Jeremy Clarkson is a British journalist who loves cars, especially the ultra fast, ultra petrol guzzling variety. This love of cars is matched by a self professed hatred of environmentalists, one of whom recently smeared his face with a custard pie at a University presentation ceremony - no one volunteered to lick it off.
At The Jeremy Clarkson Custard Gladiators School, candidates would learn safe, non injurious, effective methods of attacking adversaries using a variety of harmless products, with various scenarios set up for rehearsal purposes. Eventually sleeper teams of expert custard pie throwing gladiators would lie dormant in every city - ready and willing to strike without warning when the perfect opportunity for maximum publicity and effect presented itself.-- xenzag, Jan 05 2006 Jeremy Clarkson http://en.wikipedia...iki/Jeremy_Clarkson [zen_tom, Jan 05 2006] Biotic Baking Brigade http://bioticbaking...org/bbbgallery.html [po, Jan 05 2006] The whole point of throwing harmless items is that no special technique is needed. Because they are harmless. Better to have a school for teaching lethal techniques of pie throwing.-- ldischler, Jan 05 2006 oh - ok then - bricks, and other nefarious throwable objects, disguised as custard pies - (see my Brick-nik Hamper for the sister of this idea)-- xenzag, Jan 05 2006 A school for teaching the safe throwing of bricks disguised as pies?-- ldischler, Jan 05 2006 Anytime I throw a brick at someone, I usually have no regard whatsoever for their safety.-- DVineMissEva, Jan 05 2006 Sure, D Vine, you’re not interested in THEIR safety, but how about your own? Aren't you the least bit concerned about brick blow-back? Those particles of grit that can get in your eye? Or about the hostility of your target if you do not take him down with that first brick. What if there are others traveling with the target who are angered by the brick. Some of those may carry their own bricks. This school teaches the proper way of hurling bricks and then retreating, so that you may hurl again. "Throw it from an overpass next time, boy. And keep your car running."-- ldischler, Jan 05 2006 //The whole point of throwing harmless items is that no special technique is needed.// [ldischler]
Have you ever thrown a Custard Pie? It is actually quite difficult to throw them so that they land with a satisfying splat. As the pie is a disc the aerodynamics mitigate against the pie flying "filling first". A skilled pie flinger will fling the pie in a way to cause the most embarassment for the pie-ee. Sometimes you only get 1 chance to pie your victim, so you have to make it count.-- Minimal, Jan 06 2006 custard pie frisbee perhaps?-- benfrost, Jan 07 2006 Custard pie boomerang. Someone had to suggest it.-- david_scothern, Jan 07 2006 random, halfbakery