Scene: You walk into Circuit City with this Ivan the Terrible Crown on and somebody asks you why you are wearing it, as you are not a Tsar. So you take the crown off, twist the cross at the top to wind it up, and it starts playing Jeroen Tel's "Alloyrun". You then change a cylinder inside it with one in your pocket, wind it up, and it plays Rob Hubbard's Commando.-- Amishman35, Sep 09 2002 Monomakh http://heraldry.hob...u/pict/monomakh.jpgThat's it. [waugsqueke, Sep 10 2002] I have absolutely no idea what this is about, but I'm laughing all the same. +-- calum, Sep 09 2002 It's about a Victrola built into a crown-shaped hat.-- angel, Sep 09 2002 If not a tsar then are you a quasar?-- FarmerJohn, Sep 09 2002 That level of creativity is why I consider myself only a pseudo-surrealist. Croissant for the funniest thing I've seen here all month.-- RayfordSteele, Sep 09 2002 "Hen-er-ee the eighth I am I am!"-- nick_n_uit, Sep 10 2002 leave it to the Amish to find new uses for technology....-- Marassa, Sep 10 2002 Since they stopped using Tsar-recognition software on the entry door cameras at Circuit City (bad PR move, really), they have to rely on their observant employees.-- waugsqueke, Sep 10 2002 Mabye the cylinder, instead of having pins, would have a 500 LPI groove on it, and the crown will have a phonograph to play it, therefore you can play analog music as well. The crown looks like Krem19.jpg on Google image search. Also if you search for monomakh on Google you will get a nicer picture with a blue background.-- Amishman35, Sep 10 2002 But why, that's what I'm asking myself? In this digital age, you're talking about a wind-up record player on your head? Just so you can prove you're not a toff???-- PeterSilly, Sep 10 2002 Craftmanship...Thats why. If proper watches can be clockwork, so can this hat (?).-- Jinbish, Sep 10 2002 I would have sworn, right up until I read the first few annotations, that this was 'Musical Ivan the Terrible Clown'. Would have made more sense...-- StarChaser, Sep 11 2002 I had the same thought. Must admit, am slightly disappointed.-- hidden truths, Apr 25 2005 I thought this idea was "Musical Ivan the Terrible Clown," which would be something different entirely.-- finrod, Apr 25 2005 That seems to be the common thread here. [+] for the extensive abstractism for the (long-gone?) Amishman35.-- hidden truths, Apr 25 2005 random, halfbakery