So you're dead. There's nothing you can do about it. But what if you want to have your own Elvis-like cult of believers who think that you are still alive, for decades after your death? If posthumous conspiracy theories be your desire, then call the Life After Death funeral service.
Life After Death will arrange a funeral, then bury you quietly without a ceremony in a grave marked with a pseudonym. That's when their real job begins. At your funeral, Life After Death will be sure to put your craziest uncles and cousins in front, right next to your "body". Of course, you won't really be available for display, so Life After Death will instead show the mourners a life- sized wax replica that looks... almost real. They might have it twitch just enough for only the sharpest-eyed viewers to notice, and not enough for them to be sure. Your corpse might even sweat a little.
Life After Death will fabricate evidence suggesting that your death was faked, and then place it so that it will be found by "the kooks". Naturally, the evidence will be convincing to them, but not enough for the authorities. Over the next few years, Life After Death will send lookalikes of you wandering through truck stops, diners and supermarkets. If that isn't enough, a manic blogger will be hired to rant about the fact that your survival was covered up by "The Man". Eventually, you will be a latter-day Elvis with an army of bedraggled hippies claiming your continued existence.-- DrWorm, Apr 17 2010 Chapel of Restaurant Chapel_20of_20RestaurantCould be combined. [8th of 7, Apr 18 2010] Ethermal Resting Place Ethermal_20Resting_20Place [theircompetitor, Apr 20 2010] Shock Coffin shock_20coffincombine ideas? [Voice, Apr 21 2010] Facebook will add a blunt touch to this. http://www.nytimes....8death.html?_r=1&hp [swimswim, Jul 18 2010] Hey, I'd be happy with life before death.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 17 2010 Can I be the blogger? Pleeeaseee....-- Selky, Apr 18 2010 Depends. Who'll be the corpse?-- DrWorm, Apr 18 2010 [+] I imagine the deluxe version would involve founding a religion based on your supposed resurrection. This might work as a tax dodge, in places with heavy estate taxes but where religious organizations are tax exempt.-- mouseposture, Apr 18 2010 // Who'll be the corpse? //
Elvis ...-- 8th of 7, Apr 18 2010 Jim would like this.-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 18 2010 Morrison?-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Apr 19 2010 In all actuality, this is the (spoiler) ending of a book written by Paulo Coelho titled "The Witch of Portobello". So I guess it isn't widely known to exist, except if one has read the book. [ ]-- xandram, Apr 19 2010 [xandram] Well, since the Coelho book is fiction, it wouldn't be widely known to exist even if _The Witch of Portobello_ *were* familiar to everyone. It'd merely be widely known. That would be a legitimate criticism, of course, and ought to have it's own halfbakery jargon term. Maybe WTCTTISITM.-- mouseposture, Apr 20 2010 I suggest a more specific term for anything that exists in a Paulo Coelho book: WTCTTISITPCB.
"That Akbar is totally WTCTTISITPCB".-- DrWorm, Apr 20 2010 Why not just hire someone to jump out of the coffin, and run away so quickly, as to prevent anyone catching up.-- Inyuki, Apr 20 2010 [Inyuki] //Why not ...?// Because there's a competing company, which, for a fee, will station guards 'round the gravesite to catch the fleeing imposter. The deluxe version of *that* includes overhead surveillance by blimp (helicopter'd be too noisy for the funeral) equipped with high powered optics (infra-red available for a small surcharge).-- mouseposture, Apr 20 2010 jetpacks-- pocmloc, Apr 20 2010 quantum assisted teleportation-- xxobot, Apr 21 2010 Hired mercenary helicopter w/ roll down ladder.-- DrWorm, Apr 21 2010 I'd prefer a funeral service that made it seem like my life had been faked. Preacher: "We are gatherd here today to celebrate the life of Frederick Albert Kennedy and to mourn his death. Many of you will no doubt be wondering who on earth is Frederick Albert Kennedy? You may have thought that you were here for the funeral of DrBob, but I'm afraid that you have all been had. There never was any such person as DrBob..." etc.-- DrBob, Apr 21 2010 "... poet, architect, soldier-of-fortune, private detective, mountaineer, Olympic Gold medal skier, championship yachtsman, test pilot, astronaut, multiple Nobel-prize winner, Pioneering surgeon, rescuer of puppies from blazing houses, multi-millionaire statesman, professor of quantum mechanics, big-game hunter, reknowned polar explorer, compulsive liar ..."-- 8th of 7, Apr 21 2010 "...and last heir to the throne of all the Russias."-- DrBob, Apr 22 2010 Oh come on, you're making that one up ... aren't you ?-- 8th of 7, Apr 22 2010 //I imagine the deluxe version would involve founding a religion based on your supposed resurrection.//
With sufficent funds, millions might one day worship DrWorm.-- ldischler, Jul 18 2010 [8th_of_7]//you're making that one up// According to the _Kind Hearts & Coronets_ principle, when you've assimilated *everybody* you'll be, ipso facto, Heir to the Throne of All the Russias.
(also Prince von und zu Liechtenstein, Duke of Troppau and Jagerndorf, Count of Rietberg, Ostfriesland and Vaduz, Lord of the Kuenringe, Schellenberg, Feldsberg, Kromau and Ostrau, und so weiter)-- mouseposture, Jul 18 2010 I died several years ago.-- xenzag, Jul 18 2010 Yes, what a shame it hasn't stopped you posting on the HB.-- 8th of 7, Jul 18 2010 ...and here I thought I'd only need one more clean shirt...-- Grogster, Jul 18 2010 Alternative method: closed-casket funeral, and hire a body double to wear a large hat, trenchcoat, and sunglasses in the back of the funeral hall and furtively slip out the back door before the service is over.-- 5th Earth, Jul 19 2010 //Yes, what a shame it hasn't stopped you posting on the HB// All pre-programmed, just like this is.-- xenzag, Jul 19 2010 random, halfbakery