Software inserted in your phone that, at the press of a button, converts the caller's speech into Teletubbyspeak. When a telemarketer calls, simply press the button and
"Hello, Mr. Jones, howareyoutodayI'dliketoofferyouanincredibleopportunity..."
becomes:
"Uh-oh! Messa Dohne. Owa ooh today! Ah likea offa yoo..."
Hand the phone to your toddler. You're free of the scourge, and the teletubbymarketer is providing a free babysitting service.-- beauxeault, Aug 29 2003 Seussian Telemarketing http://www.halfbake...ian_20TelemarketingPosted prior to teletubbymarketing, but I promise my idea was conceived independently. [beauxeault, Oct 04 2004] This is wonderful. In order to render into true Tellytubby speak, shirley it needs to do something like "Hello Po [eh-o Po]. Po has a scooter. [Po has coota] Po's scooter is red. [Po coota is wed] Would you like a red scooter? [parp parp] Oh no. [oh no] Po has crashed the scooter [Po crash coota]".
And, if you don't have a toddler any more, does the service incorporate delivering a toddler for telemarketer sitting?-- PeterSilly, Aug 29 2003 Shoot, wish I would've thought of it.-- RayfordSteele, Aug 29 2003 C'est une Bun idée. +-- k_sra, Aug 29 2003 you've all gone laa-laa. I think I will run away, run away...-- po, Aug 29 2003 Aaaahhhhh! (runs away)-- phoenix, Aug 29 2003 reminds me of a thing that 'translates' your dog's (now they also have a cat version too) barks into speaking. 'Bowlingual'. Or those phones that can translate Russian or something into English.-- benlevi7, Aug 29 2003 "Doo yoo have a cwedit cahd?" "Ummmm Ah think we have some we pway games wiff.. "Doo yoo certify that yoo are over ate-teen?" "Duz that come before or after fwee?"-- RayfordSteele, Aug 29 2003 Could you have an adult-translation service going the other way? It could be pretty simple and just repeat the following phrases when the child speaks:
"That's very interesting. Could you tell me more?" "What was that first thing again?" "I'm sorry, my child was distracting me. Can you start over?" "Do you have any other products I might be interested in?"-- Worldgineer, Aug 29 2003 Alternate modules do Jar Jar Binks.-- bristolz, Aug 29 2003 NNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
(Me-sa don't likes!)-- Cedar Park, Aug 29 2003 -(:)(0)=8-- thumbwax, Aug 29 2003 > Jar Jar Binks
the annoying bloody character in the history of film
wanker-- wobbly, Aug 29 2003 Our teletubbies speak lame spanish and the voices are annoying. Plus, some telemarketers already talk stupidly, but the approach is very cute. I love toddler voices.-- Pericles, Aug 29 2003 /Would you like a red scooter?/
No, no red cooter for me, thanks...-- X2Entendre, Aug 29 2003 Hold on: telemarketers know enough about you to figure out just which siren or celebrity accent to employ for your household--this bake could have us all waiting by the phone for a sales call from Walter Cronkite or Catherine Zeta-Jones.-- tfangio, Aug 31 2003 Bill and Ben telemarketing? Clangers? Now that I would love. Apparently the Clangers can be understood in any language so that would be a bonus for international telemarketing peeps.-- squeak, Sep 01 2003 i vote clangers, especially the soup dragon now that would be an idea... a dragon that makes and delievers soup...-- engineer1, Feb 13 2004 This way, you won't buy anything, and you will not become...
(wait for it)
po'.-- dagonet, Feb 13 2004 awesome +-- ixnaum, Aug 16 2006 random, halfbakery