The overworked farmers of the world deserve any chance at a quick buck they can get. The Milkshake Milking Device attaches easily to any cow's teates, like a standard milking machine. When turned, on, the special 'vacuum plungers' vibrate quickly and add flavouring to the extracted milk directly. The milkshake is then pumped along a network of pipes before being deposited in the appropriate flavour collecting tub, which will fast-chill the milkshake, ready for quick dispatch to the nearest fast food emporium.

This could be adapted for use in fast food restaurants which are conveniently located adjacent to dairy farms. When a milkshake is requested, the appropriate flavour cow is milked, with the resultant milkshake being sent through an elaborate pipe sculpture behind the serving counter, accompanied by occasional 'moo' noises for artistic impact.
-- bagel, Oct 07 2002

got milk?

sorry, I tried to stop myself, but I would'nt let me.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 07 2002


Please - not "adjacent to". Make that "a reasonable distance upwind of".
-- lurch, Oct 07 2002


Or each customer has a long, chilled, teat-specific straw.
-- FarmerJohn, Oct 07 2002


For real time-savings, perhaps you could combine the whole thing with a cow-catcher?
-- DrCurry, Oct 07 2002


Fine, as long as the usual selection of "Milk plus - milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom which ..... would sharpen you up, and make you ready for a bit of the old Ultra-Violence" is available at all outlets for no extra charge ........
-- 8th of 7, Oct 07 2002


Sounds like something halfbaked: a clockwork orange.
-- FarmerJohn, Oct 07 2002


Come on, cut a newbie some slack. Although I'm not sure I like the idea of my milkshake being delivered with a 'moo' it sounds quite good in theory. The only problem being that it's not entirely nice for the cows to be permenently milked in this way. Could you do the same for a tea and coffee machine? Or even have milk frothers for cappucino attached to the teats?
-- Miss Weston Smith, Oct 08 2002


Welcome home miss. good to see ya.
-- blissmiss, Oct 08 2002


hmm...maybe not the most practical idea then. Although I'm intrigued by the possibility of changeable 'plungers'. The MMD could come with a bag full of attachements for tea, coffee, yoghurt, cereal, or maybe even cheesecake (sorry, that was silly).

It sounds to me like the MMD needs to intergrated with some kind of homing-device, so it can find a cow and milk it autonomously. This saves the cow waiting half-milked, although I feel this may be rather difficult technologically (I see newspaper stories of fences or dogs being milked).
-- bagel, Oct 08 2002



random, halfbakery