Most baguettes are 26 inches long. Some are even longer. None will fit into the average domestic toaster.
A toaster big enough to receive a piece of bread over two feet in length would also occupy quite a bit of space in a small kitchen, yet a freshly toasted baguette is a particular delight.
There is a now a solution to all of these problems:Nelson's Column Toaster
As the name suggests, this toaster is a replica model of the famous Nelson's Column of Trafalgar Square. ie it stands vertically and has a small Nelson figure on top. This means it doesn't require a lot of room. The main column opens up into two halfs, to allow the upright insertion of a long baguette that's been split down the middle.
All of the controls are located on the various parts of the Nelson figure re on/off/toasting time etc.
When the toast is ready, the column springs open with a little patriotic fanfare, and the oh so French bread emerges fully toasted courtesy of our hero Lord Nelson.-- xenzag, Jan 09 2021 Nelson's Column https://en.wikipedi..._Square,_London.JPGnow toasting baguettes [xenzag, Jan 09 2021] Classic "Not The Nine O'Clock News" https://www.youtube...watch?v=srPdl2nZB84Symbolic rather than representational ... [8th of 7, Jan 09 2021] Can it be configured to cook french poultry ? After all, Admiral the Lord Nelson cooked their goose ...
And we would like a Saturn V version.-- 8th of 7, Jan 09 2021 The Saturn V5 was my first proposal, but I rewrote it in line with the added irony of repeatedly giving the French a second roasting.-- xenzag, Jan 09 2021 Sp. "french".
A range of styles is indicated.
Perhaps a "Washington Monument" version could be offered, too.-- 8th of 7, Jan 09 2021 // two halfs // perhaps Sp. "two halves"
A life-sized toaster might indeed feed the entire Royal Navy in a single sitting.-- whatrock, Jan 09 2021 + well yes I really need that! i used to have a toaster oven which fit Larger slices of bread, but I got a regular toaster and have turn long bread over and put it in again. This would definitely solve the issue.-- xandram, Jan 17 2021 // added irony of repeatedly giving the French a second roasting. //
+-- DenholmRicshaw, Jan 17 2021 random, halfbakery