I recently saw on TV how roadkill was cleaned up, and holy crap thats a terrible job. The workers have to go out and clean up the rotting, sloppy remnants of the deer, rabbit, badger, etc with just shovels and gloved hands which is incredibly nasty. So I figure that they should just attach a snow plowish scraper on the front of the truck, that would flip back allowing the corpse to ooze into the truck bed. No muss, no fuss.
-- MikeOxbig, Dec 17 2005

I don't want to do it http://dukelabs.com...wards/JobAwards.htm
You clean it up, Mike [lurch, Dec 17 2005, last modified Apr 25 2013]

Roadkill refinery Roadkill_20refinery
With one of these, you will go out _looking_ for roadkill to clean up! [bungston, Jan 01 2006]

A snow blower-ish contraption would be more interesting than one of a plow-ish variety.
-- The Acrimonious Obfuscator, Dec 17 2005


I know when I posted this self-same idea (targeted to tire fragments and other highway detritus, but same difference), people linked to a whole bunch or prior art. Can't find any of it now, of course.

But croissant, anyway, for being a great mind.
-- DrCurry, Dec 17 2005


Great minds think alike you know.
-- MikeOxbig, Dec 17 2005


Oh, stop licking each other's boots (ha ha ha, just kidding, pero qué hueva).

+ because everytime I see a roadkill, I can't help but feeling bad for those who get paid to remove the corpses.
-- Pericles, Dec 18 2005


You could bring recycling into this. When a truck gets a full tank, it brings it back to the plant and dumps the contents into a mincer of sorts. The plant would then sell the mince either as fertilizer to farmers, meat to dog food companies, or as mince to McDonalds.
-- Honduras, Dec 19 2005


Oh, that McDonald's urban legend again. Until november, I was in the advt. business, and since McDonald's was one of our big clients we had to come up with a creative way to deal with the common belief that their meat was made with rat meat. Of course, when we got the feedback from the focus groups and interviews, we realized it would have been worse for the brand to have ads that tried to make people believe those were all lies, because we had no way to prove it. So, McDonald's gave up.

(secretly, we didn't believe their story either).
-- Pericles, Dec 19 2005


Actually, I've never heard of that urban legend. I just think their burgers taste like roadkill!
-- Honduras, Dec 19 2005


Yet for some reason, despite the awful taste of McDonald's burgers, they still remain very popular. Why is that?
-- MikeOxbig, Dec 20 2005


T.A. "So, do they give you any special tools or equipment?"

D.C. "Just a shovel."
-- The Acrimonious Obfuscator, Dec 20 2005


What about something that just vacuumed it up? Ugh. That'd be gross... especially since you used the word 'gelatinous'. It makes me think of what happens when you suck jello off a plate, or do shooters... the texture in your mouth. Yummy.
-- Juggalo4Eternity, Dec 20 2005


I don't know if I'd do shooters with jellied roadkill.
-- MikeOxbig, Dec 20 2005


This gives me an idea... ROADKILL ROTO-TILLER! MUAHAHAHHAAHAHAAHAHAA!!
-- EvilPickels, Dec 22 2005


We could have a whole line of roadkill related products.
-- MikeOxbig, Dec 22 2005


I prefer not to think about roadkill. Seriously.
-- Chickenbreadthe1st, Dec 23 2005


Why not?
-- MikeOxbig, Dec 31 2005


This could depend on the size of the roadkill. For moose and caribou roadkill there's a waiting list. State trooper finds one (or has to do one in after an accident that didn't quite off the poor critter) and he radios dispatch, who calls down the list until they find somebody who wants it. Not the same for porcupines, though. Must be a thousand flat ones twixt Spenard and Ninilchik (around three hundred miles).
-- humanbean, Dec 31 2005


// For moose and caribou roadkill there's a waiting list. State trooper finds one and he radios dispatch, who calls down the list until they find somebody who wants it.//

Who in their right mind wants a splattered reindeer? Plus I would've thought that running over a porcupine would pop your tires.
-- MikeOxbig, Jan 02 2006


It helps if you don't think of it as splattered reindeer but as pre-tenderised venison. Mmmmmm venison.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jan 02 2006


Tasty.
-- MikeOxbig, Dec 10 2006



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