Arrange all the Halfbakers into a big table, according to properties and behavioural patterns.Define and position your symbol.
The further down a group, the more strongly the description relates
Bakers further left tend to be more violent and opinionated, bakers further right generally more objective
Group 1: Bakers often react violently to controversial ideas or criticism
Transition Bakers: Mostly newbies, transition bakers haven't yet firmly established themselves on the 'bakery. Position (left - right) indicates any current leanings
Group 7: Bakers have the power to displace lesser bakers. Most moderators
Group 0: Noble bakers. Intelligent bakers often take neutral standpoint, offering advice and help. Rarely violent
Lanthanoids & Actinoids: Bakers that don't really fit in anywhere in particular but have leanings towards certain groups & positions-- NickTheGreat, Aug 16 2002 Webelements http://www.webelements.comChoose your element [NickTheGreat, Aug 16 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004] Strontium/Strontian http://www.curriehj....co.uk/strontia.htmThe West Highland Connection. [calum, Aug 18 2002] Tellurium for TeaTotal http://mineral.gall...lluriu/telluriu.htmunless she dislikes garlic [po, Aug 18 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004] Have a look round here http://www.rsc.org/periodic-table [angel, Aug 19 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004] Governmentium http://www.vlrc.org/articles/28.htmlI put the 'mentium' in governing. [pathetic, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004] Strontium Dog http://www.strontiu...er.co.uk/chars.htmlFor my face your. Not really relevant but it just jogged some pleasant memories. [DrBob, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004] The *Real* Periodic Table http://www.bbc.co.u...ies1/periodic.shtmlcourtesy of 'Look around You' [gnomethang, Jan 08 2006] I think I'll have to take good ol' technetium (Tc) Unfortunately, that falls into Group 7..-- Mr Burns, Aug 16 2002 The symbol has to be Ps2. Definitely on the right-hand side towards the bottom (strongly objective), and I'll kill anyone who disagrees.-- PeterSilly, Aug 16 2002 PB for me. I'm soft and dense.-- phoenix, Aug 16 2002 No 84, metal and completely boring.-- po, Aug 16 2002 [p] and you are easily led-- po, Aug 16 2002 po - you mean 'bohring', yes?
Next week, already?-- waugsqueke, Aug 16 2002 yes waugs, and I am fairly stable.-- po, Aug 16 2002 Hangs to the leftWx = WaxiumCt = Croissant-- thumbwax, Aug 16 2002 Element 87 - Francium. Group 1. Alkali metal, reacts violently - and radioactive to boot. A real hard electron donor and major-league reducing agent ...
Yup, that's us ... but Francium ? We can't stand the French .... can we call it Borgium ?
Slightly fizzy, glowing croissant.-- 8th of 7, Aug 16 2002 8th of 7, that does not make you 87. rather you are 8th row on column 7 or 7th row on column 8 which are both rare earths. not a bad thing to be, soft and malleable.-- po, Aug 16 2002 Well, I must be element 21, Scandium, a transition metal. The oxide is a weak base but with a melting point of K 1812, bonding radius of A 1.44 and a boiling point of K 3104, that makes me pretty hot to trot and under the collar.-- FarmerJohn, Aug 16 2002 I spy a Lewes connection in that link Nicky boy. Spookier and spookier!-- DrBob, Aug 16 2002 Can I be a compound?-- beauxeault, Aug 16 2002 How about a laughing gas?-- FarmerJohn, Aug 16 2002 N2O left under a cloud I am afraid-- po, Aug 16 2002 Where the hell do I go?( I never was any good at chemistry )-- kaz, Aug 17 2002 Gotta be Fe. Main component to Steel. Been in a million different jobs, and moldable if well-heated, but often cold and hard. A wanna-be magnet, and always losing track of its electrons.-- RayfordSteele, Aug 17 2002 Can I be magnesium? It glows when you flame it and gives you the puns, I mean runs, to boot.-- polartomato, Aug 17 2002 [kaz] the best place for you is Potassium. (K comes in at 19) - soft, silvery-white, gets a little silly in the water.