Koala bears are cute and cuddly, even if they're not actually bears.

Sometimes there are bush fires, and sadly, being slow moving and rather dim, lots of koalas die.

Because they are slow-moving, it is easy for humans to pick them up and carry them to safety; however, being picked up is often so stressful to a wild koala that they literally die of fright or shock (check it out, it's true).

Solution: the Koala Scuttle. The Koala Scuttle is a large scoop make of tough, washable hypoalergenic plastic. The interior has lots of attachment points for Eucalyptus branches (The koala's principal food source). Prior to use, the scuttle is lined with fresh branches; the user then scoops up the koala who ends up is a seemingly "natural" environment.

Having transported the little chap to a safe distance from the fire, the scuttle is tipped up and the koala wanders off in search of food, having never come into contact witha human and thus being spared the shock of being picked up.......
-- 8th of 7, Dec 07 2007

Lesbian koalas. http://koalas.org/lesbian.html
Stressed- out female koalas become homosexual in captivity. [pyggy potamus, Dec 08 2007]

Put out the fire Galah Extinguisher
Tenuously related self-promotion [theleopard, Dec 08 2007]

// tourist souvenirs of charred koalas, embedded in melted plastic blobs //

Eeeewwww horrid..... poor little koalas.

Cats, now ...

[custard], you are suspected of being of Antipodean extraction ... we are right about the whole "koalas dying from shock" thing, aren't we ? We read an article on bush fires and that stuck ...

Well, we read an article on arson. It just happened to mention bush fires.
-- 8th of 7, Dec 07 2007


Could they instead be given a tasty barbecue coating just before they're engulfed?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 07 2007


Well, swan crap is pretty foul too - so I'm not sure your theory holds true.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 07 2007


//Well, swan crap is pretty foul too - so I'm not sure your theory holds true//
Are you implying that you have tasted swan?
Does Her Maj know this?
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Dec 08 2007


I'm not sure if the Bursar has to inform Her on each and every occasion.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 08 2007


Tough? Have you spoken to the chef?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 08 2007



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