I am growing more curmudgeonly as I age and remember hearing old folks express this feeling, when I was young, by rattling the news paper, to much effect. I read everything now in the iPhone and find myself grumbling and cursing at almost every new piece if news I come across, but have no way to express my rage non-linguistically from inside of the medium, the way paper-rattling so effectively does. Solution? An iPhone app that uses the gyroscope to deliver a dynamic and expressive paper-rattling sound. Ah, bitterness!-- JesusHChrist, Oct 13 2014 Careful! Don't damage the bricks!-- pocmloc, Oct 13 2014 If you're going to be a proper curmudgeon, you need to learn how to say "Harrumph!" without it appearing contrived. A good "Harrumph!" can be used in many situations, even when reading on an electronic device.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 13 2014 + Still a good one here!-- xandram, Oct 15 2014 Carry a magnifying glass too, so you can read the fine print on the Classifieds.-- bungston, Oct 15 2014 You mean the obituaries, that's all that old people read. (bigsleep's comment made me laugh loudly, out).-- blissmiss, Oct 15 2014 I'm heading towards old, and I never read the obituaries. I figure if I die someone will tell me in person.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 16 2014 random, halfbakery