I've always thought that swiss cheese had a certain extra allure and charm because of the holes. Why settle for a solid blob, when there's a sexy alternative like "Alpine lace" available? Plus, it must be less fattening to eat a slice of cheese if half its surface area is air.

But man -- or woman, for that matter -- cannot live by Swiss cheese alone. Life is so full of possibilities. Sometimes, you just want to go for the Gouda, or feel as free as a Brie.

So the idea is this: put holes in all cheese. Now, I realize that this might present a challenge in the case of some of the "runnier" cheeses. But life is all about challenges, is it not?

Finally, I don't want to offend the "traditionalists" who hold strong lifelong opinions about certain cheeses being solid. I'm comfortable with retaining the solid incarnations as well.

Of course, the forces of the free market being what they are, the two varieties may ultimately have to compete for shelf space. If that happens, well ... may the best cheese win.
-- wesweswes, Jun 04 2002

Why does Swiss cheese have holes? http://fusion.ag.oh...tory.asp?storyid=79
Propionibacter shermani. And other interesting facts. [phoenix, Jun 04 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]

picky, picky, whats it doing in other: [general]?

how do they get the holes in that cheese in the first place? are the cows fed on lemonade or something?
-- po, Jun 04 2002


They already put holes in a number of cheeses in order to grow moulds. Thats how all that blue cheese stuff has the blue mould running through it. I suspect the same will happen with other cheeses, resulting in the poisoning of the nation, and perhaps even, dare i say, the end of edam as we know it!
-- [ sctld ], Jun 04 2002


You do realise that the new cheeses with holes would be sold at the exact same prises as the old stuff despite containing much less cheese?

Still its not your fault and it might be interesting to have some other cheeses with holes in them… but couldn’t you also go the other way and make the previously holy cheeses solid?
-- RobertKidney, Jun 04 2002


what do you propose to fill em with, RobertKidney?

hey, good practice for trainee dentists! hah
-- po, Jun 04 2002


Rods - I once tried to do a similar thing with an auger-like tool. When I saw the circles of discarded dairy products on the floor, I wept. Someone asked what was wrong, and I managed to sob out that I was having an intense religious experiance.

It was the little baby cheeses, you see.
-- yamahito, Jun 04 2002


how sweet!
-- po, Jun 04 2002


The Life of Brie-n
The Gouda, the Bad and the Ugly
Waiting for Gouda
Cheddar Cheddar Bang Bang
East of Edam
The Grate Escape

-- thumbwax, Jun 05 2002


Then the world would be turned upside down.
-- reensure, Jun 05 2002


"You do realise that the new cheeses with holes would be sold at the exact same prises as the old stuff despite containing much less cheese? "

uhhhh....Cheese is sold by weight....
-- WanderingKnight, Oct 04 2003


We can have a factory where sheets of cheese are laid down and a soccer team with cleated shoes runs across them. Or we can use an office paper punch.
-- mailtosalonga, Jul 15 2004


I think holes in cheese were actually a French idea.
-- neilp, Dec 17 2004


//Rods - I once tried to do a similar thing with an auger-like tool. When I saw the circles of discarded dairy products on the floor, I wept. Someone asked what was wrong, and I managed to sob out that I was having an intense religious experiance.//

Sounds like //Modern Times//.
-- supercat, Dec 17 2004


How about filling in the holes in one cheese with the balls cut out from another cheese? E.g Cheddar with holes full of brie! On second thought, yuck never mind.
-- phundug, Dec 17 2004



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