Harness many parrots together to make pulling team, hitch them to a chariot, fly. Granted, a lightweight harness, lightweight chariot, lightweight rider, and many many parrots will be required for this plan to work. But when it does, my cockatiel will have no choice but to stop flaunting how he can fly while I cannot, thus denying him the source of his supercilious birdy attitude. The chatter of all those birds will be deafening, allowing the weaponized version to shock and awe the masses as they scramble to get crackers.
While this may not be the most viable method to achieve flight, parrots are very social animals and enjoy being in extra large flocks.-- Laughs Last, Jul 02 2004 Feather Tether™ Bird Harness http://www.naturech...m/feattetbirha.htmlMy bird doesn't trust this device. [Laughs Last, Oct 05 2004] African Swallows are non-migratory http://arago4.tn.ut...grail/scene-01.html [PainOCommonSense, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004] [-] I don't think it works the same way in the air as it does on the ground. Dogs, horses, whatever, have traction on the ground. Birds just have air under their wings...and not that much, at that. You might want to contact Santa at the North Pole and ask to borrow the reindeer...you still have six months or so to go until he needs them. Just contact the operator in Greenland, they'll patch you through.-- Pocketassreturn, Jul 02 2004 My problem is the waste, a few hundred birds above, one unsuspecting pilot below....-- swimr, Jul 03 2004 Sure, protective eyewear is a must. Keeps out the poo, reduces eyes getting pecked out, looks good with the scarf.-- Laughs Last, Jul 03 2004 [Pocketass] of course birds can generate extra lift otherwise how do birds of prey carry their kills? +-- engineer1, Jul 05 2004 Would you imagine a solid mass of birds or a carefully managed wing or hundreds / thousands of birds in a V shape. With the massive triangle of birds on a horizontal plane It may require more weight in wire/string teathers than the individual bird can support. (assuming you used Osprey which are probably capable of lifting some 2 Kg for short periods of time.) (Is that an african swallow or a european swallow and exactly how large are the coconuts?)-- PainOCommonSense, Jul 05 2004 I imagine some combination of fishing line based dog sled configuration team harnesses along with a leightweight spaceframe to maintain spacing.
The main problem (other than prohibitive avian logistics) is that as the surplus lift per bird decreases, the required number of birds and weight of chariot goes up, causing surplus lift per bird to decrease.
This is what makes having a lightweight rider critical, as in horse racing.-- Laughs Last, Jul 05 2004 As featured in "James and the Giant Peach" by Roald Dahl?-- squeak, Jul 06 2004 This is a great idea: I'd love to see a poor parrot slaving bastard covered in poo.-- Pericles, Jul 06 2004 random, halfbakery