Set between The Hobbit and The Lord Of The Rings, Bilbo Baggins (Played by Bruce Willis) returns from Rivendell to the Shire to visit his relatives, and gets involved in heroically and single-handedly thwarting the evil plans of a Super-villain (Played by Alan Rickman) to commit many and various evil and nefarious acts i.e. murder, robbery, fraud, theft, burglary and the gratuitous teaching of Geography.

Summary: The good guys win.

Working title: "Old Hobbits Die Hard" ...
-- 8th of 7, Nov 05 2013

Imagine a follow up to this midquel - a bad-ass she-elf (played by Uma Therman) is about to get married, but the ceremony is interrupted by a roving band of assassin hobbits led by David Carradine.
-- Zeuxis, Nov 05 2013


So zombie assassin hobbits. Now it's a blockbuster.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Nov 05 2013


[2fries], prefix that with "Lesbian" and tag" from Space" on the end and you are assured riches beyond your wildest dreams, and in all prrobability the undying envy of all the other members of the Screen Writer's Guild.
-- 8th of 7, Nov 05 2013


...the quickening
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Nov 05 2013


...Part Deux.
-- DrBob, Nov 05 2013


I must protest, my "His Dark Archers (on Ice)" fusion idea got more fishbones than a prolific fishmonger...

As for whoever came up with "Strictly Pro-Celebrity His Dark Archers on Ice, with Mr Bean, Daniel Craig , and the Royal Family Parachute Display Team " I can say no more...<retreats behind Daily Telegraph>
-- not_morrison_rm, Nov 05 2013


The old hobbit without the ring would simply fall asleep.

Better one of the displaced sheriff s making a comeback during the very last chapters of LOTR

Wickedpedia:

"The Scouring of the Shire" is a chapter from the epic fantasy novel The Return of the King, part of The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien. It is the eighth chapter of Book VI, and it is the penultimate chapter of the whole story."

Thank Goodness.
-- popbottle, Nov 06 2013


Orcs are, after all, just zombified elves.

I was hoping to find a confused Bilbo finding himself in the middle of a Hitchhiker's Guide episode, having been instantly transported during an improbability drive malfunction.
-- RayfordSteele, Nov 06 2013


I am upset this was not proposed as a musical.
IE: CATS
-- xandram, Nov 07 2013


// zombified elves //

... milla jovovich as a non-zombie elf, hmmmm ...
-- 8th of 7, Nov 07 2013



random, halfbakery