I was thinking, there are two problems with toothpick sandwich holders: first the little cellophane tops are so frequently seen. Or flags, or umbrellas, or whatever. Boooring.

Secondly, if you aren't bored to tears by your toothpick, there is always the risk that you could bite into the toothpick while eating the sandwich.

Thirdly, you can either remove the toothpick and let the sandwich fall apart, or you can move the toothpick. How annoying, a third problem.

So express yourself with the pierced sandwich and its accompanying pierced sandwich threader. This is really a two-piece system. The threader comes in various sizes to make various holes. Then you can stick a straw in the hole like it were an earlobe.

Or you could use the edible sandwich studs, carved from carrots or celery. Gargoyles, spikes, hearts, pacifiers, take your pick. Or even make it out of asparagus. The stalk of the vegetable goes into the piercing, and then cream cheese or peanut butter or whatever you like are used as an adhesive to hold on the studs to the post.
-- polartomato, Aug 22 2002

(?) A proper sandwich. http://www.greatwor....com/al/dagbest.jpg
[Amos Kito, Oct 04 2004]

Wouldn't it be possible to stitch the sandwich together using the stringy bits out of celery ?

I wonder if it would be possible to machine a thread into a spindle of raw carrot - a sort of self tapping tap root ....
-- 8th of 7, Aug 22 2002


If I was going to post a painfully derivative idea based on this, it would be:

The Sandwich Sewing Machine
==========================
Preserve your sandwich integrity

Just make your sandwich, pop it in the tray of the Sandwich Sewing Machine, press the button, and Viola! - your sandwich has been neatly stiched together with chives...
-- hippo, Aug 22 2002


I've never come across 'toothpick' sandwiches. I obviously don't move in the right social circles. When making tea for my cricket team, the preferred binding agent is Branston pickle. It tastes horrible but you could use it for sticking tiles to your bathroom wall.
-- DrBob, Aug 22 2002


DrBob: I've only seen them in America, with their penchant for overstuffed sandwiches that would topple otherwise.

Mephista: I think he got a life.
-- DrCurry, Aug 22 2002


Further to the egnor story. He stopped posting shortly after the [egnor-boring-yuck] debacle. When the 'bakery filtering tool was first introduced, he started using that tag as a way of filtering stuff out. Unfortunately, for him, other people (you might be able to guess who) cottoned on and started sticking the tag on everything he annotated. I think he had a bit of a sense of humour failure at that point.
-- DrBob, Aug 22 2002


Mephista: Nah, that's not true, although egnor certainly got what he deserved there - he has annotated at least as recently as August 1, based on a quick search view.
-- DrCurry, Aug 23 2002


Unlike some of us. And I think you'll find this is DrBob's first time through.
-- DrCurry, Aug 23 2002


I guess I was a little tired when I wrote this idea. "Sandwich studs" would be a blunt alternative to the toothpick. Yes, I have read about sandwich staples. This is another way of approaching the same problem. And toothpicks appear on all sizes of sandwiches in America, even in 'whores de of yours.' I had been eating a sandwich, and thinking about a friend's piercing, and thus the idea was born.

I think perhaps we could have carrot sharpeners that will sharpen carrot sticks to a point so they can be stabbed through your sandwich. I think these would be fun to look at. Pierced sandwiches would be a decorative feature. There would be a blunt bottom as well as a blunt top sticking out of the sandwich, reducing the chances that you could hurt your lip on a sharp piece of wood.

And I have yet to see an edible toothpick- find me one if I am wrong. Instead of throwing away a bunch of unneeded toothpicks from your jumbo American Sandwich of Death, which is wasteful, you could just eat them.
-- polartomato, Aug 23 2002


DrCurry: Oh yes, so he has.

One of my mates was telling me, the other day, about a salt beef sandwich he had somewhere in Texas. He described it as a whole cow perched precariously between two slices of Nimble. He couldn't understand why they bothered with the bread at all.
-- DrBob, Aug 23 2002


Only Americans would have toothpicks in their sangers, flags and bits of colored plastic, they also have huge sandwiches with 4 layers, club sandwiches, why dont you just have an ordinary sandwich with ham and a bit of lettuce, maybe some mayonaise or mustard to keep it all together
-- Bingowings, Nov 20 2002


You could have bread straps that hung over the sides of the sandwich that you tied together to keep your lunch from landing in your lap.. Or velcro bread, two different types...one on the top layer, and one on the bottom...
-- Supercruiser, Nov 21 2002


Rule of thumb: When in doubt about the quality at a restaurant someone else has chosen, order the Club Sandwich
-- thumbwax, Nov 21 2002


I agree but can very seldom finish even half of one.
-- bristolz, Nov 21 2002



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