-- po, Aug 17 2002 W - tungsten... I light up the room.-- waugsqueke, Aug 17 2002 UB I knew you had been around for a while but not *that* long.-- po, Aug 17 2002 half-thank you, my half-dear. what is the half-life of a halfbaker, I half-wonder.-- po, Aug 17 2002 A quarterbaker, of course-- thumbwax, Aug 17 2002 Darn it. I haven't been discovered yet.-- dag, Aug 18 2002 Strontium, from the West Highlands. Second group, three from the bottom. The symbol is Sr, so it may be more appropriate for salachair.-- calum, Aug 18 2002 I'm afraid I'm a compound.-- watermelancholy, Aug 18 2002 I'll be #39, Y (for Yttrium). Why? Just because.-- TeaTotal, Aug 18 2002 link. strange girl, Te was made for you..-- po, Aug 18 2002 I'm definitely Molybdenum which appropriately enough has the atomic number 42. I'm a silvery-white, hard, transition metal apparently.-- madradish, Aug 18 2002 Excellent, [Nick]!-- angel, Aug 19 2002 I would like to be number 73, tantalum, because it sounds like it keeps you guessing.-- sappho, Aug 19 2002 I'd really like to be Angelium, but, to date, it hasn't been discarvard. I could be silver (Ag) but that's a bit pretentious. I think I'll be Tin (soft and pliable, but not much use), partly because of the tin mines in Cornwall.-- angel, Aug 19 2002 No, because then I'd be aluminium (symbol Al).-- angel, Aug 19 2002 Aaarg.. covert Tom Lehrer quote... Must.. resist.. urge.. to post.. entire.. song's.. lyrics..-- yamahito, Aug 19 2002 nice link, angel.-- po, Aug 19 2002 I wanna be the big O. (You know why.)-- XSarenkaX, Aug 19 2002 XSX, You're explosively combustible? You like hanging out with a copy of yourself? You're mouth often forms that shape in disbelief at our sillyness? You and a friend like to steal electrons from unsuspecting carbon atoms? You like rust?-- RayfordSteele, Aug 19 2002 "(You know why.)"
Well then I'm S, because that's what makes the big O SO.-- beauxeault, Aug 19 2002 But S can bond with multiple O's simultaneously ... <snigger> dative covalent bonding - electron pair donor ... </snigger>-- 8th of 7, Aug 19 2002 Ptbling. bling.-- iuvare, Aug 19 2002 Hg is right for me, probably . . .-- bristolz, Aug 19 2002 quicksilver... hmmm... reflective, poisonous, useful for gaging the temperature, and makes for great shape-shifting special effects; yeah I can see that match-up. But then there's that high density factor to mess it all up. <aside>Do you find it odd that 'air-headed' is synonymous with 'dense?'</aside>-- RayfordSteele, Aug 19 2002 Well, I don't know about the shape-shifting part but the rest sounds right.-- bristolz, Aug 19 2002 Why hasn't [Helium] posted to this one yet, I wonder? I get to be Sillycon.-- BigBrother, Aug 19 2002 Hi, [bz], how's ya doin'?-- angel, Aug 20 2002 I'm doing good!-- bristolz, Aug 20 2002 Damn! I was gonna bagsie Mercury. Surprisingly heavy and OK in small doses.-- DrBob, Aug 20 2002 ...but ultimately resulting in dementia?-- angel, Aug 20 2002 Indeed.-- DrBob, Aug 20 2002 Hi. I'm Californium - an excellent source of neutrons, you know - they don't call me Cf for nuthin' (?) *ahem* Po is Polonium-- thumbwax, Aug 20 2002 thumb, I thought I had already claimed no 84?-- po, Aug 20 2002 i'm carbon - i have many uses, i can appear in many different forms, i bond easily with others, and sometimes i really shine. :o)
i'm surprised that nobody has chosen hf ---> hafnium.-- mihali, Aug 20 2002 I'm going to make up R to wind up chemists by being confused with a carbon chain... what do you mean there are rules about that sort of thing?-- RobertKidney, Aug 20 2002 [UnaBubba]: [bristolz] has a flaky crust?-- angel, Aug 20 2002 Robert, you could always take Kr, krypton. 'Fraid it isn't very exciting, unless you run a charge through it, or if you happen to be Superman.-- RayfordSteele, Aug 20 2002 "Oxygen in excited states is responsible for the bright red and yellow-green colours of the aurora."
