Science: Extraterrestrial Life
Reliable UFO Detector   (+8, -6)  [vote for, against]
Productive employment for the insane.

We all know that UFOs have a beam they shoot you with that makes you forget you ever saw them. So if you've ever seen a UFO, you must be a lunatic -- but if you've never seen one, you probably see them all the time.

But if we could find a lunatic who has never seen a UFO, their account would have to be reliable, right?
-- beauxeault, Jun 28 2000

Retorts... http://www.halfbake...Retort_20Depository
(this link inserted to demonstrate the "Retort Depository" idea.) [beauxeault, Jan 16 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

My wife and I bought a high-priced Sony videocam a couple of years ago. Promptly after the one-year warranty expired, we began having problems with it. Though we've treated it with kid gloves, it has continued to break. Virtually every feature---including such frills as recording, playback, and power---have now malfunctioned and needed repair (at considerable cost).

After the fifth or sixth breakdown, we contacted Sony and asked them to replace it. However, they have denied that it could possibly be defective.

Certainly, such a high-quality product was not meant to last only a year. The only other explanation, therefore, is that UFOs keep flying over our house, causing the camera to stop working in various ways so that we cannot possibly videotape them. This is exciting. If we actually see one of them, it will be worth all the expense and frustration the camera has caused us. I'm sure Sony will want to hear about it, too, as it will confirm that all this had nothing to do with them after all.
-- Ander, Jul 26 2000


A dazzling display of logic, take a bow !!!
-- boarish1, Apr 23 2001


Find a local MUFON meeting. The Looneys there are the ones who have seen one. Any others should do fine.
-- Tain, Aug 09 2001


Flawless logic. For the Retort Depository example to be technically accurate, would not this idea need to be marked for deletion?
-- waugsqueke, Jan 16 2002


sorry....a new scientific breakthrough occured in the early 20th century....it's called MURPHY's LAW.....the camcorder was MEANT to BREAK after the warranty expired......as murphy says, anythng that can go wrong will....
-- omega_scientist, Jan 16 2002


waugs: No, the m-f-d is only an option, as is the link to the Retort Depository. I don't intend to sacrifice this idea for the sake of the demonstration. I personally happen to still like the idea, even if it's not terribly popular.
-- beauxeault, Jan 16 2002


Ah my misunderstanding. I thought.... well, continued back at the Retort idea.

And to be clear, I wasn't proposing this idea is worthy of the MFD, by no means. It's no Global Zen MIDI, but it's still enjoyable.
-- waugsqueke, Jan 16 2002


I kind of like this one... and I can't quite get my head round any kind of counter argument... so it gets a pastry despite being a little on the unlikely side...
-- RobertKidney, Jan 16 2002



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