At this time of year 'ingestion' is the buzz word for holiday gatherings - whether its 8 metric kilos of sweets, cakes, seafood, turkey, pudding etc - or it's the small moving parts of toys that children seem fond of chewing upon.

The Mery Stomach Pump, ornately decorated in green and red with an amusing image of each member of the nativity scene barfing in holy unison - should be kept somewhere close to the dining table or in a special case under the tree.

Grandpa's fifth mince pie has gone down the wrong way and the gasping sound is drowning out the carolling around the piano? A few quick manual pumps to bring the contents of his stomach onto the rug and you're straight back into Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer before the end of the third chorus.
-- benfrost, Dec 25 2004

Or for 2 pots of vagina jam?
-- energy guy, Dec 25 2004


pots?
-- benfrost, Dec 26 2004


jars?
-- energy guy, Dec 26 2004


Your pot is ajar?
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Dec 26 2004


Sadly, I could have used this yesterday. Although I think after waking up at 5:00pm, most of Christmas Eve's "celebration" had been metabolized into nausea, pain, and a rather massive loss of brain cells.

Kids: stay away from Jagermeister.
-- contracts, Dec 27 2004


the non metric kilo is a little known weight measurement - 'kilos' derived from the latin word for 'fishmonger's paunch' entered our vocabulary only briefly during a short spell of hot weather in December 1465. The term 'i'll have your kilo in salted haddock' did in fact refer to a pounds and ounce measurement in relation to the vendor's belly. The term was quickly dipsosed of after a series of vicious fish to upper body assaults early in 1466 - which gave rise to the commonly used term 'to find a red herring'.
-- benfrost, Dec 28 2004


Benfrost, you seem to have misunderstood. The nonmetric kilo was not derived from a latin word, but a French one. In the 16th century a Mr. Perri Clough, a man of remarkable girth, was selling fish at a discount determined by the difference between his current weight and his weight the previous month. Naturally this state of affairs led to some inspired attempts by fish sellers to fatten him up. Clough's weight's measure was mis-stated as "Kilough's" by someone with a bad Romainain accent and is stuck. The red herring incident was merely used to cover up Mr. Clough's death.
-- Voice, Oct 01 2008



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