Panic Picnics are emergency picnics, available 24/7 on demand when you're in a panic and simply MUST have a picnic.
If you install the Panic Picnic app on your mobile device, you will be whisked away to a delightful picnic almost the instant the press the last digit on your device or at any bank linked ATM machine. This is your Panic Picnic Pin (PPP number)
Here's how it works: A few extra digits are added by you to your existing universal pin number (as per Panic Pin - see link), but Panic Picnic goes much further. When you insert the PPP code a local team of picnic makers springs into action and quickly prepares your picnic of choice that you will have already preselected along with a preferred location.
Your current whereabouts are of course known, so the Panic Picnic team has no trouble locating you. This could be anywhere. For example, in a busy supermarket carpark, or on a bus stuck in traffic or leaving the library. Your vehicle of choice (another preselection) comes to get you and takes you to your delightful picnic where local friends who have also signed up will have been contacted to join you to enjoy your Panic Picnic.
Extra subscriptions naturally bring more options, for example a strumming musician, or the services of a vigilant fly swatter.
Ultra Panic Picnic features: hand embroidered heated blankets; an array of portable heatlamps for a cold day; wind deflectors; portable sturdy shelter with airconditioning if it's too warm and discrete minders to ensure total privacy by chasing away the sweaty masses etc etc-- xenzag, Apr 21 2022 Panic_20PIN [xenzag, Apr 21 2022] Picnic therapy https://ct.counseli...a-therapeutic-tool/ [doctorremulac3, Apr 22 2022] yellow jackets or wasps https://images.app....l/bKdFNNUBoqqrA6TK9 [xandram, Apr 23 2022] Wasp & Hornet. https://www.gopests...Size-Comparison.jpgCorrectly labelled images for UK-English names. [Skewed, Apr 23 2022] brown wasps https://www.pestwor...nsects/paper-wasps/ [xandram, Apr 24 2022] Deleted and reposted due to strange line spacing fault I couldn't clear.-- xenzag, Apr 21 2022 So, basically Uber, I understand they do both taxis & deliver food, just put them on fast dial, that should do the trick surely.-- Skewed, Apr 21 2022 Have you ever been to a real picnic?-- xenzag, Apr 21 2022 Its outside, there's food, then it's a picnic .. blanket, basket & additional people are optional extras, traditional for some, talking bears occasionally show up & steal the basket so best not to have one in my view, yes, once or twice, there were ants, they didn't taste nice, never could figure out why anyone would bother to bring them, the sandwiches were better.-- Skewed, Apr 21 2022 A flask of tea is an essential component of an any picnic. When I was a child my parents were poor so our picnics featured sugar sandwiches... ie slices of bread and butter with sugar sprinkled on them.-- xenzag, Apr 21 2022 My mother used to have a sugar sandwich as a naughtiness-- pocmloc, Apr 21 2022 ceste la vie-- Voice, Apr 21 2022 There was a cartoon I saw when I was wee, the protagonist (maybe Bugs Bunny) had a bundle wrapped up in a checked cloth. He flipped the cloth throwing all the contents into the air, and spread the cloth as a picnic rug. The contents fell down onto the rug in sequence, plates and cutlery first and then food, to assemble a perfect picnic.-- pocmloc, Apr 21 2022 I love sugar sandwiches and always thought they
were a treat!
Also I think picnics are very spontaneous unless they are planned of course.-- xandram, Apr 21 2022 (+) This would be a great side line for existing catering companies to provide.-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Apr 21 2022 //spontaneous//
[Cocks head to one side & looks at [xan]]
Make the food, pack it, choose a destination, travel to said destination, unpack food.
[Ponders]
Not really all that spontaneous to be fair.
[Pauses]
[Considers previous words]
[Wonders how he's channelling mother, she's not even dead yet]
[Shakes head]
Though it could be if you've enough servants on hand but not for most of us, though I suppose something like this could make it somewhat more so for the plebs who don't have adequate household staff (plus pantry space for premade picnic baskets of course) to enable picnics as a truly spontaneous event for them.
OK I know I said //Its outside, there's food, then it's a picnic//, there is a chance I was being a smidge too facetious, snacking on a Marathon bar (yes yes I know, they've not been called that for decades, I still refuse to use the new name) in one hand while you wander down the street doesn't really qualify after all.-- Skewed, Apr 22 2022 I meant spontaneous like “ hey let’s go on a
picnic” and then just grab a bunch of stuff to eat
and go somewhere fun like a waterfall or a park.
Where as a planned picnic, In my mind is where
you set a date and time and a destination and
then make your food to bring.-- xandram, Apr 22 2022 Well, I guess there are different grades of spontaneous.-- Skewed, Apr 22 2022 You can also compromise on your definition of picnic to be more spontaneous. Grab the food from the fast-food, takeout, or delivery restaurant of your choice and budget on the way there.-- Voice, Apr 22 2022 Hmm. Looks like picnics might be good for stress therapy. Makes sense. (link)-- doctorremulac3, Apr 22 2022 //fast-food, takeout, or delivery restaurant//
Oh no.
