Knitted from the finest leather, which in turn is harvested from the private emu herd of Gianni Versace, this dainty yet bold handbag makes the perfect statement.
Inbeknownst to the casual observer, what appears to be a handle is actually a tubular extension of the handbag's body, which loops around only to re-enter the body and then open out again on the underside of the bag.
Anyone familiar with Klein bottles will of course recognise this as a Klein bottle.
Because of this clever design, it becomes not only possible but inevitable that all items will be present in the handbag at all times, thus solving one of the most pressing problems facing mankind.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 11 2015 We're starting our pub crawl here Mobius_20Strip_20Club [theircompetitor, Aug 14 2015] I know some pretty advanced Knitters... https://en.wikipedi...g/wiki/The_Knitters [normzone, Aug 14 2015] // As [8th] did not rise to the bait... //
That's because product R&D are hard at work on another topological paradox item; a möbius strip gag...
// all items will be present in the handbag at all times //
So women can drag the entire Universe round with them. Great. Just great. You must be SO proud.
// mankind //
One of the numerous pressing problems facing womankind, along with "Where are my car keys ?", "I haven't got anything to wear", "But I can't walk in these shoes" and "Does my bum look big in this ?"-- 8th of 7, Aug 11 2015 //Great. Just great. You must be SO proud.//
The thing is, [8th], that when you find yourself fifty miles from nowhere on a unicycle in the desert, and you discover that the 13/23rds-of-an-inch cotter pin has worked lose from the crank and got lost, as long as there's a woman with a handbag nearby you can pretty much guarantee that she'll have a spare one in there.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 11 2015 Also, in case you ever _do_ meet a woman, I should advise you that the answer to the last of your questions is _always_ "no".-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 11 2015 //in case you ever _do_ meet a woman// you're wasting your effort, with advice like that.-- pocmloc, Aug 11 2015 Possible ads:
Pursed lips do not sink ships.
A handbag with it's own forklift.
Kleinbag lite when you just need a few things.
Spelunking lights and crampons included.
Any color you want as long as its all of them.
That was no handbag, that was my wife.
Included steam iron means you'll have no pressing problems.-- popbottle, Aug 12 2015 Can a Klein bottle contain every other Klein bottle?-- RayfordSteele, Aug 12 2015 The mathematical Klein bottle contains all Klein bottles.-- wjt, Aug 14 2015 //The mathematical Klein bottle contains all Klein bottles.//
Ah. That may explain the problem that our sales team have had. We sold one to a lady in Wikhampstead, and immediately afterwards our computer system told us that we had none left in stock.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 14 2015 Surely they would all still be in stock?-- pocmloc, Aug 14 2015 Last time we checked, they were all owned by a lady in Wikhampstead. As was our manufacturing facility, Europe, and every living panda.
We currently have a vacancy for an assistant topologist.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 14 2015 I though you already were employing every qualified mathematician in the world?-- pocmloc, Aug 14 2015 I know some pretty advanced knitters, but I have yet to meet any that can manage the 4th dimension required to keep the 2d surface from intersecting in the 3rd dimension. Where did you find them?-- MechE, Aug 14 2015 //I though you already were employing every qualified mathematician in the world?//
Exactly. None of them would want to be known as an "assistant" topologist. And, since the implications of the Kleinbag became known to senior management, we find ourselves with a vacant position.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 14 2015 // Where did you find them? //
At the point where two infinitely long parallel lines join, of course.-- 8th of 7, Aug 14 2015 The idea that parallel lines never meet is a grave misconception. They are just secretive, and therefore never meet in public.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 14 2015 Technically, yes.
Also, if you put a microphone in a Kleinbag, _all_ trees make a noise when they fall.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 14 2015 But would the mime be trapped by it?-- RayfordSteele, Aug 14 2015 Curiously, mimes appear to be the only matter which is _always_ on the outside of a Klein bottle.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 14 2015 What is outside of a klien bottle? A gross bottle.-- pocmloc, Aug 15 2015 a bluebottle-- xenzag, Aug 15 2015 //A Calvin bottle// You are thinking of the Hobbs's Stopper, which seals the opening by extending to infinity in all directions.-- pocmloc, Aug 15 2015 The task: Find the shortest possible rope to enclose this herd of sheep.
The physicist sets a 100 meter rope in a perfect circle around the herd and claims that scientifically this is the shortest rope possible with which to enclose the herd with.
The engineer builds a contraption whereby some of the sheep get to stand above the others, after some trial and error claims that from an engineering perspective this length of rope, almost half of the physicist's rope, is the shortest rope possible with which to enclose the herd with.
The mathematician takes a small piece of rope ties it around himself and proclaims: I'm outside.-- pashute, Aug 15 2015 Multidimensional miming could be entertaining to watch.-- RayfordSteele, Aug 15 2015 Um... [Max]... might this also serve as a colostomy bag?-- Grogster, Aug 18 2015 random, halfbakery