"Hello, and thank you for calling the Remucon3 complaint department. We're excited to help you deal with your issues and are committed to making your experience as pleasant as possible. Please listen to the following choices:

For complaints about Remucon3 billing, press 1. (beep)

You've pressed 2, vibrating buttplug too small for my distended anus. For a list of bigger vibrating buttplugs and the companies that sell them, press 5. (1111111111)

You've pressed, one billion, one hundred eleven million, one hundred eleven thousand, one hundred eleven, you wish to be surgically transformed into a lizard, but a really stupid looking one with an elephant nose. Looking up your file. We're sorry, we see by your picture that you've already had this surgery. To take a brief survey of how we did, please press 3. (1111111111111111111111)

You've selected, one hundred eleven billion one hundred eleven million one hundred eleven thousand one hundred eleven which means "I've got a stinky buttface, and am a stinky butt who stinks and has a butt where my face is which stinks". Thank you for this information and thank you for calling Remucon3. Goodbye."
-- doctorremulac3, Mar 14 2023

"beep ..." Fashion_20Models_20...Bad_2c_20Disc_20One
[normzone, Mar 20 2023]

[+/-]
-- Voice, Mar 14 2023


Sounds about right.
-- doctorremulac3, Mar 14 2023


Think you're trying a bit too hard.
-- xenzag, Mar 14 2023


Thank you for your much appreciated criticism. Your instructions on how we should proceed are greatly appreciated and we’re excited to review and consider your request. Please allow six to eight millennia for our response and again, thank you for helping us serve you better.
-- doctorremulac3, Mar 14 2023


WKTE. Press * for English; press % for Remulan; press any key to discontinue.
-- Canuck, Mar 15 2023


Where's the ANY key?!?
-- RayfordSteele, Mar 15 2023


"Press any key to continue" (beep)

"Incorrect input. Press any key to continue."
-- doctorremulac3, Mar 15 2023


(0)
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Mar 16 2023


"Zero is not any key. Press any key to continue."
-- doctorremulac3, Mar 16 2023


(00000000000000000000000)
-- Voice, Mar 16 2023


"Congratulations! You've typed in the correct code to win this month's prize of a Nigerian prince. No money, just an actual Nigerian prince. Please enter your social security number, bank account numbers and credit card numbers to have the prince deposited directly to your accounts."
-- doctorremulac3, Mar 16 2023



random, halfbakery