Business: Service: Personal: Assistance
Jason and The Arguenots   (+31, -11)  [vote for, against]
anonymous evesdroppers who will support your arguments

Jason and The Arguenots is a service you can engage when you know that you are about to be placed in a situation where no-one else agrees with your point of view.

They are in fact what used to be called "Yes Men", except these are much more insidious. As pre-arranged, Jason and The Arguenots, will hang around at a social gathering and join in any conversation you are having and support your points of view enthusiastically with rigorous logic, no matter how bizarre they are.

Still think the earth is flat ? Don't laugh - a trained member of the Arguenots will interject with an elaborate topological explanation, in total agreement with your mad assertion, which will stun your detractors into silence. Another will butt in with a whispered story of secret CIA navigational charts showing how the world has hidden edges which must be avoided at all cost.

Think the moon is made of green cheese ? An Arguenot just happens to have an authenticated NASA sample in his pocket and has seen the Kraft lunar mining rights document.

Expert in every discipline as well as being good actors, Jason and The Arguenots are just waiting for your call.

"Hello ? "Yes" - "Does anyone know about the race of talking naked mole rats that's just been discovered?" - "Could you call back please in half an hour - Jason is underground at the moment checking on the validity of a report......"
-- xenzag, Mar 01 2007

Naked Mole Rats http://nationalzoo....3/nakedmolerats.cfm
did you know that they can talk ? [xenzag, Mar 01 2007]

Asch conformity experiments http://en.wikipedia...formity_experiments
Sounds like an application for these guys [zen_tom, Mar 01 2007]

Or the opposite http://www.youtube....watch?v=J3Ts1EUsNWY
[Ronx, Mar 02 2007]

"make the weaker argument defeat the stronger" http://people2.hsc....texts/socrates.shtm
See the paragraph on 'Sophists'. [pertinax, Jun 20 2007]

Little Known Fact Service Little_20Known_20Fact_20Service
This same halfbakery idea, online, that mysteriously got a poor review [macncheesy, Jun 20 2007]

I think I need them on retainer ... and without any argument, your croissant.
-- batou, Mar 01 2007


I think this is a terrible and uninspired idea.

<waits...>
-- wagster, Mar 01 2007


Baked. The Bush administration has had these clowns on staff for 6 years.
-- nuclear hobo, Mar 01 2007


I think I am capable of being one of the argunauts, I don't think it will be as you describe with rigourous logic since that is technically not possible unless you are right. I however have explored arguements to their very ends. I am familiar with very many arguements that a lot of people cannot see their way through.

Generally speaking the more commonly accepted something is the less effort anyone has put into proving it. If you have explored it to the end many times the trouble is often just getting people to engage you.

There are arguements that they will be of little assistance on if you go to shallow when wrong. If you plan on using their service you might want to call ahead and get your topic approved/consulted on and they could suggest proper inflamitory comments to get the ball rolling. Probably all you need is some actual conviction for your arguement to fall into this category anyway.

I was going to suggest that you might want to practice arguing with them first. But you can generally find a format to do that already. Here for example if it fits the format.

I am not sure if you completely meant this as a spoof but I don't think it is a bad idea at all. [+]
-- MercuryNotMars, Mar 01 2007


I'll handle all the "hollow earth" theories. Yep, big hole 800 miles wide at the poles. NASA satellites prove it. That's where the flying saucers come from ya know.
-- ye_river_xiv, Mar 01 2007


Or you could have them initially disagree with you with feeble arguments, and then be persuaded to your way of thinking (a la Plato or the people from late night commercials). Devil's advo-rates.
-- xaviergisz, Mar 02 2007


This idea is scary - [xenzag] Far too many times have I been confronted, and thwarted by my very own Jasons, and their ever present band of baying Arguenots.

<tenously relvant factoid>A large community of Huguenots, having fled persecution from France in the 18th Century, settled in Shoreditch, London where they pretty much established the East End textile industry.</trf>
-- zen_tom, Mar 02 2007


Not same idea [DrBob]. Read again. Not moral support for your halfbaked ideas but intellectual support for your beliefs in existing matters, such as Bermuda Rectangle (see what I mean - most people think it's a triangle, but not Jason And The Arguenots.)
-- xenzag, Mar 02 2007


So many buns, so many sycophants.
-- Noexit, Mar 02 2007


Actually, I think it's bright, if not brilliant. Especially for a half baked idea.
-- monk, Mar 02 2007


This idea is absolute drivel. For your arguenot to be fully prepared to defend your preposterous statements, he'd need to know what you were going to be arguing about. And staging an argument purely so you can win without being correct is just really sad.

Nods subtly at [wagster].

