I may have to have a tooth pulled out, and I'd like it to have a decent burial.

If only Macro-Mortia would set up an office near me... I'd be able to browse all of their oddly shaped coffins, each one custom built to take a single unwanted body part, right down to a single tooth, like mine.

I could chose to have a viewing, so that my friends and guests could come and file past the open casket, peering in at the troublesome molar, laying there, partly swathed in its little shroud.

Words of appropriate wisdom would be dutifully imparted to the solemn gathering, outlining the difficult life history of my poor departed tooth: - the chocolate bars it endured, the sugary drinks, the endless coffees, the lack of flossing....

The tiny coffin would be borne to a miniature grave on the back of a remotely controlled toy hearse, the demure resting being place forever remembered by a shrunken dental chart, marking its numbered gap.

Macro-Mortia would handle everything - the obituary notices, the donations to The Gum Lobby, the quarter inch wreaths.

Once a year I could come and plant another painted toothpick to celebrate the life and times of my dearly departed molar.
-- xenzag, Jan 09 2007

random, halfbakery