[Sniffs]
That just won't do.
If there are no teeny tiny triangular white bread cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off to be held and nibbled in a suitably effete fashion its simply not a legitimate picnic.
Darjeeling in fine china to be held in the other hand with the little finger extended at the appropriate angle is another must.
It simply can't be called a picnic without them.-- Skewed, Apr 22 2022 So the halfbakery spontaneously double spaced my
anno after I edited it For a spelling error. I tried to
fix
it twice. Panic-anno.
hey [doc3] loved the picnic link, especially about
nude picnicking in France. I guess why that’s why
they say they wear no underpants.-- xandram, Apr 22 2022 Not sure they even HAVE underwear in France.-- doctorremulac3, Apr 22 2022 IMO it's not a proper picnic if you haven't spread a blanket out on a grassy field or flat rock. I'm surprised not to find a complete picnic set sold in a wicker basket. It would have a blanket, food, trash bags, utensils, and so forth.-- Voice, Apr 22 2022 by "and so forth" I assume you mean spare underpants. Especially if there's a lot of hot sauce involved.-- doctorremulac3, Apr 22 2022 //IMO it's not a proper picnic if you haven't// had to fight off the ants. Or the yellowjackets. (If you're north american, you probably know what those are. If you're not, you probably don't, and I'm not sure if that's because you don't have yellowjackets, or if they don't attend your picnics, or if you just call them something else.)-- lurch, Apr 22 2022 // It simply can't be called a picnic without them //
And don't forget the small, lemon-soaked paper napkins for your comfort, refreshment and hygiene. Hey, if they were good enough for passengers on Frogstar they're good enough for Earthlings.
[+]-- whatrock, Apr 22 2022 //surprised not to find a complete picnic set sold in a wicker basket//
We tried that a few years back, never solved the problem of getting the field or rock into a reasonably sized basket.-- Skewed, Apr 22 2022 //don't forget the small, lemon-soaked paper napkins//
Paper? how very pedestrian, they should be finest linen embroidered with your initials.-- Skewed, Apr 22 2022 //yellowjackets//
I believe we call them wasps [Googles] .. yes, that would be it.-- Skewed, Apr 22 2022 //embroidered with your initials// Ah the nouveau riche. If you had any class they would be embroidered with the initials of your great-grandfather who originally set out the specially-designed picnic landscape on part of your estates.-- pocmloc, Apr 23 2022 Great-grandfather Feloniously Egregious Skewed the 4th you mean? naturally, the name is handed down, saves a bundle on new embroidery.-- Skewed, Apr 23 2022 I don't think it was at all natural actually-- pocmloc, Apr 23 2022 Not at all? now that's a bit harsh, the family may have dabbled a bit, but only a little, an extra thumb here, a spare kidney there, some decorative stitching, still .. 'mostly' natural.-- Skewed, Apr 23 2022 Oh! Hello Igor.-- Voice, Apr 23 2022 Great-great-grandmas maiden name, we've not spoken to anyone from that side of the family for years.-- Skewed, Apr 23 2022 "Hello" is a very unusual given name, for obvious reasons. "Oh!" is probably even rarer.-- pocmloc, Apr 23 2022 It was an odd family, I did say it had been years since we spoke to them, probably for the best.-- Skewed, Apr 23 2022 [Skewed] I don’t believe that yellow jackets are
the same as wasps. They
are very yellow with black stripes and they are
very mean and angry . Anyway our wasps Are
not the same as yellow jackets.
I posted a link, but the wasp in this picture does
have yellow and black stripes, whereas the wasps
we have are solid brown. Neither of them are good
on a picnic!-- xandram, Apr 23 2022 Why is the hb formatting my annos like this?-- xandram, Apr 23 2022 Most of those titled as yellow jackets in your links pictures [xan] are just common wasps (yellow & black striped) that we simply call 'wasps' in the UK.
Though at least one picture shows a wasp next to a hornet (larger, with orange & black stripes) & calls the hornet a yellow jacket & the wasp a wasp.
OK, to make it clear for you here's a [link] with a wasp & hornet labelled correctly as what we call them in the UK.
That should clear it up?-- Skewed, Apr 23 2022 Yellow jackets are what you wear when directing traffic. Wasps are very easily distinguished from yellow jackets. Firstly they are considerably smaller and secondly are more interested in buzzing around jam sandwiches than waving their arms around at cars and buses. Hope this finally clears up this particular identification confusion. Tyres and tires will be next, followed by nuclear and nucular.-- xenzag, Apr 23 2022 @Thanks [Skewed] I do see that your wasps look the same as yellow jackets. I posted a link as to what my wasps look like. I guess there are regional differences.Always something to learn here.-- xandram, Apr 23 2022 random, halfbakery