Following my recent MiLK idea, [pocmloc] helpfully pointed out that it could just be called "emulsified seed oil blend paste", a highly appealing, er, appellation. Back in the day, it was suggested that British ice cream be referred to as "iced vegetable oil" and some may also remember a TV ad based on the idea that "you can't say 'chocolate' unless it's chocolate", i.e. if it's substantially lecithin it's not called chocolate. All of these issues raise good points, and have passive-aggressive, hypercorrect components to them, which is, y'know, always a good thing.
So:
Don't call any groceries anything in everyday language. Name each simple foodstuff anatomically, botanically, using IUPAC names, Latin binomials, anything, and put them in a shop organised by some kind of Dewey decimal system-adjacent system which identifies each item type quite specifically (I've done that before, so never mind). "Bos taurus mammary gland secretion" is fine by me, and in fact the packaging should label everything in the same way. Also, you put your shopping list together, consisting of "102.3296, 547.1692, 767.8192", go to the appropriate shelves, always in the right order, and pick up your ova gallarum (the other ones become cockatrices), Penicillium-inoculated coagulated lac Bovis tauri from Stilton, extremely thick dry beer which can be sliced and succus Solani lycopersici immersed fructus Faseoli vulgaris, and you've got yourself a meal.-- nineteenthly, Dec 13 2024 Along the same lines Graphic_20Sugar_20C...ondiment_20Packages [doctorremulac3, Dec 17 2024] I can't believe it's not Marmite...-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Dec 13 2024 Heat-treated shaped gluten and lactic grease paste laminate incoming [+]-- pocmloc, Dec 13 2024 Is there MSG in that? I mean 407.22.e?-- minoradjustments, Dec 14 2024 What [pocmloc] said.-- pertinax, Dec 14 2024 Mostly carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, calcium, magnesium, potassium, chlorine, sodium, phosphorus, and sulfur, with trace elements of zinc, copper, and iron.-- RayfordSteele, Dec 15 2024 mostly harmless-- pertinax, Dec 15 2024 random, halfbakery