Whether polygraph tests work or not is not a subject of consideration for this bit of half-bakery. Generally the results of a polygraph test look something like a seismograph. A geologist in the same room as a hooked up salesman would be nervously looking for a load-bearing doorway.

But I am not concerned with scientists. I am concerned with all sorts of tomfoolery and obtuseness. I propose a device that straps onto the subject's face with the output at the nose. When the device determines a lie, an air pump or mechanical device inflates/extends a rubber latex proboscis. The subject gets a sense of being old Pine Eyes himself.

Could also be useful for those same law enforcement officials trying to pick up a date. Since their machismo might be derived from a lack of something else, they strap it on elsewhere and tell all sorts of lies. Sorry, I've said too much...
-- bdag, Oct 29 2009

Two words...

Sodium Pinocchiothol.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 30 2009


Nice. Essential. Also, for those looking to fool a polygraph, just pucker your asshole. Works like a charm.
-- daseva, Oct 30 2009


Grumble grumble ... bad word formation ... you can't just shove parts of two words together and have the result take the meaning of both words ... Polynocchio would mean 'many nuts' ... grumble fart snort.
-- spidermother, Oct 31 2009


I considered that it might also mean many pieces of dense potato pasta...

We really should get around to changing the word ham-burger to something else. I understand the etymology, but that's one of those silly words that we borrowed without Anglicizing.
-- bdag, Nov 02 2009



random, halfbakery