Wow, who knew I could emit colors while excited?-- XSarenkaX, Aug 20 2002 But he never said anything. See my comments in the appropriate environment re: cannons and jousting. With oxygen being so combustible, though, I don't know if I really should.-- XSarenkaX, Aug 20 2002 Is oxygen combustible?
[angel]: I AM a flaky crust.-- bristolz, Aug 20 2002 it supports combustion - sounds like a bra.-- po, Aug 20 2002 Are we suppose to make up elements or associate ourselves with existing ones?-- barnzenen, Aug 20 2002 [bz]: Better than being a crusty flake.-- angel, Aug 21 2002 Po - you described No. 84 as completely boring - since that doesn't describe Polonium *at all* - nor explain your bluish glow - I think you ought to read your biography.-- thumbwax, Aug 21 2002 OK-- po, Aug 21 2002 Barnzenen: you can make up your own if you're feeling creative; otherwise just associate yourself (yes, you can be a compound... but it's not so easy).I was under the impression Po was the red teletubby - wouldn't tinky-winky have a bluish glow?Oh, and I'm having Nickel (Ni), for obvious reasons. Only qualm is the transition position, implying newbiness. Could be Nitrogen (N), I suppose. Better location if nothing else.-- NickTheGreat, Aug 21 2002 Or maybe Neon ? Equally lightweight, colourless, odourless, usefull only for producing tacky advertising .... but Noble, none the less.-- 8th of 7, Aug 21 2002 Alright, I'll be Berylium [Be]. I resist corruption (oxidation) at normal temps and with a little help from some friends I can cause some real damage, if need be. I am generally available and easy to get to. I can't really find anything else that sounds like me...but I thought I would be more to the right. I don't know, what do yall think?-- barnzenen, Aug 21 2002 <bathed in a sinister blue glow> (TinkyWinky is purple) apparently Po is used as heat source for spaceships - I keep spacemen warm, hey thats nice. </bathed in a sinister blue glow>-- po, Aug 21 2002 Guess I'm out there somwhere in the transuranides. There are a couple of people here we could assign to Holmium, and a couple more to Bismuth, but that wouldn't be very nice.-- DrCurry, Aug 21 2002 [ravenswood], according to Oliver Sacks in his book "Uncle Tungsten" (a great read btw), a xenon-filled balloon is about as close to a lead balloon as one can get.-- bristolz, Aug 21 2002 Zirconium
atomic number 40, which by a feat of serendipity renders me a transition baker. Excellent. Have a french cultral food product for setting this up for me!
(also it's good because, like, transuranic heavy elements may not be used where there is life.)
Zirconium is a getter in vacuum tubes, amongst *many* other things.-- Zircon, Aug 22 2002 That purpose alone warrants my thanks for its existence, I being the tube nut that I am.-- angel, Aug 22 2002 W for tungsten is mine.-- BinaryCookies, Aug 23 2002 ummm, bc, see waugsqueke's second annotation.-- mihali, Aug 23 2002 "Charlie was a chemist But Charlie is no more What Charlie thought was H20 Was H2S04."
<Been wanting to use that somewhere since I saw your username, and this seems perfect.>
Tigranium, Symbol SC: Under some circumstances, scintillates brilliantly, usually a mix of black and white. Reacts violently to Trollium.-- StarChaser, Sep 07 2002 Hmm, so if my cat got on here and posted nasty remarks to you [SC}, would he be considered petrollium? That would be a gas.-- bristolz, Sep 07 2002 Such a joke. I thought you were more refined than that...-- StarChaser, Sep 11 2002 Well, shows you what you get for thinking.-- bristolz, Sep 11 2002 Lithium (Li) for me – for buoyancy if nothing else. Not to mention my childhood attempt at making Au from Li – a tad too radioactive.-- Shz, Mar 04 2003 Erbium (Er), a rare earth element, seems about right for me. Soft and malleable, yet bright and fairly stable. Of course, my properties depend on impurities found.-- Worldgineer, Mar 04 2003 Can I play?-- Pericles, Mar 04 2003 No.
