An ethnic homeland for halfbakers. It would only have to be very small, as most of us would still live as ex-pats in our current locations, only returning on pilgrimage once every so often.
Suggestions:
Lewes The West Bank (everyone else is doing it, why can't we?) A small cafe near Rickmansworth Jutta's house Birds custard factory.-- stupop, Nov 02 2001 If you're talking 1/2-baked... http://oceania.org/ [lubbit, Nov 02 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004] The business http://www.spikemag...1099thebusiness.htmStrikingly unimpressive novel by Iain Banks where a business attempts to purchase a small country in order to get a place in the united nations [stupop, Nov 02 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004] this might be a nice place http://www.retroweb.com/portmeirion.htmlits beautiful, its weird, its welsh, the home of the prisoner - I'm not a number I'm a [po, Nov 02 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004] Lets join in with this lot http://www.theonion...3723/west_bank.htmlThey're bound to be a riot! [Zircon, Aug 29 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004] Bulkeley http://www.nj2k.co....y/images/aerial.jpgTaken by yours truly [NickTheGreat, Aug 29 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004] Mandelbrot set. http://www.icd.com/...nner/mandelbrot.gifincluding the *funny* little nose - well it looks like carpet pattern to me [po, Sep 06 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004] Can't we just have EnWaScoNi? We created it after all.-- CoolerKing, Nov 02 2001 museums, libraries, pubs (baked), underground secret technology development bunkers, and Eliteland.-- lewisgirl, Nov 02 2001 Cyannica, please - Eliteland could be a semi-autonomous region of Cyannica for those HalfBakers who got to the higher ratings on Elite...-- hippo, Nov 02 2001 Halftopia.-- waugsqueke, Apr 02 2002 The borders of which are adorned with orderly rows of halftopiaries.-- bristolz, Apr 02 2002 (Rods Tiger) Don't you mean pillage, i don't think there is such a word as pilgage. And if you do mean pillage, then why would he want to do that for??? Isn't that what vikings do to like towns and stuff???-- amazing, Aug 29 2002 Have Bulkeley. Hell, no-one else wants it, and I already live here - 1 less pilgrimage.Plenty of nice fields and friendly old folks (that's not a wing by the way, it's our futuristic space dome [see link])-- NickTheGreat, Aug 29 2002 I want to know UB's connection with Lewes..?-- yamahito, Sep 04 2002 he thought it was lewd-- po, Sep 04 2002 That must be it.-- yamahito, Sep 04 2002 lets run away before he wakes........-- po, Sep 04 2002 //Bulkeley //
Bulkeley ? Just off the A49, West of Nantwich ? Near Malpas ? Yeee - hah !
<aside> Guys ..... hey, guys ..... listen ...... he's in range ..... I can hit him from where I live with the large-calibre stuff ...... and Bulkely is so awful that no-one will ever notice ...... </aside>-- 8th of 7, Sep 05 2002 You got that* right 8th (but we're on the A534)..... why, where are you based?*: Location, not awfulness.-- NickTheGreat, Sep 06 2002 Too close for your comfort, sonny boy ...... hee hee hee. You can poke the others with a pointed stick if you like, they're far away, but be nice to me .... don't make me angry. You wouldn't want to see me when I'm angry ....
Like the photo by the way.
po: Love the Portmeirion idea. I would fit right in - I wouldn't even have to change my designation. I could just be Number 8. "I want to go, where everybody knows your Number ?"-- 8th of 7, Sep 06 2002 Why does Mare Ingenii look so much like the Mandelbrot set fractal?-- RayfordSteele, Sep 06 2002 put your glasses on Ray, the left side is minus that funny little nose thing. (link)-- po, Sep 06 2002 <o/t to 8th> That doesn't really help... in fact it kind of makes me more anxious, as I don't know from which direction to expect attack. That said, he doesn't know my exact *house* now, does he?And he doesn't even have a .net passport. Honestly...</o/t>-- NickTheGreat, Sep 06 2002 po, just rotate it a bit, maybe 270 degrees, and it's a bit closer to a match.-- RayfordSteele, Sep 06 2002 nope, which ever way I turn my head, I cannot see the pointy bit.
but the more I look at it, the more I know what you mean. shall we try ink blots?-- po, Sep 06 2002 For a true HB homeland, we would need to accurately chart the location of all the bakers, then plot an average location. It would probably end up being somewhere in the middle of the ocean, but with all the intellectual power resonating from this site, surely we can build a crude raft or something.-- BinaryCookies, Sep 06 2002 // but with all the intellectual power resonating from this site //
Please, BC, tell me that's irony .....-- 8th of 7, Sep 09 2002 Any more offers on Bulkeley?Positive: Small, picturesque South Cheshire Village | Population under 300 | PLenty of space | Lovely views | My homeNegative: Anti-Europe | Anti-Euro | ConservativeBidding starts at €150. Just to piss people off.-- NickTheGreat, Sep 09 2002 thats where it went - I have been feeling light headed all day,-- po, Sep 09 2002 Bliss, if you get here early enough you can build a house yourself (or get in some builders). Failing that, you could just hire Rambo and take over a council estate.And thank you - that's my favourite picture as well ;op-- NickTheGreat, Sep 10 2002 Nick: // Bidding starts at €150 //
What, there's been a price boom or something ?
