Hide Behind Your Tiny Hands are a set of spectacles that you wear when viewing a particularly tense film, or one that contains scenes of graphic horror.
The glasses are fairly conventional, except they have a pair of tiny hands attached to them, which automatically swing down in front of your eyes at predetermined points in the film. Films broadcast markers at these key points which the glasses receive and interpret.
The glasses can also be calibrated according the viewer's individual tolerance, with the hands being capable of parting the fingers slightly so that the film is still just about visible between the gaps in the digits.
Ear phones complete the arrangement, with soothing music interjecting where required to replace the sound of screaming as bones are being sawed for example.-- xenzag, Nov 11 2006 eek [hob, May 21 2009] Joo Janta 200 Peril Sensitive Sunglasses http://www.google.c...glasses&btnG=SearchA related idea, from HHGTTG [hippo, Nov 12 2006] These would go well with fingerphones - also by xenzag fingerphonesEspecially if the fingers moved. [Ling, Nov 14 2006, last modified Nov 15 2006] Just add the motorised fingers http://www.solifest...linda-farrow-x.html [xenzag, Dec 06 2015] silly? I would use these. +-- xandram, Nov 12 2006 If I get a pair for my dad, we could watch fight club together...-- ye_river_xiv, Nov 13 2006 Just beautiful [+].
Edit: What [hippo] said (below)-- hidden truths, Nov 14 2006 I don't think the ear phones fit with the idea - there should be matching tiny hands to block the ears.-- hippo, Nov 14 2006 And a tiny hand for your mouth, in case you try and tell anyone what happens in the film, to someone who's not seen it yet.-- zen_tom, Nov 14 2006 - and a tiny hand to clamp down on your crotch in case you're desperate for the loo but can't tear yourself away from the action.-- hippo, Nov 14 2006 This is SO good. +-- salachair, Nov 14 2006 "What we got here is a failure to communicate. Some men you can't reach, that is they just don't listen when you talk reasonable so you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it, well he gets it, and I don't like it any better than you men. If he had just taken his tiny hands octopus contraption off, maybe he wouldn't be here today."
The Many Cool Hands of Luke- coming soon!-- NotTheSharpestSpoon, Nov 14 2006 This is just awesome. My suggestion for another tiny hands device: a tiny fist to punch the joker using his cell phone.-- Noexit, Nov 15 2006 How bout a tiny hand that catapults popcorn or m&ms at your face every few seconds... or gummybears at the movie screen if it sucks...-- rascalraidex, Nov 16 2006 "That moviescreen sucks!" *pelts with gummy bears*
The movie's not too bad though!-- DesertFox, Nov 16 2006 Does it have manual override?-- Jscotty, Nov 16 2006 and a tiny water pistol to squirt the nice fellow kicking you in the back of your seat.-- abhorsen1983, Nov 17 2006 Is this really necessary?-- apocalyps956, Nov 19 2006 Yes!!-- dev45, Nov 19 2006 Y'know, I think I saw something like this in one of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy books.-- HalfBaker, Oct 07 2007 what Hippo said.-- Voice, Nov 19 2007 Thank you [hob] for the excellent illustration.-- xenzag, May 21 2009 Mark Twain, on witnessing the can-can: "I placed my hands before my face for very shame. But I looked through my fingers." Perhaps such a through-the-fingers feature could be included. It appears to be present in [eek]'s illustration.-- spidermother, May 26 2009 Ahem, [spidermother] did you read the actual idea?.... "with the hands being capable of parting the fingers slightly so that the film is still just about visible between the gaps in the digits"-- xenzag, May 26 2009 Guilty as charged.-- spidermother, May 26 2009 Beautiful [+]-- simonj, Jun 30 2010 ditto.-- blissmiss, Jun 30 2010 "Hide Behind Your Tiny Hands"
Bun for the title alone.-- doctorremulac3, Jun 30 2010 Mandatory for the opening sequence of "The Living Daylights" where the Land Rover goes over the cliff ...-- 8th of 7, Jun 30 2010 See last link. Naturally I wait for my brown envelope to arrive every day now.-- xenzag, Dec 06 2015 cool [xen]!-- xandram, Dec 06 2015 You are so "before your time". Love.-- blissmiss, Dec 06 2015 Excellent. I'm sure your brown envelope is in the post-- hippo, Dec 07 2015 I thought this would be something Tr***p associated. Delighted to see it's not.-- not_morrison_rm, Apr 02 2019 Yet you still felt the need to speak his name.-- Voice, Apr 04 2019 "You're gonna need to get a bigger pair of hands!"-- xenzag, Apr 04 2019 No, triceps are much more proximal than hands. I don't see how they're related to this idea.-- notexactly, Apr 04 2019 random, halfbakery