I don't mean to be negative, I'm just saying you could be nobelium (No). It's as good as any - or choose your own.-- Worldgineer, Mar 04 2003 I'd shirly like to be Dubnium. I like the way it sounds. And is somewhat appropriate: useless, and pretty much nothing is known about it since it doesn't occur in nature (I'm fairly sure I was created by some industrial accident).-- notme, Mar 06 2003 does this table have a ridiculous layout that 'proves' that a certain baker can be destroyed by another due to his/her position on the table (a la Evolution)? god damn, i hate that stupid movie.-- sambwiches, Mar 06 2003 No, but you really wouldn't want to use shampoo on most of them.-- DrCurry, Mar 06 2003 Wouldn't *need* to use it on some of them.-- angel, Mar 06 2003 I'd like to claim HB element 'Jb' = Inebrium.
Noted for i)special compounds with alcohols of all sorts ii) being very fizzy when mixed with the right company iii) while normally very stable, can become volatile on a dance floor - especially in situations involving (iii) {and (i)}
(Oh dear, reading that back it looks like a sad chemist's 'personal' ad)
{later: oops, it was meant to be i) but iii) adds to the instability}-- Jinbish, Mar 06 2003 Nice recursion on item (iii)-- angel, Mar 06 2003 <déjà vu> Strontium - the Ardnamurchan connection </déjà vu>-- my face your, Mar 06 2003 sambwichium.-- sambwiches, Mar 06 2003 Halfnium.-- DrCurry, Mar 06 2003 The buttered side.-- FarmerJohn, Mar 07 2003 Lanthanoid: skinsideupflapium, 59 through 61.-- skinflaps, Jan 05 2006 Minimaluminium-- Minimal, Jan 05 2006 Instead of the numbers of electrons in the shells (2, 8, 8, 14, 5, 2) you could put that halfbaker's halfbakerism codes (n+++, e--, p+, G++) in each square.-- phundug, Jan 05 2006 I'll take Cesium and join the room-temperature liquid metallics.-- csea, Jan 05 2006 Cu! Cu! Cuchuu!-- bungston, Jan 05 2006 <gangster on> You'll never take us alive, Copper! </gangster off>-- csea, Jan 05 2006 Mercury. aka Quicksilver.-- DesertFox, Jan 06 2006 [Foxy], I am sorry, but you cannot have a big Hg. May I suggest Boron? Or Plumbumb?-- bungston, Jan 06 2006 Erbium is used for doping fiber optics amplifier loops, [World]. It's very clever.-- bristolz, Jan 08 2006 Why, thank you.-- Worldgineer, Jan 08 2006 Can I be nothing (Ng). See Link.-- gnomethang, Jan 08 2006 [notme] Can I be Dubnium, please? The Mass seems about right too.-- Dub, Jan 08 2006 I guess I would be Tritium, or Deuterium but maybe due to the way people want me gone I may be more of a plutonium 238 due to lethal levels of radiation.-- travbm, Oct 30 2015 Whatever your rudeness flavor is, you'll have a short half life.-- normzone, Oct 30 2015 //I guess I would be Tritium// No, you would be a piece of half chewed gum left by a teenage troll on the underside of the table itself.-- xenzag, Oct 30 2015 Gum is mostly a hydrocarbon. Hydrogen and carbon?-- travbm, Oct 30 2015 Irrelevancy.-- xenzag, Oct 30 2015 //people want me gone//
Aww, [trav], that's not true. We'd just prefer it if you had never been here, that's all.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 30 2015 What ever happened to Timonium?-- travbm, Oct 31 2015 random, halfbakery