In cargo cult land there is often the misery of being stuck behind the wearer of a pair of slapping sandals in a street, subway tunnel or supermarket isle.

Perhaps I am alone in my despair over this irritation, expressing my dubious need to deploy the Slapper Zapper to quell the pernicious distraction.

It's a simple device, that is built into the soles of one's own shoes and consists of a hidden pellet gun, which shoots out a tiny blob of super glue towards the offending heel of the slapper.

Once painlessly struck, the miscreant's bare heel will immediately stick to the base of the sandal, on the next step down, instantly silencing the maddening slap.

With practice both heels can be zapped with two successive shots.
-- xenzag, Aug 14 2006

cargo cult FYI- I didn't know either. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cargo_cult
[xandram, Aug 14 2006]

Sometimes it's best to just bring 'em down with a tranquilizer gun. That way you can get up close and do a professional job of gluing shoe to heel. It's less invasive and tramatic to the slappers.

I've been a heeler for years and trust me, you do not want to miss and get a slapper all riled up.
-- NotTheSharpestSpoon, Aug 14 2006


Better to shoot the soles of the shoe... In cargo cult land, most people don't need them anyway... tough feet and all.
-- ye_river_xiv, Aug 14 2006


I read this as a cruel device for persecuting harmless slappers - naming no names.
-- pertinax, Aug 14 2006


I want to know where 'cargo cult land' is.

Also, is [xenzag] aware of the alternate meaning of the word 'slapper'?
-- zen_tom, Aug 14 2006


But [xandram] (and [xenzag]) what's that got to do with flip-flops //in a street, subway tunnel or supermarket isle//?
-- zen_tom, Aug 14 2006


[zen_tom] Certainly I don't know. The cargo cult info is rather interesting, but it didn't mention sandals. In fact, a lot of those folks don't even have shoes and they carve head phones out of wood...go figure.
-- xandram, Aug 15 2006


I am in Cargo Cult land right now and everything that the article in wikidpedia says is true, except everyone has shoes in abundance. There is much strange and unusual behaviour here, some which is goodly work, but the slapping of the sandal is an example of a mischief that must be highlighted and expunged.
-- xenzag, Aug 15 2006


Oh I see, I was thinking it might have been some kind of 'in' reference to some area in the states or the UK - so you're in Vanuatu, PNG or some such Melanesian/Polynesian Island? Very enjoyable. I'm not a flip-flop fan myself - the way I see it, if you're going to renounce footwear to the point of flip-floppery, you might as well go the whole hog and go barefoot. [+] for the idea, though I might be inclined to use chewing-gum instead of superglue.
-- zen_tom, Aug 16 2006


//Perhaps I am alone in my despair over this irritation//

Um...yeah, I think so. It's the little things in life that piss us off+.
-- jellydoughnut, Aug 18 2006


as a keen wearer/owner of flip-flops/dollar-seventy's/ slappers/thongs, i would be outraged and maybe violent if someone attempted to glue my heel to shoe, it ruins the tune, bone.
-- Stork, Dec 16 2006


//and maybe violent// - ohhh I must learn how to start shaking, as that sounds like a threat. Got any more?

Well if you don't like it, [stork] then I know it's a good idea, as I use your opinions as a very accurate inverse crapometer.
-- xenzag, Dec 17 2006



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