In order to stage an Insect Vogue event, it is first necessary to collect a diverse range of insects together, so that their garments can be made to match and fit their individual characteristics. Each insect is then carefully photographed and measured, so that the fashion designers have accurate information.
Themes are then decided for the various collections: i.e. sports wear, evening gowns, lingerie, suits and formal, club wear etc. Fashion forecasts will be consulted for colours and fabric trends. Mood boards for the ranges are prepared, and manufacturing quickly follows, with miniature sewing machines buzzing away under powerful magnifiers.
The tiny garments soon emerge, as perfect replicas of their human sized equivalents. Dressing the subjects is a task best left to experts. The insects are first harmlessly tranquillised, then slipped and zipped into their micro outfits.
For the show itself, each insect is released in turn onto a well lit, miniature catwalk, with macro lenses following their every twitch and swivel, occasionally zooming in to focus on a hidden detail. Centipedes will clunk along in a hundred pairs of high-heels, spiders will coyly pose in lacy basques, and praying mantis will stalk along menacingly in sporty hoodies.
Giant screens project the images for audience appreciation, as a commentator expertly describes each outfit in turn. Every garment is for sale in a presentation box, complete with large photographs depicting their proud owners flaunting themselves in catwalk perfection.-- xenzag, Nov 02 2006 Twiggy http://home.swiftds...ray1833/plate6.htmlYou knew this was coming. [ConsulFlaminicus, Nov 02 2006] well, they are not real insects http://www.bcdb.com...-Usual_Insects.html [xandram, Nov 02 2006] How will you ensure that the models follow the catwalk, and don't stray up the walls and along the ceilings? Some sort of sugar trail, maybe?-- moomintroll, Nov 02 2006 Those models have drug problems though - I've seen 'em passin' 'round 'roaches...-- ConsulFlaminicus, Nov 02 2006 Bun for the mental immage you created for me, I can't stop laughing.-- Chefboyrbored, Nov 02 2006 //How will you ensure that the models follow the catwalk// train them of course ! (see my earlier idea for Snail Koans for the method) and even if they do stray a little, the cameras will follow like faithful paparazzi.-- xenzag, Nov 02 2006 Although I think Disney has done things similar to this,(but not with real insects) I'd like to keep the flies in leather skirts off this croissant. +-- xandram, Nov 02 2006 Thinking that xen just wants to make a wasp-waisted pun...-- DrCurry, Nov 02 2006 I've seen a praying mantis wearing a hoodie before...somewhere. I'm 80% sure it was photoshopped though.-- Texticle, Nov 02 2006 Just think how much more attractive that Dogbane Beetle would be sassying along in a cute polka dot ra-ra skirt.-- xenzag, Nov 04 2006 random, halfbakery