New from BorgCo Labs, an improved product for those who dislike being bitten by mosquitoes.

The product comes in two nearly identical spraycans.

One can contains a powerful mosquito repellent chermical.

The other contains a blend of powerful mosquito attractant chemicals.

When setting out for a walk in the woods, spray yourself with the first can; offer the second can to your companion(s).

They will be impressed by your apparent altruism, and will also receive all the mosquito bites, while you remain unscathed.

Do not get the cans confused.
-- 8th of 7, May 05 2014

I **AM** curious, [8th] --- Did you submit this product for field testing with the entire Borg hive (Oneth of Seven through Eighth of Seven)? And if said field testing occurred, and the entire hive ended up deep in the woods with only YOU "un-beset-upon" by swarms of hungry girlie mosquitoes, did the rest of the Borg hive realize, at that point, they had "taken one for the team?"

Another thing I'm mildly concerned about is female mosquitoes in a forest somewhere on planet Earth using Borg blood to feed and develop their eggs: might this not, in fact, lead to another species of mutant mosquitoes bent on something like, say, world domination? (The advent of killer bees africanizing our honeybee colonies comes to mind)

And finally, might there be a spin-off market for the second can in municipalities with large feral cat populations? (...and for that possible application, I assign one fresh and steaming bun [+]... Of course, I do retain the right to rescind said bun should this application result in mutant feral cats also bent on world domination...)
-- Grogster, May 05 2014


Does it also repel bears?
-- pocmloc, May 05 2014


You could take along a pig. About $100 for an adult pig, spray it with mosquito attractant to take one for the team, and then offer it up to any bears that want to eat you.
-- bs0u0155, May 05 2014


Plus, if there are no bears, you have bacon.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, May 05 2014


[8th of 7], if this is how you treat people who choose to be your companions, what of those who choose to be your enemies? "First assimilate, then mistreat!" -- no wonder the Federation had no interest in joining the Collective....
-- Vernon, May 05 2014


I wonder if, somewhere in the deep history of the solar system, Earth was offered a planet-sized can of Asteroid 'Repellent' by a passing cube.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, May 05 2014


Sp. companion -> victim
-- not_morrison_rm, May 05 2014


I'm surprised [8th] isn't out spraying this on all the cats in the neighborhood.
-- xandram, May 06 2014


What makes you think we aren't ... ?
-- 8th of 7, May 06 2014


Hmm, yes, shaving the cats first would be more efficient. Cuts to Johannes Cabal demanding a certain weight of fresh shaved cat hair for a task, just to annoy the owners of the cats.
-- not_morrison_rm, May 06 2014


Cut to Lt. Aldo Raine demanding one hundred scalps ...
-- 8th of 7, May 07 2014


Just take any of my brothers in law along with you on a field trip. No need to use ANY spray. They attract all the mosquitoes from miles around.
-- pashute, May 07 2014



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