Given that today, 21 May 2011, is meant to be the day of The Rapture, I hereby propose a post-rapture party in a city near you. As soon as it rolls over to 22 May you are free to do a little post-rapture looting of the possessions of those who've been summarily removed from the planet.
Afterwards, we'll all meet back at the central square and get on with a little gluttony, sloth, greed, wrath, pride, vanity and lust.
No admission if you previously attended religious ceremonies in the honest belief you would somehow be saved by your gang of imaginary friends.-- infidel, May 20 2011 Samoa http://www.bbc.co.u...s/business-13330592 [hippo, May 20 2011] 2011 end times prediction http://en.wikipedia...nd_times_prediction [hippo, May 20 2011] CNBC http://www.cnbc.com/id/43110839Ah right, here we go - it starts in American Samoa, who opted to stay where it was, on the US side of the International Date Line. The other bits of Samoa, by making the switch have given themselves an extra 24 hours. Sneaky! [hippo, May 20 2011] Atlantic: Interview with loony nutter http://www.theatlan...its-tonight/239177/ [hippo, May 20 2011] This will never happen.-- pocmloc, May 20 2011 Where I am, it's still the 20th - are you still there, [inf]?
This raises an interesting question. How does the rapting hook up with the International Date Line? Obviously, god will use Greenwich Mean Time, but will he make a correction for British Summer Time? Will he base the timing of his rapting on geopolitically agreed time-zones, or on astronomical time? Has he made the necessary corrections for calendrical revisions?
Also, there are two islands somewhere which are very close together but on opposite sides of the dateline. I hope they have developed a good industry based on rapture management; just move to the eastern island the day before, and see if your phone calls to the western island are answered. If yes, all well and good and you keep your stuff. If no, you've still got 24 hours to repent.-- MaxwellBuchanan, May 20 2011 I believe many such parties are planned, though they may not go as far as your suggestion, [infidel].
I've heard many stories of folks planning to leave piles of clothing and shoes in public areas, and release helium-filled sex dolls into the sky.
[MaxwellBuchanan] Camping says it will occur at precisely 6 PM at the international date line, simultaneously planet wide. Set your clocks accordingly.
Looks like Tonga is right on the tomorrow side of the line. It's (at time of writing) 8:20 AM there now, so it appears the end of the world is a bit over nine hours away.-- tatterdemalion, May 20 2011 Oh great. That'll be something like 6am here. I'll watch the replay.-- MaxwellBuchanan, May 20 2011 Actually, he says it will roll around the planet, time zone to time zone, so Tonga will get it first, and then go from there.-- MechE, May 20 2011 This is going to be fun; the faithful get called home, and the rest of us divvy up thier stuff. I've always thought I'd make a great post-apocalyptic warlord...-- Alterother, May 20 2011 Post-Rapture Yard Sale, more like…Can someone clarify for me what happens with Samoa? They've only just changed from one side of the date line to the other (see link) but I assume all of the logistics and planning for rapturing people was done months ago - will the organisers of the Rapture be able to accommodate such a late change?-- hippo, May 20 2011 Perhaps it is a trick, the raptormobil rolls up to Samoa and they all laugh and say "it was yesterday! Where were you?"-- pocmloc, May 20 2011 going to bed on the 20th wondering why they call it *rapture*-- po, May 20 2011 Oops, shit... see ya!-- infidel, May 20 2011 not if I see you first m'dear.
even if you bring a bottle.-- po, May 20 2011 Tapping fingers...what to wear, oh dear, what to wear...???-- blissmiss, May 20 2011 What do you take to a rapture party? Rapture presents. Not yet.-- marklar, May 20 2011 With all the self-righteous gone, can we do away with the morality laws?-- ldischler, May 20 2011 //Rapture presents. Not yet.//
Award.-- MaxwellBuchanan, May 20 2011 Odd. The ebiblefellowship site lists both May 21st and October 21st as the end of the world. Must be they want the world to end in the fall both for the southern hemisphere and the northern. If the planet end up as a wobbly hemisphere for 6 months you'll know why.-- RayfordSteele, May 21 2011 The rapture is now, the rest of us just get to hang around a progressively deteriorating planet for another five months.-- MechE, May 21 2011 A second ago there was explosions and flashes outside my window and I thought it was the rapture, but then I realized it's Victoria Day weekend and people are letting off fireworks.
Learn from my mistake and double check before stripping nude and running out into the street crying for the good lord to take you.-- rcarty, May 21 2011 Hahahahahaha, best anno in a long time. [rcarty]-- blissmiss, May 21 2011 Oh bugger - have I missed it?-- DenholmRicshaw, May 21 2011 At around 6pm I was in the process of fixing my bike, and pinched my finger rather painfully. Do you suppose that was it?-- MaxwellBuchanan, May 21 2011 Yeah, OK, fine... but what am I gonna do with this collection of dashboard statues?
(Bun anyway... <grumble grumble> [+])-- Grogster, May 21 2011 //what am I gonna do with this collection of dashboard statues? //
Return them to the Easter Islanders. And for goodness' sake buy a smaller car.-- MaxwellBuchanan, May 21 2011 The Easter Islanders all got to go, last time.-- infidel, May 21 2011 hahaha [MaxwellBuchanan].-- Mustardface, May 22 2011 No, dang it. I guess I have to put the lid down after all...
Hey, [infidel], are you gonna have to take back all those inflatable party favors?-- Grogster, May 22 2011 LATE BREAKING NEWS!!!
It really DID happen! The problem seems to be that everyone was thinking on WAY too grand a scale.
Only one guy got raptured. ONE. Ironically, he couldn't stand it and came straight back because they were all blowing vuvuzelas up there. He couldn't get a wink of sleep.-- Grogster, May 22 2011 Just hook them up to a vuvuzela and stand on them, [Grogster]. Your neighbours will "enrapture" you before you know it.-- infidel, May 22 2011 Terrible way to die, that …-- 8th of 7, May 22 2011 You have just invented vuvuzela rap.-- pocmloc, May 22 2011 [bigsleep] You never know. Maybe they play Bach in Heaven.-- mouseposture, May 22 2011 // the best we can hope is 90's chart material and the birdy song //
1 Corinthians 15:55 ...-- 8th of 7, May 22 2011 There's a law against shouting "FIRE!" in a crowded space, isn't there?-- MaxwellBuchanan, May 22 2011 (Shooting ranges and theatres which are actually on fire are obviously excepted.)-- MaxwellBuchanan, May 22 2011 A crowded shooting range?-- pocmloc, May 22 2011 A crowded theatre filled with mimes on fire, serving as a shooting range? Oh, YES …-- 8th of 7, May 22 2011 Not sure about criminal liability, but I am think you could make a fraud charge stick, since he accepted donations given as a result of the prediction.-- MechE, May 22 2011 He has also caused losses. He shoud be tried.-- MaxwellBuchanan, May 22 2011 I can see the headlines now:
"States Go Camping For Compensation."-- infidel, May 22 2011 "Camp Compo - Only the Pure Will Receive" (Details on page 6)-- methinksnot, May 22 2011 The false prophet was a money grabbing scumhole.
I know his source material far, far better than he, it seems.
And shame for him.
So many better things could have been brought to fruition.-- Zimmy, May 23 2011 Nice SLYT, [Ian Tindale]. I'd found {Feck} Divine Comedy's rendition of Rapture, but that mash-up's lovely-- Dub, May 23 2011 random, halfbakery