College dormitories everywhere seem to suffer from the same vile pox on community living: Ice cream thieves.
These vile beings prowl the commons at night, feeding on the hard-bought ice cream of unsuspecting souls who depend upon the common good of others to leave their prized food in the only place it will stay cold: the community freezer.
A rare few dorms will smile on the slightly felonious booby traps some ice cream owners will install in their desserts to deter demonic thieves. However, the nurse's office will only stay quiet so long about broken teeth, punctured esophagi and poisonings.
Most dorms passively allow these denizens of the underworld to go about their fiendish pleasures unhindered, claiming "Your name must have rubbed off" (Since permanent marker doesn't write well on ice) or simply asking "What can you do?"
Well, it's fairly simple, really. You can lock up the ice cream in an ice cream bag.
Virtucom's upcoming fall lineup of freakishly paranoid security devices includes the all-new ice cream bag. This stylish device, made of colorful plastic coated wire rope and crimped metal rivets resembles a net bag. Customized brass name plates can be attached upon request. The bag is secured by a specially designed drawstring, to which a standard padlock (sold separately) can be attached to lock the bag shut, effectively keeping your ice cream free of anyone community-minded enough not to actually destroy property for a few bits of someone else's cold sugary treats.
We currently have two sizes, specially designed to fit the one gallon, and two gallon containers, with more on the way. Next spring's catalog is expected to boast solid steel "WTCTTISITM: Conspiracy theories" containers for ice cream, tapioca pudding and coffee. these containers are being marketed as proof against casual theft, and poisoning attempts.-- ye_river_xiv, Mar 18 2009 Pacsafe http://www.corporat...y-system-p-530.htmlLike this but for icecream? [simonj, Mar 18 2009] The *not* purple sweet potato http://www.worldcom...uide/rutabagas.htmlRUTABAGAS YUM [blissmiss, Mar 19 2009] Ice cream cage http://www.facebook...fa42ee&id=666582522Because wire crimps are expensive! [ye_river_xiv, Apr 04 2009] If you eat frozen yogurt this rarely happens. Theft I mean. Maybe you should consider dieting?-- blissmiss, Mar 18 2009 Great idea, but the mesh will have to be smaller than the width of a spoon or it'll just get eaten through the bag.
Expect frustrated, would-be thieves to steal the whole kit and leave it outside to melt.-- phoenix, Mar 18 2009 HAHAHAHAHAHA! [+]-- k_sra, Mar 18 2009 Possibly... Most freezers come with steel mesh shelves, to which the bag could be affixed. Since they're removable, it may not be the greatest thing, but most college fridges have more than just your ice cream. Obviously, the more stuff is stored in there with it, the longer it will take to steal ice cream and shelf together, and the more angry college students there will be.
As per dieting... no real need yet, and as I live in California, chances are that frozen yogurt would diasappear faster thanks to all the health nuts. Besides, the ice cream is far cheaper.-- ye_river_xiv, Mar 18 2009 An easier solution is to find some flavor of ice cream that you like, but others in your dorm detest.
Trout ice cream, maybe? (Only for Iron Chef fans)-- goldbb, Mar 19 2009 Oh God 21...it's a rutabaga for heaven's sake not a purple sweet potato. Right? I said right???-- blissmiss, Mar 19 2009 21 I was not being rude at all. Merely pointing out a veggie to you in a loving and gently manner. It's the bakery. I would only tease you because I love you from the bottom of my purple rooted little heart.
Sorry bout the car thing. YOU GOT A NEW CAR??? YIPEEEEE. i still have to take public transpo. Way to go young sir.-- blissmiss, Mar 20 2009 Now would be a... bad... time to try changing Dictionary.com, right?-- ye_river_xiv, Mar 21 2009 On the subject of ice cream security, <rant> those stupid "tamper evident" containers are easier to open with a knife, coin, or longish fingernail *without* any evidence of opening, than by finding and removing the plastic tab </rant>.-- spidermother, Mar 22 2009 Last Monday, I lost an entire two gallon container, so it was time to put words into action. I discovered that as envisioned, my ice cream bag would cost well over $40, so I opted for two metal organizer shelves, and some locks instead. [Link]-- ye_river_xiv, Apr 04 2009 random, halfbakery