Are you too busy or tired to keep explaining to other people why they are wrong? Do you get in to meaningless internet debates and lose interest, but still regret not having the last word? Do you fantasize about having a random group of people just suddenly show up at your favorite forum with all of the facts and solid arguments to support your poorly thought-out post about a way to reform the tax system?

At last there is a service to help you!

Ruthless, armed with facts and figures and rhetorical devices these skilled internet debaters will reduce your foes to miserable keyboard pounding children with point-by point logical take-down of any argument, no matter how sensible. Trained the the dark arts of subtile trolling, indirect ad-homonym attacks, subject changing, and advanced straw-man construction techniques these skilled intellectual assassins can help you win any argument even when you're dead wrong.

For the right price they will debate for any side in any forum, blog thread, livejournal debate or even the good old' usenet.

Simply visit the discrete, confidential website and name your price and task. Hire a whole raging mob if you wish.

Or perhaps you are ready to debate for pay? Advertise your services as one of the Internet forum Mercenaries!
-- futurebird, Jan 15 2008

Jason's men Jason_20and_20The_20Arguenots
you mean like this? [xenzag, Jan 15 2008]

"Alas, we are surpriz'd !"
-- 8th of 7, Jan 15 2008


Sp. discreet, unless you mean "separate."
-- csea, Jan 15 2008


Shhh! I told you not to advertise anywhere you back me up.
-- vincevincevince, Jan 15 2008


No. And that's five pounds you owe us.
-- 8th of 7, Jan 15 2008


As I live and breathe! Long time, no see [futurebird]!
-- phoenix, Jan 15 2008


Don't see the point of this. I've never been wrong about anything ever...and neither has anyone else that I've ever debated with. Never let mere facts stand in the way of self-belief!
-- DrBob, Jan 15 2008


I love it, an Inernet Spartan. (+)
-- MisterQED, Jan 15 2008


So, a sort of virtual flash mob. Hard to believe that doesn't already exist somewhere, though.
-- DrCurry, Jan 15 2008


Q: What's better than winning an argument on the internet?

A: Not being retarded.
-- nomocrow, Jan 15 2008


Also known as "My illegitimate bun collection." [+]
-- Letsbuildafort, Jan 15 2008


Not a flash mob, a flash hit squad. I'll take two!
-- elhigh, Jan 15 2008


This is an awful idea, this kind of service couldn't possibly exist! NEVER!

And my fee.... [+]
-- Germanicus, Jan 15 2008


Methinks this is a bad idea. People with bad arguements should be proven wrong, if they're wrong.
-- TahuNuva, Jan 16 2008


Go ahead, argue with me. Come on, try it.
-- TahuNuva, Jan 16 2008


The art of intellectual debate should not depend on hired thugs for assistance. The goal is correct answers, not total domination.
-- ye_river_xiv, Jan 16 2008


Hey!
I resemble that remark!
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jan 16 2008


A fairly succinct description of American politics. Hence baked.[-]
-- saxman, Jan 16 2008


Ow! <clutches heart> Ooo! A touch, I confess it. We call them lobbyists, or jerks, depending.
-- elhigh, Jan 16 2008


//will reduce your foes to miserable keyboard pounding children// ... if the desired result is the same as the initial cause, uh... I guess this is just paying somebody else to have the flamewar so you didn't have to be there? Otherwise, I don't get it.
-- lurch, Jan 16 2008


Needs pirates and ninjas, NEPAN.
-- 4whom, Jan 16 2008


Did somebody say Napalm ? We love the smell of Napalm in the morning.....
-- 8th of 7, Jan 16 2008


I love this term: //ad-homonym attacks//

I must find a way to use it somewhere.

- The deal is still up in the air, my friend
- I'm telling you, the deal is sealed, and I'm right!
- You are not, you're somewhere to the left, and you can't even balance a ball on your nose
- Your arguments are nothing but a bunch of ad-homonym attacks.
-- globaltourniquet, Jan 18 2008


subtitle attacks, maybe?
-- DrCurry, Jan 18 2008



random, halfbakery