I am proud to announce that, after somewhat protracted negotiations with the owner, I have obtained the rights to the domain name of halfbakery.com along with the rights to all of the hardware and software that the site runs on and to all of the content. Furthermore, I now also own the rights to the username ‘jutta’; the name by which I should henceforth be addressed.

As part of the buyout I have contracted to finance a number of improvements to the site which, I hope you will agree, will improve the user experience whilst retaining traditional ‘bakery values.

Firstly, halfbakery.com will become a pay-per-view site. From midnight tonight, you will be asked for your credit card details each time that you attempt to view a halfbakery idea. Having emptied the sweetie jar in order to finance this deal, I feel that this action is necessary in order to recover costs and to keep the site running in a professional & profitable manner (something that has been sadly lacking thus far). Whilst this is an onerous new feature, I feel sure that you will agree that it is preferable to becoming a purely subscription based site where everyone would have to pay the same regardless of the amount of time that they spend on the site. Annotating will, of course, remain free of charge, as will voting.

Secondly, you will now be required to accept the terms & conditions of halfbakery.com whenever you log in. By necessity these are lengthy and couched in a considerable volume of ‘legalese’ but can be essentially summarised in a single phrase. All Your Base Are Belong To Us! All ideas, annotations, illustrations, user login names and even your very thoughts will now become the property of halfbakery.com.

Thirdly, in order to enforce my second point above, access to halfbakery.com will require you to download a small and, my experts assure me, harmless application to your PC. This will allow us to ensure that unscrupulous users are not attempting to hide ideas that rightfully belong to halfbakery.com nor to donate them to other, less scrupulous ‘ideas’ sites. It will also allow us to use your PC as a server, thus saving us bandwith costs and helping us to keep the pay-per-view fees to a minimum.

Fourthly, in order to encourage brand loyalty, we will be offering a 'Premium Membership' for those who wish to further enhance their 'bakery experience. Full details have yet to be worked out but will probably involve some croissant-based frippery at minimal cost to me.

Finally, the fishbone & croissant logos are now copyright of halfbakery.com, as are the words “baked”, “half-baked”, “halfbaked”, “custard”, “elf”, “fishbone”, “’bone”, “croissant”, “bun”, “pastry”, “nano”, “technology”, “nano-technology”, “nanotechnology”, “nanotech”, “shirley” (note the lower-case ‘s’) and the phrases “[marked-for-deletion]” and “[marked-for-expiry]”.

Happy baking!
-- DrBob, Apr 01 2009

You'll never take my username alive, [DrBob]! Guerrilla_20Halfbakers
Guerilla Halfbakers - the basis for a new the Bakers' Front for Croissants?
[Jinbish, Apr 01 2009]

You forgot 'custard', 'pirate' and 'ninja'.
April Fish to you, too!
-- gnomethang, Apr 01 2009


Phew! At least there won't be any banner ads.
-- hippo, Apr 01 2009


[jutta] thanks for the heads-up.

By the way, the crotchless panties I promised you are in the mail.
-- phoenix, Apr 01 2009


I thought this might have been in halfbakery:evil, I didn't realise there was a halfbakery:goldmine.
-- wagster, Apr 01 2009


haha!! I'd like to order a Premium Account today please!! Just put it on my halfbaked card,thanks.
-- xandram, Apr 01 2009


//the crotchless panties I promised you are in the mail.//

You know, phoenix, don't you, that normal panties that have just worn through don't actually count as 'crotchless'?

// I will accept the cash value of the bread based on global wheat prices.//

//I'd like to order a Premium Account today please!!//

I think I see a solution to this problem!
-- DrBob, Apr 01 2009


How much did you pay? One million pounds! They saw you (2nd) coming.
-- eight_nine_tortoise, Apr 01 2009


"You know, phoenix, don't you, that normal panties that have just worn through don't actually count as 'crotchless'?"
Battle of the Bulge? Besides, they're already on their way...you might as well enjoy them.
-- phoenix, Apr 01 2009


I hope you remember that "autobuntoaster" function we talked about earlier.
-- FlyingToaster, Apr 01 2009


I want a refund.
-- blissmiss, Apr 01 2009


//you will now be required to accept the terms & conditions of halfbakery.com whenever you log in. By necessity these are lengthy and couched in a considerable volume of ‘legalese’ but can be essentially summarised in a single phrase. All Your Base Are Belong To Us!//

Dear sir,

As I heretofore have not agreed to such terms and conditions, today's date notwithstanding, I demand a monthly royalty for all past contributions including, but not limited to, ideas, annotations, links, and votes cast. I think you will find the amount of USD 500.00 fair for each. Or you may instead choose to remove all such contributions at your own risk. Be aware that in such case I will sue you for data loss. Also I demand licensing rights for all the intellectual property and trademarks mentioned in the final clause, to have full use of them now as I did before.
-- Spacecoyote, Apr 01 2009


<gasps> "It was all a horrible dream!"
-- hippo, Apr 02 2009


{Chucks crates of tea into the Internet}

{Looks at his watch}

{Tries to retrieve, now soggy, tea.}
-- Dub, Apr 06 2009


Am I alone in being worried about the net positive croissantage for this?
-- DrBob, Apr 06 2009


I'll join [spacecoyote] in a class action suit, but settle out of court for part ownership.

"No, I"M [Jutta] !
-- normzone, Apr 09 2009



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