We've all been there; pleasantly drowsy after lunch and all set to take a quick nap in the recliner. But just as you settle back and close your eyes, a fly gets it into his head that life simply will not be worth living until it has walked over every inch of your face. It lands on your cheek, you turn your head. It lands on your forehead, you wave your hand at it. The torment continues; first it's on your ear, then your eyelid, and in a rush of boldness, the demon beast runs from the corner of your lip to your nostril. There is no peace, there is no nap.
But wait! What if you could put a soft, round shaped screen mask over your head that would prevent those pesky dream stealing insects from ever touching you? While the material is similar to those worn by horses, the Human Fly Mask slips over the entire head, and has a velcro closure at the neck, perhaps with a small "skirt" of similar material to keep your neck irritating insect free as well. Unlike an old fashioned bee keepers' bonnet, the HFM is soft enough to sleep in, though of course, since you can easily see through it, you could also wear it performing various tasks around the house and yard. Depending on your mood, your surrealistic apperance when wearing the HFM, (that of a human being whose head is completly encased in a grey screen ball), can be altered by wearing one of the spiffy screen printed versions. Just think of the fun you can have with your head protected by what appears to be a giant baseball, soccer ball, a fish bowl, even that umbiquitous yellow smiley faced thing, all the while enjoying a peaceful, insect free nap.-- little dog laughed, Aug 14 2003 Venus http://www.cyberium...s/contest/venus.jpg [thumbwax, Oct 05 2004] the current solution http://www.anglersn...k/reviews/hat01.htm [rbl, Oct 05 2004] Thank goodness it's not this http://movies.yahoo...447&cf=info&intl=us [PeterSilly, Oct 05 2004] ...or this http://www.hallowee...asks_fly_lubati.htm [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 05 2004] Smiley Face Version http://whitestarfarm.com/temp/hfm.gifperhaps rounder and more opaque from the outside? [little dog laughed, Oct 05 2004] Not to be used when seeking a date.-- FloridaManatee, Aug 14 2003 Yeah, unless you wanna be a fly on the wall.-- thumbwax, Aug 14 2003 This was the real reason Jason always wore that hockey mask.-- RayfordSteele, Aug 14 2003 I thought for sure that this was going to be about teeny tiny little masks for flies. Maybe equipped with a miniature audio playback loop which says, help me, help me, over and over again. (+)-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 14 2003 Hmmmm, now that I've seen it on paper, I can't help but think of some kind of Happy Bondage Gear...-- little dog laughed, Aug 14 2003 you could use a fencing mask.-- crispee, Aug 14 2003 Isn't this just a mosquito net hat thing? Like beekeepers wear...-- waugsqueke, Aug 14 2003 Not really, those beekeeper's hats have a hard crown plus a brim; the Human Fly Mask is all soft and round so you can sleep in it. No brim to get squashed down at the back of your head, and it sets off from your face so that even if an insect did land on it, you'd never feel a thing.-- little dog laughed, Aug 14 2003 this is rather sweet. is this the reason cowboys sleep with their hats over their faces?-- po, Aug 14 2003 What you need is a mask that will trap the flies so you can feed them to [blissmiss]'s cat.-- DeathNinja, Aug 14 2003 cat's will eat flies?-- crispee, Aug 14 2003 served on flypaper?-- crispee, Aug 14 2003 Umbiquitous?
Is that a real word?
On the plus side, +.-- rooney, Nov 04 2003 What if the fly walks all over your hand? That would really tickle.-- dreamweaver, Nov 05 2003 And it would keep spiders out of your mouth. Is it really true that the average person swallows <insert number here> spiders during their sleep in a lifetime? I've heard this before but always thought it sounded too funny/horrific to be true?-- dobtabulous, Nov 06 2003 Spiders - apparently not. I read that they are quite disinclined to go near the mouths of large potential predators. Seems to make sense.-- weedy, Nov 13 2003 random, halfbakery