It’s a well-known fact that some of the best entertainment is to be had, when dining at a restaurant, drinking too much, and getting confused. You might dispute this, but I have seen people do this too often, so that I assume it must be popular.

In order to simulate this merriment, without the obligatory hangover the next day, I propose the “Maison D’Isorientation”. This is a sophisticated blend of ‘haute-cuisine’ and fun-fair.

The main restaurant hall is a circular, window-less amphitheatre, with the dining area recessed and access by a series of three spiral stair cases. The base of the each staircase is not fixed to the floor, but stands proud by one inch allowing for some low-slung wheels. This allows the dining floor to turn slowly, using a mechanism akin to a rotating stage. About half a revolution per day would make this motion imperceptible, yet have significant effect over the duration of a meal.

Naturally, we should not leave the food unmentioned. Liquids should change colour according to temperature (e.g soup) or wine bottles once opened. For example, the house red wine is actually white, but contains a red food colouring additive that oxidises to become colourless.

The restaurant staff, would be a motley collection of ‘jobbing’ actors, identical twins, transvestites and ex-circus performers. These staff should be highly trained so that can discretely change various props around the room or on tables, ‘sleight of hand’ to swap cutlery for slightly smaller equivalents, etc. A waiter without facial hair, would begin serving later be replaced by his/her twin who has a moustache.

A bar adjacent to the restaurant is also circular and can also rotate discretely when not in use. I propose a white marble bar, with a black barman in a white suit, to start with, then reverse, to complete the effect…
-- riposte, Dec 19 2001

Similar... http://www.halfbake...m/idea/Joke-a-teria
...but less upmarket [riposte, Dec 19 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

A nice addition... http://www.halfbake...-Altering_20Cuisine
[riposte, Dec 19 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

On its way to being baked http://news.excite....8%3A18|reuters.html
[phoenix, Dec 20 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

why does nobody at the halfbakery know the difference between discreet and discrete. Flamin 'eck.

I like this idea. Great for first dates. If they pass this test they'll be good for anything.
-- lewisgirl, Dec 19 2001


My cousin in New Zealand works for a charity and took a group of 'visually impaired' people for a meal in the restaurant at the top of the Skytower in Auckland - a bit pointless really since the main reason is to admire the slendid view. Anyway, the restaurant revolves so that when the guests tap their way to the toilet they come back to find that everything has moved and they stand no chance of finding their way back to their table. Not very PC but apparently very funny.
-- PTS, Dec 19 2001


I think I'll stick with alcohol, combined with hangover-reducing techniques. On the subject of which, it might be nice to have a pub that forces you to drink a pint of water before you go home to bed at night.
-- pottedstu, Dec 19 2001


is the french implication to confuse us even further? or are you trying to be classy? won't wash with me. Like the idea very much but couldn't we have just a small drink to start us off!
-- po, Dec 19 2001


The tables should move in relation to each other as well. When you're seated, you're near the door. By the time you're finished, you're near the kitchen.

Paintings, plants, light fixtures should roam around as well (albeit slowly).
-- phoenix, Dec 19 2001


[po] I considered Maison D'Etre, but thought this was too surreal.

Variation on a theme: for those who need nice views. The restaurant has a bay window overlooking a pleasant view. During the evening the window moves across exposing new sections of glass which are subtly distorted (like lenses) to alter the perspective of landmarks, etc.

Now you can achieve the same effect as halucigen like LCD without risking arrest... However, I have to concede that a small dose of LCD in each wine glass would have the same effect - with coloured lights.
-- riposte, Dec 19 2001


It would be fun to have signs numbering each parking bay. These could be swapped around during the evening...

On leaving the restaurant two staff each standing by an door marked exit. One is the real door the other is a broom cupboard (or maze). One staff member is alway tells the truth, the other always lies. You are only allowed one question... (deja-vu anyone?).

p.s. For the scientists amongst you, the doors will periodically swap, making this a 'double-blind' experiment...
-- marmite, Dec 19 2001


[in my best John Thaw voice] Lew-is . . . of course there are halfbakers who know the diff. 1percent, for one. Whenever I need to know, I ask her. Discreetly.

As for the restaurant, the key thing that must happen is your date will change in appearance and behavior through the evening; if a woman, she could look increasingly fetching -- fuller decolletage, more captivating eyes, glistening hair, all that. Or perhaps worse: her laugh gets more horse-like and the hair in her mole grows an inch an hour.
-- daruma, Dec 20 2001


//LCD in each wine glass... with coloured lights//

Liquid Crystal Display wine-glasses - now that's a half-baked idea. Or did you mean the hallucinogen, LSD - Lysergic Acid? Actually I like the idea either way :->
-- Guy Fox, Dec 20 2001


¯riposte: My guess is you're young enough that alchohol still is a pleasure for you (ever try ecstacy?) and you think this evening out would be cool. Croissant for the spiral staircase on wheels notion!
-- reensure, Dec 20 2001


[GuyFox] Yes, I did mean LSD...

I am also intrigued by the wine glass with LCD panels. Ithink this has potential, either as a smart glass which records how often it has been refilled, or purely decorative - e.g. animated "stained glass" wine glass.

Both ideas would require some battery or solar power, difficult to manage dicreetly ;-) in a transparent object that is used by candlelight.
-- riposte, Dec 20 2001


Some guy already has the chair and place setting parts baked (see link).
-- phoenix, Dec 20 2001


There's a restaurant in Portland, Or. with tables that rotate, or rise and sink, very very slowly and silently. Those in the know steal the food of those who don't.
-- hello_c, Dec 20 2001


[UnaBubba] - touche'.
-- daruma, Dec 20 2001


Sounds like a bad "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," Rod. So, baked, just eat some LSD before you go out to dinner.
-- snarfyguy, Dec 21 2001


Lemme guess... is the place lit by gaslight?
-- juuitchan3, Mar 17 2002


Try their daytime lunch stop: the Salvador Deli.
-- RayfordSteele, Jul 26 2004


This sounds more like an alternative to LSD than alcohol to me. Still, a good time will be had by all.
-- wagster, Jul 27 2004


...and then everyone is suddenly pounded by 100,000 pounds of water.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jul 27 2004


Curses, the duo of pommes frites beat me to le punch!
-- absterge, Jul 27 2004



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