Bliss: Nick is right. Land is cheap. Life is cheap too. Take some strings of beads and shiny buttons to trade with the natives. Also, take food, water, candles, soap, and anything else classed as a "trapping of civilisation". Don't sell them whisky. Don't bother about pepper spray, you'll only be in danger of attack if you're a sheep.
You can recognise the ones from Bulkeley becuase they have prognathic jaws, and eyebrow ridges with eyebrows that meet in the middle. They can scratch their knees without bending; in fact, they have ditches on each side of the roads so that the locals can move about without their knuckles dragging on the ground.
If you need domestic help, don't bother to advertise - just go out and shake the trees and see what comes out. Be aware that they are easily alarmed by novelties, viz. fire and the use of stone tools.
But some of the cave paintings are remarkably sophisticated, and they can do wonders with bear skins and carved mammoth tusks.
Don't be afraid ..... it could be the adventure of a lifetime ......
Later: I once saw in an Anthropological Museum a map drawn by an educated (?) Bulkeleyite. Everything North of Beeston was just white, with "Hier Bee Dragns" scrawled across it ....-- 8th of 7, Sep 10 2002 Now now that's enough Bulkeley-bashing 8th. Actually, we won the best kept vilage competition (again) this year, I heard from my contact on the council just this afternoon.
The board have put us in a group of 4 cheshire villages to go through to the national competition, and were enquiring to see what we do for the residents.Those things include the newsletter and bulkeley website, both designed by me (and in the case of the website, built and filled with content, too).-- NickTheGreat, Sep 11 2002 // that's enough Bulkeley-bashing //
What ? I was just starting to enjoy myself ......
// we won the best kept vilage competition (again) this year //
Easy enough, when the most sophisticated form of vehicular trasportation you have to cope with is the donkey-cart ....
// enquiring to see what we do for the residents //
Witch-burnings, ducking stools, skimmington-rides, bear baiting, pin-the-crime-on-the-village-idiot ......
// filled with content //
Isn't cut-and-paste in FrontPage wonderful ? I was puzzled by the resemblance to the Tarpoley website, now I know why .....
What ya doin' at Saimhain, kid ? I could bring my Wicker Man down ...... your local yokels will love that .....-- 8th of 7, Sep 11 2002 Please, stop bickering; 8th, stop bullying the kid.
<rhetorical question>: if bulkely is so medieval, why does 8th choose to live so nearby?</rq>-- yamahito, Sep 11 2002 It looks nothing like the tarporley website.If you check my source code, you'll see none of the usual frontpage signatures (meta tags, screwed-up code, etc.).
I think you're just jealous you don't live in Bulkeley because you live in awful <random stabs in the dark> ridley/faddiley/brindley/bickerton/tarporley/broxton/nantwich/crewe/chester </rsitd>-- NickTheGreat, Sep 11 2002 How about Bedford, Texas? That's my homeland, convienently located near the airport. It's kind of neutral ground, because it is halfway in between the East and West coasts. British 'bakers would have to fly over here though.-- BinaryCookies, Sep 11 2002 The international balance on bakers in the UK, US and Australia means that I think we need somewhere in the Atlantic. Bermuda, anyone?-- PeterSilly, Sep 12 2002 yama: sorry.
Nick: Just kidding about the website. Sorry I implied that you live in a rural backwater full of mouth-breathing retards who all have twelve toes and play the banjo (even if you do . .....). All right, I shall be nice and pleasant and couteous to you from now on (as you are obviously more deserving of pity than condemnation......)
BC : // Bedford, Texas // - too darned hot.
PeterSilly: Journey to the Centre of the Earth ?
// ridley/faddiley/brindley/bickerton/tarporley/broxton/nantwich/crewe/chester //
Wow ! Impressive ... all around the target, but no actual hits; and you can fly too - there's a bright future for you in the U.S.A.F., my boy !-- 8th of 7, Sep 12 2002 8th - sure the geographic centre would be some miles into the earth's crust. I thought the requirement to breathe would be important though.-- PeterSilly, Sep 12 2002 With a variety of very long tubes, that can be accomplished.
8th, yu're being too mysterious for my liking... if I get a map and try and plot a central point to thse locations, I really don't get anything, so I'll try some more random stabs-in-the-dark:cholmondeley/spurstow/peckforton/beeston/farndon/holt/tattenhall/aldford/saighton/barton/stretton/tilston/larkton/egerton/chorley/haughton/bunbury/burwardsley/huxley-- NickTheGreat, Sep 12 2002 Newsflash: NICK'S AIR FORCE CARPET BOMBS SOUTH CHESHIRE. HORRIFIC COLLATERAL DAMAGE. THOUSANDS OF CIVILIANS PERISH NEEDLESSLY. AMAZINGLY, TARGET REMAINS UNMARKED DESPITE WHISTLING SHRAPNEL. USAF EXTENDS NAF CONTRACT FOR FURTHER FIVE YEARS ....
Wow.... have you been helping out in the hunt for Osama ?-- 8th of 7, Sep 12 2002 No, but they could use me - I carpet-bomb and miss for much lower pay than the USAF pilots.-- NickTheGreat, Sep 12 2002 Try the M.O.D. - they love trying to do things on the cheap - shame how it never works ..... but don't expect a contract for carpet bombing, your're really only looking at doormat bombing, maybe hearthrug bombing on a good day ....-- 8th of 7, Sep 13 2002 Here's an idea 8th... why not stop being so mysterious and just reveal it....-- NickTheGreat, Sep 15 2002 random, halfbakery