Not at all [bigsleep], a lawyer will present your version of events in court, but good luck trying to get one to back you up in a disagreement at the pub.
-- hidden truths, Mar 03 2007


Pure brilliance!
-- placid_turmoil, Mar 03 2007


[admin: I'm going along with xenzag's point about intellectual/factual vs. emotional support.]
-- jutta, Jun 15 2007


oh fck, I've lost my brain.

help!
-- po, Jun 15 2007


I'll watch for it and let you know if I see it.

[xaviergisz], I'm all with you on the Bermuda Rectangle.

What most people don't understand, is that there are two Bermuda Triangles ( same size but not equilateral ) placed together so as to form a rectangle.
-- normzone, Jun 15 2007


The Arguenots should be equipped with invisible microphones and ear buds, when the Arguenot joins your conversation, the conversation is relayed back to Headquarters where teams of highly skilled people stand by to assist the Arguenot in his argument, relaying assistance via the ear bud.
-- Quaelex, Jun 16 2007


I am definitly in the "for" camp. Although very good at "devil's advocate" work myself, a backup team that could be called in on short notice with like a "panic button" on your mobile phone to help out would be most welcome. Many times the argument is won on weight of supporters for each side instead of logic, so this would be a useful service. Now think how this could be applied to matramonial disputes. How about Jannet and the "oh I think he is right in this case-naughts"?
-- colinwheeler, Jun 16 2007


-There is quite enough intentional stupidity in the world, thanks.

Those who take nonsensical positions have no need for the service since they embody its intention. Perhaps they know instinctively that the winning of an argument has nothing to do with logic.
-- raytork, Jun 16 2007


What a great idea, (I really mean that, Im not angling for a job on the Arguenots staff!) When my mother in law comes round I could have a "friend" from work drop in and we can argue about how Cliff Richard was in fact a Nazi war criminal who underwent plastic surgery and continued the Neo - Nazi movement under the cover of a clean cut singer. "Yes the song were all going on a summer holiday, is a direct refrence to the final solution...etc etc Then maybe she will stop playing his god awful records!!
-- S-note, Jun 19 2007


@Raytork: How about a half baked idea about sense of humour grafts? ;-)
-- colinwheeler, Jun 19 2007


I need one.
-- twitch, Jun 20 2007


1/2[-] for posting examples of stuff that's ridiculously not true and 1/2[-] for promoting the idea of being followed a team of elaborate liers who could make stuff that makes no sense seem logical!

This is totally unoriginal, for isn't this the type of crap that pyramid schemes, conspiracy theories, and religions are already made of!?
-- quantum_flux, Jun 20 2007


"Hello? Is that Jason and the Arguenots?"
"Yes Sir. How may we argue for you today?"
"Well,"...

"... I see, Mr. Simpson. Please don't worry. We've assigned one of our best agents to deal with your case. Agent Cochrane will organise Operation Glove immediately.
You won't be disappointed."...
-- Jinbish, Jun 20 2007


Nuts! My "Little Known Fact Service" (see link) is the same thing; online though, without the immediate back-you-up personel. Please have your actors subscribe on there blackberrys etc.
-- macncheesy, Jun 20 2007


//Pyramids, conspiracies etc// I think it's important for people to realise, on a deep and personal level - that it's not logical argument that sways people's minds; it's emotive, coersive, inter-personal dynamics that causes a given group of people to take one course of action over another.

Clinging to logic just doesn't cut it (unfortunately) unless you can stand up in front of a group of people and present some authority on the matter (authority bolstered by a few well placed people in the crowd listening and nodding sagely at the right moments)

Unfortunately, since it's advertisers and not logicitians who've been paying Arguenots to provide nods, agreement and general concensus; it's widely held that, for example; Coca-Cola is nice (and fun!) to drink, safety razors are high-tech quality products and not just cheap, mass produced pieces of plastic, iPods are cool, Taco Bell produces food, burgers are enjoyed by all kinds of people, it's ok to overeat (as long as you buy our products!), women are attracted to men with nice shiny cars, men are attracted to women who colour their hair, that banking and insurance products are exciting and valuable comoddities, that talking for hours on your phone is perfectly fine (as long as you chat on our network!), that getting into debt is perfectly laudable thing to do(as long as you clear your debts through our agency!), that acid indegestion isn't just a symptom of having eaten too much food (take our pills!), that 8 out of 10 cats (who expressed a preference) prefer the mechanically recovered meat and ash blend produced by one company over all the others, that some foods are good, jolly wholesome stuff - with a song - and not the industrial product of a sweaty smoke-belching factory, that the lady really does respond sexually to a box of milk-chocolates, or that with these cheap, mass produced sweets, the ambassador really is spoiling us.
-- zen_tom, Jun 20 2007


[zen-tom], you should rap your last anno, and have the arguenots continually nod their heads as sillouettes in the background of your music video.
-- twitch, Jun 20 2007



random, halfbakery