(prompted by an annotation in "new ideas via concatenation")

To 1/2 bowl of existing phone software, add:
1/2 gallon speech-recognition,
1 1/2 kg next-generation grammar-correction,
2 1/2 units of software to decipher and re-constitute voice timbre.

Mix well, bake for half a day at one-half degree (Celsius or Fahrenheit, it doesn't matter which). Slice into halves and serve with a demitasse of half-and-half.

Now whenever the pedant's friends call, they will all sound like perfect masters of the language. Software is not required for outgoing calls, since this is, after all, a pedant's phone.
-- beauxeault, May 14 2001

....do pedants really have friends......????? ;-)
-- Susen, May 15 2001


Good catch, Susen!

UB, thanks for spotting the typo (on Fahrenheit). Phone is an accepted spelling without the apostrophe, though.
-- beauxeault, May 15 2001


Can I sound like Daniel Pinkwater? Then I'm all for it. My highschool english teacher will be so proud...

(sirrobin and others not tuned to the USians Nation Public Radio: Daniel Pinkwater is a humorous author-fellow with impeccable grammar.)
-- Dog Ed, May 15 2001


Believe it or not, despite not being USAsian, I have heard of Mr Pinkwater.
-- sirrobin, May 17 2001


sirrobin and UnaBubba (and everyone else): sorry, didn't mean to insult your polycultural sophistication. I wasn't sure how global Mr. Pinkwater had become.
-- Dog Ed, May 17 2001


Actually.... I think you'll find.... As a matter of fact... To hell with the pedantry! Why can't they just put up with grammatical errors etc like the rest of us? I mean... RANT FILTER ON. Sorry, nearly lost it there.
-- Ivy, May 17 2001


<HBpedant> "Knucklebutt" </HBpedant>
-- absterge, May 17 2001


Not only had I not heard of Daniel Pinkwater until yesterday (although I figured him out from the context), I hadn't heard of NPR until just now. Radio station, I guess. Context = [missing].
-- angel, May 17 2001



random, halfbakery