Handicapped parking spots would be marked with signs designating the spot as "Handicap or Ass Hole Parking".

A truly handicapped person could park in the spot and consider his or her action proper and compliant with the sign.

A non-handicapped person parking in the spot would be publicly labeling himself an ass hole. Those who were not truly ass holes would refrain from parking in the spot so as not to publicly label themselves as ass holes. Some true ass holes would refrain for the same reason. However, true mega ass holes would park in the spot in spite of the new sign, but, at least we'd have the satisfaction of them being publicly labeled as such.
-- Mustardface, Jan 19 2005

similar to the a-hole license plate.... _22I_27ve_20Made_20It_22_20Button
[sophocles, Jan 19 2005]

My boss parks in the handicap spot. He had the friggin' building built. For Bog's sake he could have put a sign up 'The Owner's Spot' if he wanted, but no, he parks in the handicap spot. Some people have pondered having him towed.
-- Zimmy, Jan 19 2005


It's a good point that jscottpete almost makes - is it not possible to be both handicapped *and* an asshole? If yes (or rather no), the assumption must be that the "or" in the markings is not XOR.
-- calum, Jan 19 2005


Trust me, from personal experience, it's more than possible to be in both categories. I'd like to see a system where non-disabled people were given a disability if they abuse the space.
-- oneoffdave, Jan 19 2005


you could have extra wide parking spaces miles away from the enterance for 'shit parkers' or 'large families with kids who will probably slam the car doors into the next vehicle' , although good luck trying to fit that on a dainty little sign.
-- etherman, Jan 19 2005


How bout a program where people can pay money for a special "asshole" license plate (with a picture of an ass hole on it) - which permits them to park in handicapped spaces?
-- phundug, Jan 19 2005


I just like the idea of government funds going towards printing the word "asshole" for the world to see.
-- shapu, Jan 19 2005


[Zimmy] - go on, tow him. Today.
-- wagster, Jan 19 2005


Nope - people with hidden handicaps (such as slight mental illness) would be labelled assholes.

Wouldn't work. (But secretely, deep down -- we all know this is just a rant)
-- britboy, Jan 19 2005


britboy: Slight mental illness is not a handicap, not in the sense given. Here, the term "handicap" applies to people who qualify for "Orange Badge" holdership (they're blue now, but meh). These are restricted to people who have a physical disability. So your point is unfounded.
-- [ sctld ], Jan 19 2005


[phundug], I think you've got it. The permit should be obscenely expensive, and the license plate should be oversize and garish, but at least you'd know who they were at a glance.
-- normzone, Jan 19 2005


But the assholes wouldn't pay.
-- Worldgineer, Jan 19 2005


Where do the handicapped non-ass holes park after all of the ass holes have taken their spots?
-- yabba do yabba dabba, Jan 19 2005


<shameless promotion for old lame idea>The expensive a-hole licence plate reminded me of my old "I made it" button... linked</spfoli>
-- sophocles, Jan 19 2005


There could be a test when you get your license for "assholism." Those parking spots should definitely be miles away from the entrance...
-- catwater, Jan 19 2005


While the author identifies the problem, and I do admit it is a problem!, he does not suggest a solution to stopping idiots ignoring signs. I usually shout to the relevant (obviously non-qualifying) person "OI! How's the Leg!!?". You usually get some answer like "Fuck Off!" or "It's for me mum!" (She isn't in the car!).
I don't believe that this semi rant will actually solve anything.
-- gnomethang, Jan 19 2005


If they ever implemented this then I would deliberatly park in the spaces just for the hell of it (assuming the places aren't nearly all filled).
-- Cats Whiskers, Jan 19 2005


[gnomethang], as for a solution to stopping idiots from ignoring signs, regardless of wording, I leave that to our explosive experts here at Halfbakery. It's not my area of expertise and I wouldn't want to do a bad job and possibly injure someone not enough.
-- Mustardface, Jan 20 2005


[gnomethang], put one up and watch. Heck, just have Candid Camera test it for us.
-- Mustardface, Jan 20 2005


I think I speak for all assholes when I say that this is a great invention as long as I don't have to pay parking fines.
-- robinism, Jan 20 2005


Maybe traffic wardens could have spray-cans (a different colour each day) and a stencil of ... perhaps a donkey. Then they could label an infringing car using the ass-hole.
-- Loris, Jan 20 2005



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