Forth from the classroom straightaway All alone strode Haufwatha Proudly, with his books in a satchel Slung carelessly behind him And the birds cooed around him Hoping to catch his eye, for a date Maybe to the dance on the morrow. And the team, bouncing a ball A man short, called out But heeded he not, nor turn aside For elsewhere, his thoughts were.
"Where do you want to go today?" And his heart within him fluttered As he took his seat, and gazed On the message scrolling, again, Across that darkened screen. Then, as one in slumber did Haufwatha Reach a hand out to the mouse That lay inert on its pad A left, and a right, and the screen Did leap into sudden brilliance.
Far into the night did Haufwatha Sit staring into that screen Browsing all those web sites Showing the great traditions, The achievements of the crackers The wisdom of the hackers The craft of the bombers The antics of the porn stars Till the machine down the hall Ran out of jolt cola And so it was; time to go home. Click! Click! The windows closed Revealing others behind them.
Heavens! I need a pee! Keeping his legs close together To the washroom did Haufwatha Shuffle, splashing in his haste Everywhere but that receptacle Of bright, white porcelain A-waiting to safely dispose That stream of pungent liquid.
Surely, a remedy awaits somewhere Somebody has a solution All for this problem; let me search - Ah-Ha! - the LMSoM - The School of Marksmanship For Little Men - for short; "May contain nuts" half a dollar - That half-croissant on a plate; "Anonymously; or get one and write!"
Click! Click! The links beckoned And there unfolded ideas bizarre Launched; and meeting sharp criticism. Annotations to the right of them, Annotations to what's left of them, [M-F-D] tags below them, "Not an idea" and fish skeletons Piling up in neat rows Where the author wanted croissants. And there, within those stark pages Were people carrying out, apparently, Half-a-conversation. "But wags, do you not agree - " And so on, and so forth.
Thus it was that Haufwatha Decide to join in haufbaking. Clicked he in the user field And typed a handle, a new, fresh one, With fingers a-blur as he Typed the **** into the password field.
"Start - Programs - Word" For he wanted the spellings correct And the grammar perfect For those demanding people, out there. Then, with his imagination Did he elaborate on that idea, That perfect, half baked idea, That was possible, yet not possible For interesting reasons.
When all was done, did Haufwatha Insert an error here, and delete a letter there - For it must seem as pristine As unchecked by a spell-checker.
"New" "Add an idea" "OK" And it ended up in Other/General. And there it awaits, dear friends, Haufwatha waiting for his dues, Half ten half croissants.-- neelandan, Jan 18 2003 7 ages... http://www.halfbake...s_20of_20HalfbakersYep, it's a bubba. [RayfordSteele, Oct 04 2004] Hiawatha's photographing http://staff.washin...hology/lc_hiawa.htmBy Lewis Carrol [neelandan, Oct 04 2004] +, if not a bit odd.-- bristolz, Jan 18 2003 has anyone done The Seven Ages of Halfbakers yet? +1 for this.-- po, Jan 18 2003 Long from now, evolutionary biologists will point to this period in history where we began changing into long-fingered, bulging-eyed goblins with huge bladder capacities...
I thought 7 ages was a Bubba work. I could swear I've seen it. Maybe hiding in some anno. Yep. See link-- RayfordSteele, Jan 18 2003 Ha, ha, not half bad.-- FarmerJohn, Jan 18 2003 Lewis Carrol isn't a drug in my part of the country.-- neelandan, Jan 19 2003 "But it doesn't rhyme..."-- waugsqueke, Jan 20 2003 Then they joined and all criticized it, Unrestrainedly fishboned it, As the worst and ugliest idea They could possibly have thought of. "But it doesn't rhyme..." said one, The other imaginary one, In those half-conversations. All together came their annotations, Disdainful, bold, discordant annotations, As of chicken that scratch in concert, As of peacocks singing in chorus.
But my Haufwatha's responses, His polite, gentle rejoinders, Unaccountably had no effect And he left that web site. Neither did he leave them gently, Just logging out of his account, With the calm deliberation, The intense deliberation Of a seasoned halfbaker. But he left them forever, In a mighty flurry, Annotating in emphatic terms What he'd be before he'd read it. Hurriedly he selected "destroy", Hurriedly he ok'd "are you sure", Deleting his account, His ideas, His annotations, His votes.-- neelandan, Jan 20 2003 I'm a-staying, blissy. Too bad my hero left.-- neelandan, Jan 23 2003 BobTheBaker was your hero?-- jurist, Jan 23 2003 random, halfbakery