This is very expensive.

Take eighty-four large batches of meringues and bake them in an oven filled with helium and xenon in different proportions for each batch. Place each batch in a long tube with a spring at the top and an aperture at the bottom, lined up with the maximum xenon content at extreme left and maximum helium content at extreme right. Grab a meringue from the appropriate aperture and take a bite out of it before rapidly moving on to the next aperture. Meanwhile, an enormous fan keeps the area clear of gases likely to alter the frequency of the notes.

If the proportions are correctly calculated, each meringue will crunch at a different pitch, and a tune will be played.

There are two snags. One is that the highest pitched meringues will tend to float away and may need to be tethered or caught very rapidly between the teeth to be crunched in a timely way. The other is that after a while, the player may lose consciousness due to inhaling large quantities of noble gases. However, one advantage is that if they're electrified, they will be luminous and the colours will vary according to the pitch.
-- nineteenthly, Oct 16 2008

//if they're electrified// - is that the gases, the meringues, or the players?
-- lurch, Oct 16 2008


Why not try all three in turn, and go for the one you like the best ?
-- 8th of 7, Oct 16 2008


First the meringues, then the gases and finally the player.
-- nineteenthly, Oct 16 2008


Hydrogen would be cheaper than Helium, and just as effective ...
-- 8th of 7, Oct 16 2008


I love it.
-- mitxela, Oct 16 2008


I don't think electrified hydrogen-filled meringues would be terribly safe in an atmosphere containing large amounts of oxygen.
-- nineteenthly, Oct 16 2008


Neither do we, that's why we suggested it.
-- 8th of 7, Oct 16 2008


It wouldn't necessarily glow prettily either though.
I also want to add that there should be active noise control to cancel out the fan noise.
-- nineteenthly, Oct 17 2008


I don't really understand how this works, but I'll take it on trust that it does.
-- wagster, Oct 17 2008


Clever.
-- wagster, Oct 17 2008


I er... I don't know really. I just like it.

Um...

Hm. Yes, well. Good.
-- theleopard, Oct 17 2008


Then again, you could also bake an entire meringue with radial compartments containing different proportions of the gases. One thing i don't know is what colour xenon glows when electrified. I imagine it's yellow, but that's a guess.
-- nineteenthly, Oct 17 2008


//I don't really understand how this works, but I'll take it on trust that it does.// - works? - you mean when you post ideas here, they have to be able to work? The whole thing sounds very suspect to me - that's why it gets this +
-- xenzag, Oct 17 2008


Not keen on meringues. Something about the texture I think. But as long as someone else is doing the crunching +.
-- DrBob, Oct 17 2008


..but will one gain weight every time they play this?
-- xandram, Oct 17 2008


[miasere], if you type <br > in your text (without the spaces) it will insert a single line break.
-- theleopard, Oct 21 2008


Bon
jour
-- theleopard, Oct 21 2008


Thanks.
-- nineteenthly, Feb 27 2009


How about a marshmallow version for opera? It would give the singer a higher range and they'd look like Don Corleone.
-- marklar, Mar 10 2010


Absolutely, but heat-sealed before it starts i think. Maybe a series of squishable marshmallow "keys".
-- nineteenthly, Mar 10 2010


Add some hot spices and one could play merengue music. Perhaps from one's fundamental orifice.
-- Whistlebritches, Mar 10 2010


why xenon? It is so expensive! That is like using gold foil to bake a potato.
-- AutoMcDonough, Mar 10 2010


There are alternatives. Xenon i like because it's quite innocuous, and i like things which begin with X. You could use sulphur hexafluoride.
-- nineteenthly, Mar 10 2010



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