Print excerpts from the holy scriptures of all kinds of belief systems on toilet paper. Make sure to include any insultable faction. This should range from ancient hindu texts to christian bibles to (one of the many versions of) the qu'ran to Marx and Darwin.
Make this kind of toilet paper mandatory for all public locations, especially airports and planes. No self-respecting religious fanatic or terrorist will ever set foot into one of them again*. Or you'll recognize them by their awkward walk.
The others, meanwhile, will happily wipe their asses with some amusing reading material.
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* Of course, the more cunning of them might bring their own paper rolls. Which will safely be confiscated and check-in and similar access points to join the heap of other presumably deadly terrorist weapons like nail polish and tooth picks.-- Toto Anders, Nov 15 2015 "Ports of Entry" Cartoons _22Ports_20of_20Entry_22_20cartoonsSimilar [8th of 7, Nov 15 2015] Musa https://en.wikipedi...wiki/Moses_in_IslamA significant character [8th of 7, Nov 15 2015] Pure genius. "Something to offend everyone ! " [+]
<link>-- 8th of 7, Nov 15 2015 Some of those cunning types would bring with them not rolls of toilet paper, but alternatives like Kleenex or paper serviettes.-- Vernon, Nov 15 2015 Oh [Vernon], stop giving them ideas! You're not even allowed to bring your own water - why should it be different with any other convenience item?-- Toto Anders, Nov 15 2015 The problem is that the animals responsible for the recent attacks are not, actually, religious. They are fascists.
If they're not deterred by the thought of killing people in a very un-islamic way, they are equally unlikely to be deterred by this idea.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 15 2015 The Fifth Commandment of the Prophet Musa (Moshe, Moses) applies to all adherents of the Abrahamic religions. Allegedly.-- 8th of 7, Nov 15 2015 //Prophet Musa// That translates as "Prophet Banana".-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 15 2015 and, being very boring here, there is in the Koran an injuncture to be nice to Christians and Jews as they are of the same book as Muslims.
NB did find some hello kitty loo paper, proper Sanrio product even.-- not_morrison_rm, Nov 15 2015 // The problem is that the animals responsible for the recent attacks are not, actually, religious. They are fascists. //
Fascism is a belief system like others. Fascists believe in leadership, power, nations, their natural supremacy etc. We'll find appropriate passages from Nietzsche and Rosenberg to adorn our toilet paper with. But if you, [MaxwellBuchanan], name them animals, you have lost the game by taking part. Dehumanizing others is a profoundly fascist strategy. If you start with it, you will have to play by their rules. -- Also, it is unfair to the animals.-- Toto Anders, Nov 16 2015 ... except for cats.
#include <EOSSACR.H>-- 8th of 7, Nov 16 2015 People are animals too.-- pocmloc, Nov 16 2015 If you're going to get this wonky in your definitions, you might as well list Kepler, Newton, et al. Actually, include them all. Rational people will wipe with Origin of Species and manage to not murder hundreds of people afterwards.
//Dehumanizing others is a profoundly fascist strategy.
Sure, but in this particular context, calling these perpetrators animals is an insult to animals. The context you're talking about is larger and more organized.
Anyway, aside from that, have a bun.-- the porpoise, Nov 16 2015 It occurs to me that (1) since Jesus and Mohammed and others were human beings that needed to both eat and excrete, (2) since excrement on occasion is known to fossilize, and (3) since anything associated with Jesus and Mohammed and others is considered "holy"... the title of this Idea might actually be applicable to certain objects.-- Vernon, Nov 16 2015 Are you taking the piss, [Vern] ?-- 8th of 7, Nov 16 2015 Still better than the Swastika Toilet paper. With teachings of the Vril Society.-- travbm, Nov 16 2015 random, halfbakery