The Lovecraft Theme Park is dedicated to the bone-chilling locations and occurrences portrayed by the famous author, H.P. Lovecraft, in his literature. This tourist destination is the exact opposite of Disneyland. A waiver must be signed from attendees before entry to waive any lawsuits due to clothing stains, injuries or heart failure. The park includes both a permanent location and a traveling, sea-going version.
This entire park is a house of horrors. The main thoroughfare is mildly creepy, the alleyways and forested paths are moderately hair-raising, while the key locations are a severely scary, pants-wetting fear fest. “Rides” are sometimes optional, usually the guest is instead suddenly grabbed by a monstrosity or dropped through a hidden trapdoor, screaming for their pitiful life. The park is populated by a wide variety of Lovecraftian creatures; costumed, animatronic and projected; the main mascot being the, oh-so-loveable, Spawn of Cthulhu—beware its tentacled and clawed embrace.
THE PERMANENT LOCATION: “MISCATONIC and BEYOND”
Lovecraft’s fixed location is in a remote area not too far from a major city. Desiccated signposts point the way to Lovecraft’s main gate. To keep the tourists in a constant state of mortal fear, its layout and constituent parts are revised regularly. Some buildings are semi-mobile, allowing the maze of streets and passageways to change unexpectedly. Subterranean passages are hidden everywhere. Ghouls and mad Scientists roam throughout, acting alternately as guides and catylysts of doom and despair.
The central locations include: Miscatonic University (Workshop and Information Center), the Witch House Café, the Nameless Island Water Ride, the Dunwich Picnic Grounds, Innsmouth Restaurant and Inn (mind the oddly fishy locals), and Kingsport (featuring the Strange High House in the Mist), intermingled between sets are moldy woods and ancient cemeteries. Further afield are more alien locations such as the Plateau of Leng, the pillars of Irem, the ever-changing Dreamlands and the desolate wastes of Yuggoth.
The atmosphere is frightful as well: distant mad fluting, screaming and guttural growls fill the air, fogs blanket the streets and environs and hunched forms slink in shadows. First time guests are recommended to visit during the day to see the sites…only the foolhardy roam the Lovecraft Theme Park at night!
TRAVELLING SHOW: “THE LOST CITY OF R'LYEH”
If the Lovecraft Park is opposite of Disneyland, R’LYEH is the opposite of Circus de Soule. The traveling show is a huge submersible barge, fitted with inflatable marble and stone looking structures. R’yleh can be special ordered to terrorize a coastal town and appears at whim in the open sea along the way. The Lost City of R’lyeh makes its appearance by rising and inflating cyclopean ruins, monuments and opening psuedo-stone passageways into the open air.
Deep Ones and Spawn of Cthulhu "direct" would-be tourists by relentlessly stalking them through the ruins. Guests that lag behind are caught and dragged into slime-coated subterranean darkness.
At R’lyeh’s center is the colossal tomb of the dead and dreaming Cthulhu, waken him at your peril. Attendees can book passage on R’lyeh, but don’t expect any comfort or pampering. Don't expect to survive with your sanity intact.-- Whirligig, May 02 2006 The Lovecraft Universe http://www.necfiles.org/part2.htm#q24Locations, creatures and characters from the author's books. [Whirligig, May 02 2006] Cthulhu http://www.emf.net/~estephen/cthulhu.gifIts awake you fool! [Whirligig, May 02 2006] Clark Ashton Smith http://www.eldritchdark.com/A major contributor to the Cthulhu Mythos [Whirligig, May 02 2006] Cthursday Cthursday_20and_20ZaturdayObligatory opening day. [DrBob, May 06 2006] The Lava Lamp of Yog-Sothoth The_20Lava_20Lamp_20of_20Yog-SothothLoathsome eldritch self-promotion. [DrWorm, Feb 10 2010] Dagonbytes http://www.dagonbyt...elibrary/lovecraft/The stories [8th of 7, Feb 10 2010] Achmed the Mad's Book of Humorous Cat Stories http://wiki.lspace....umorous_Cat_StoriesVery dangerous .. [8th of 7, Feb 10 2010] Necronomicon http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NecronomiconThe Guide Book for the atraction. [8th of 7, Feb 10 2010] With the Abdul Al Hazred dungeons? I love it!-- zeno, May 02 2006 I like it to, only to the unobservant user, the themepark should look *almost* like any other.
Blasphemous shadows beneath the rides should occasionally gibber, or at least gurgle dankly in ominous anticipation at the thought of consuming the souls of the people waiting oblivious in line.
Occasionally, a child should dissapear, last seen by the shambling and misshapen maintenence staff (who's dank and almost fishlike features are all surprisingly similar to one another) their shifty expressions suggesting they know more than they care to let on.
While in the space beneath the waltzer, a weakly flapping childlike form is hungrily and savagely consumed from within by an inky shadow. Muffled wet slapping sounds, and a blasphemous odour emanating from the creature's ichorous lair the only clues as to the horror that lurks beneath.-- zen_tom, May 02 2006 Has anyone else read Clark Ashton Smith? I loved his short stories as a child, and found him rather more accessible than Lovecraft.-- DrCurry, May 02 2006 You have a good point [DrCurry], the Cthulhu Mythos was a shared undertaking, started by HPL but contributed to greatly by Clark Ashton Smith (and others), [link added]. I could change the theme park title to something less writer specific, but what would still work as a means of luring in the unsuspecting average tourist? Cthulhu seems ominous, maybe a different spelling or a play on "Disneyland"...-- Whirligig, May 02 2006 Shoggoth World?-- zen_tom, May 02 2006 Cathooland?
[zen_tom]'s idea of a deceptivly normal set is good. I'm thinking the central area should be advertised as: "A historical new england setting, idealized with rides and food vendors. Ask for a guidebook, (the 'Necronomicon') to assist you in discovering the isoteric outlying settings... And don't mind that drooling, rubbery-skinned fish vendor, he's just feeling under the weather today." When the eager tourists buys their..ehem..."guidebook" and checks out those funny sounding other places, they are in for a real surprise. [mwhahahaah!]-- Whirligig, May 03 2006 Happy-Happy-Full-Of-Fun Land-- methinksnot, May 03 2006 Hadn't heard of Clark Ashton Smith, thanks.-- zeno, May 04 2006 I'm looking forward to the non-euclidian roller coaster.-- oneoffdave, May 04 2006 Well, [methinksnot], Rin and Stimpy are mighty Cthulhoid. Memories of pimpled posterior close-ups and self-aware flatulence cloud <shudder>. Definitely worthy of placement within Lovecraft's domain. How would HPL or CAS describe those two demented caricatures?-- Whirligig, May 05 2006 Perhaps by describing their less hideous features and their weaknesses to create in the reader an incipient level of empathy. Once that is accomplished, letting their true nature surface. These rides could be used to attract younger patrons.-- methinksnot, May 06 2006 Yyesss <rubbing hands together evily>, that will do nicely.-- Whirligig, May 09 2006 Your hands won't dry unless you bellow: MWAHAHAHAAA-- methinksnot, May 09 2006 Also, there will be no right angles or parallel lines anywhere in the entire construction.
Just to give it that "subtly tearing your eyes out", non-euclidean feel.-- Hive_Mind, Feb 10 2010 The cafeteria menu is going to be interesting.-- 8th of 7, Feb 10 2010 If only Lovecraft had written fiction for adults too.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 10 2010 Like " Achmed the Mad's Book of Humorous Cat Stories" ?
<link>-- 8th of 7, Feb 10 2010 random, halfbakery