The human pet store has different types of trained and licensed human pets. Some will greet you happily and must have a run with you in the evening and given food every day in a corner.

Others roam around freely and open the closets taking food for themselves and dropping things on the floor. You can have swimming human pets or caged human pets, and even flying human pets (paraglider included).

Some make intelligible sounds, others can even speak, usually shouting obscene words or just repeating what has been said in their vicinity.

They have signed a contract of what they are willing to endure with you, as long as you are friendly enough and give them the basic treatment they need.

The human pet agency checks every once in a while that you are not abusing your human pet and are taking good care of it.
-- pashute, Apr 21 2017

Is this not the same as marriage?
-- xenzag, Apr 21 2017


No, because the person paying for it all also derives some actual benefit, however small, from the arrangement - rather than just being there to settle the bills, lift heavy objects when required, deal with miniscule spiders, and generally take the blame for everything* that goes wrong.

*Including, but not limited to, the War of the Spanish Succession, the El Niño effect, syphilis, the extinction of the Dodo, and Arsenal losing at home to Manchester United in the second round of the 1953 F.A. Cup.
-- 8th of 7, Apr 21 2017


Seems like slavery to me. It is not weeding and picking cotton, but it has got the same smell.

Can they leave? Do they get wages? Is sex optional? Can they go to school? Art children involved? Do they pick their own names and costumes? Can they be sold to new owners?
-- popbottle, Apr 22 2017


You have disturbingly low standards for what qualifies as a job, [IT].
-- 8th of 7, Apr 22 2017


[xenie] you always make me laugh, always.
-- blissmiss, Apr 22 2017



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