Business: Workplace: Nature
Octopus slave labor   (+5, -1)  [vote for, against]
Underwater sweatshop, garment-worker molluscs

If octopus is about as intelligent as a child, couldn't they be trained to run production equipment? They'd work for cheap, making sports shoes, pay them in raw shrimp[1]. But maybe it's hard to get the salt water out of new sneakers, so a better business model would be the garment industry. Just pass the finished products through normal wash/dry cycle. Boom, done.

Problem is that octopus doesn't live long, so you'd want to spend years in breeding for longer lives (or cross them with that one species that lives decades.) What would octopus civilization be like, if each one lived far longer than a human? Almost as good as creating cats with opposable thumbs!

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[1] live crab as xmas bonus!
-- wbeaty, Aug 02 2022

Observations Learning in Octopus Vulgaris https://go.gale.com...s=abs&issn=00368075
Octopode training videos, octopus see, octopus do! 1992 Science V256 #5056 [wbeaty, Aug 02 2022]

They're out! https://www.youtube...us+crawling+on+land
Videos of octopi out of water [neutrinos_shadow, Aug 03 2022]

Children are probably cheaper to employ, requiring a lower standard of care and with looser welfare and rights legislation.
-- pocmloc, Aug 02 2022


If there was any dangerous processes involved in the work, would they be described as octupational hazards?
-- xenzag, Aug 02 2022


//octopus doesn't live long// Since octopuses are such smarty-pantses in general, this may be a '27 Club' case of shortened lifespan due to hard living, taking chances, crazy risk behaviour. The hard drive of the average octo-brain may just burn out from excitement and overuse. Octopuses that manage to live a long time have probably found the equivalent of the Beatles guru, transcendental meditation on an undersea mountaintop.

Also, enslaving intelligent beings is very bad karma.
-- Sgt Teacup, Aug 02 2022


AS they are pretty much a liquid, in that they can squeeze through just about anything, we could start off by teaching them to find survivors in collapsed wreckage.
They would be much better at it than rats.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 02 2022


So the plan here [2F] is 1. Build watertight retaining wall around collapsed wreckage. 2. Flood collapsed wreckage with sea water. 3. Introduce crack team of trained octopussess to search for survivors.
-- pocmloc, Aug 03 2022


+ Good idea but I don’t think they sweat.
-- xandram, Aug 03 2022


[pocmloc]; some octopi are quite happy to wander around (briefly) on land. It is both awesome & creepy.
-- neutrinos_shadow, Aug 03 2022


WORK NOTICE: WHOMEVER IS RUINING SHIRTS BY SPRAYING INK ON THEM IS ONLY FORCING EVERYONE TO WORK LONGER HOURS AS OUR QUOTA WILL NOT CHANGE.

The Management.
-- RayfordSteele, Aug 05 2022



random, halfbakery