If the corner of your eye sees a coat on a hatstand, your brain will tell you "A coat is on that hatstand. Groovy." If the corner of your eye sees a hat on a hatstand, your brain will tell you "A hat is on that hatstand. All is right with the cosmos." If, however, the corner of your eye registers a coat and hat on a hatstand, your home alone, survival instinct-driven brain will tell you "Woooaargh! Silent intruder lurking in hallway! Panic!"

To avoid these moments of raw and unnecessary terror comes the Happy Hatstand. The Happy Hatstand is largely similar to standard hatstand, with a central pillar, some balance generating feet and a sufficiency of places to store a lady's outdoor apparel. The difference is that central pillar of the the Happy Hatstand is hollow and contains a brightly coloured, retractable and protective sheath for your coats and hats. Simply depressing the satisfyingly clicky button on the foot of the stand will deploy the sheath, causing it to fire into the air and float gently down, hiding completely any potentially alarming clothing. Press the button again and the sheath is withdrawn into the central pillar.

Available in a variety of mix and match styles, the Happy Hatstand will also amuse small children and generally make your hall look tidier and 37% more swish.
-- calum, Dec 13 2004

Rank Bajin http://netsavvy.co.uk/lobey/cast.htm
A potentially evil aftermarket sheath design, for maximising terror, if you're that way inclined. [calum, Dec 14 2004]

My hall needs to look at least 43% more swish. Apart from that, bunworthy.
-- wagster, Dec 13 2004


You've been lurking in hallways talking to the furniture again, haven't you [calum]?
-- dentworth, Dec 13 2004


Not so much talking to the furniture as shrieking at it, I'm afraid, [dentworth].
-- salachair, Dec 14 2004


poor [calum], this time of year hard on the old boy?
-- dentworth, Dec 14 2004


He's a lawyer. He doesn't know what hard times are.
-- salachair, Dec 14 2004


Hah! spoken like a sibling,

as to the invention, I like the visual of a parachute of color coming down to cover the whole stand.
-- dentworth, Dec 14 2004


I had to read this three times before I understood it (sheesh, talk about po speak!)

what calum might find comforting would be a sheath resembling superman's clobber or even wonderwoman!
-- po, Dec 14 2004



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