The UN is in session, and once more Manhattan grinds to a halt as the police try to achieve the impossible and protect the diplomats from any and all terrorist attacks in a crowded city, closing buildings, blocking off streets and shuttling long convoys of SUVs and Mercedes back and forth.

In the meantime, city and state officials still haven't been able to agree on what to do with Governor's Island, now that US Customs has ceded it back for the princely sum of $1. And there have been grumblings about the need to update and renovate the UN facilities. Thirdly, the Javits Center, New York's convention center, is woefully undersized for today's mega-conventions, which have, one by one, been leaving town. And finally, every category deserves to have more than one idea.

So, I propose we kill all these birds with one stone, and build a new UN facility on Governor's Island, along with residential and hotel accommodations. When the UN is not in session, it can double as a convention center.

Since the city's airports are all on the water (well, except Newark), diplomats can be shuttled to their planes by ferry or helicopter, making the process even securer.

Once the present compound is vacated, this prime bit of residential real estate in the heart of Midtown can revert to its highest and best use, making Donald Trump rich.

And, speaking of birds and stones, if Bin Laden, President Bush and/or Magneto do decide to take out the UN, they can now do so without harming many innocent New Yorkers.

[My apologies to those of you who don't live in New York and probably have no idea what I'm talking about.]
-- DrCurry, Sep 25 2003

Governor's Island http://www.halfjew....ages/governorsx.jpg
The green bit at the tip of Manhattan is Battery Park, if you're trying to get your bearings. [DrCurry, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

I'm voting for, but won't using it as a hotel in the "off season" make it less secure?
-- phoenix, Sep 25 2003


I'm from NYC, and I don't even know where Governor's Island is.

...you're right, that does make it pretty secure :)
-- phundug, Sep 25 2003


Fishbone for advocating the killing of birds.

[Hmm. Categories are always supposed to have at least 2 ideas in them. One must have been deleted.]
-- bristolz, Sep 25 2003


How about relocating it to Jerusalem? <sound of nichpo running for cover>
-- nichpo, Sep 25 2003


Why NYC at all? Why not Jackson Hole, Wyoming or Ocala, Florida? Why the US at all?
-- waugsqueke, Sep 25 2003


phundug: Governor's Island is a beautiful little chunk of New England village plunked down in the middle of New York Harbor, accessed from a ferry terminal that has all but fallen into the East River. I went to a couple of events at the Officer's Mess there.
bristolz: you are overlooking the surfeit of starlings we face on two continents.
bp: Forgot to put that bit in.
waugs: I'm assuming, of course, that we're stuck with it.
-- DrCurry, Sep 25 2003


Staten Island has even more space, now that Fresh Kills is closed. I suggest it be put right atop the dump. After it gets a parklike grass covering, of course. You could even include basement windows to keep an eye on decomposing slurry.

I am sure the Rockefellers have a provision that they get the land back if the UN vacates it.
-- bungston, Sep 25 2003


I'm with [waugqueke]. They should move it to a country who pay their UN dues. As its stands, the US are exacting an extremely high rent for housing the UN.
-- never trust a man in a blue trench coat, Sep 25 2003


Yes. Definately share the joy.
-- little dog laughed, Sep 25 2003


[buddha_pest] I think the point that [ntamiabtc] was making was that the dues that the US has, for years, witheld from the UN could be considered as a very steep rent.

I think the location of the UN should be decided algorithmically. If there are 200 countries in the UN and d(x) is the distance from country x's capital to the UN building, then

D=d(1)+d(2)+d(3) +...+d(200)

The UN should be at that point on the Earth's surface where D is a minimum.
-- hippo, Sep 25 2003


[hippo] Shouldn't it take into account population density in each of those UN countries? I bet the answer turns out to be somewhere like Baghdad either way but somehow I can't imagine all those UN workers being happy swapping Manhatten for Iraq. It'd be fun to see their faces mind...
-- hazel, Sep 25 2003


The island is perfect for some kind of college. The quip about the Rockefellers reminds me that Rockefeller University (also on the East Side) is pretty much a graduate-degree-only institution. I can't think of a more perfect place for a large, new undergraduate school, and RU is probably in the best position to make this move. NYU is a close second with their nebulous (some would say octopii-like) holdings scattered throughout Greenwich Village, but without a doubt Governor's Island is a coherent campus setting, complete with a fraternity row (former officer's quarters) a bowling alley, a medical facility, and a movie theatre. For that matter, it has a golf course which should be opened to the public for a fee: What other nine-hole greens are ten minutes from Wall Street? I shudder to think of those buildings falling into disrepair. It used to be a Coast Guard base and training facility (there's a fine deepwater dock); maybe a new SUNY school established there could emphasize marine science. Utter and criminal lack of vision by local politicians on all parts with regard to this place at the moment. And the UN runs a fine local school as well, so... It would be nice if the place had a subway stop. (It would also be nice if Staten Island had one, but there I go again...) Please no casino.
-- cloudface, Sep 25 2003



random, halfbakery