A face mask that that puts electrodes near muscles used for speech and a computer.
The computer utilises your own downtime (i.e. when you are asleep) to move the muscles to say grammatically correct, but randomly generated sentences and then stores the information about what you said and/or just puts them online in a blog or something.
In order to avoid one of them hospital type lung pumps, it would just synchronise with your own breathing.
Two pair of noise-cancelling headphones are included to prevent strife with significant other.-- not_morrison_rm, Oct 20 2011 You bunned your own idea, didn't you?-- MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 20 2011 Didn't you say that last year?-- DenholmRicshaw, Oct 21 2011 If not years ago?-- swimswim, Oct 21 2011 How about something which electrocutes your hand with a pen attachment to make you write different stuff in your sleep to stuff you might otherwise write while unawake?-- nineteenthly, Oct 21 2011 Under the "first to invent" patent system, that could be a moneyspinner.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 21 2011 //You bunned your own idea, didn't you?//
Well, i went through a phase of boning my own ideas as it would save others the time, so I'm taking the other approach for a bit if balance. I have now unbunned it.
Also available for voodoo-like chanting for..."no more episodes of Emmerdale"...it might just work.
//which electrocutes your hand with a pen attachment//
Interesting idea, but I'm not sure I'd use 'electrocute' in the sales brochure. Hmm, the ideal answer to all those emails you wish you hadn't sent/stuff you've ordered off the internet paid out of the joint account, just blame the hand.
don't talk to the hand, it's doing the typing...-- not_morrison_rm, Oct 21 2011 This would make some of my meetings so much easier. *visualizes a hoard of managers and executives snoozing away while their jaw-machines do all the work, followed by an increase in resultant product efficiency, stock price, and workplace satisfaction.
Maybe it could record the jaw movements of things that I end up repeating over and over again?-- RayfordSteele, Oct 21 2011 Thinking about it, an after-market add on microphone, voice recognition software and a mini-database of really useful stuff like the correct answers for "how do I look in this?", remembering to say happy birthday, anniversary for you etc..-- not_morrison_rm, Oct 21 2011 ...and possibly a tannoy version, something remarkably like a pantograph affixed to the jaw/tongue/lips, which moves a hugely enlarged rubber jaw/tongue/lips, air to be provided by a nuclear powered air compressor.-- not_morrison_rm, Oct 22 2011 [!MRM] Seems perfect for North Korea -- perhaps their nuclear program could be diverted in this direction?-- mouseposture, Oct 22 2011 random, halfbakery