Halfbakery: Poetry
Halfbaker's Limerick Challenge   (+10, -2)  [vote for, against]
Step right up and test your skills...

The name of the game: a community limerick challenge. Each person submits one line to a developing limerick, and in doing so, tries to stump the author of the next line by the increasing difficulty in creating a meaningful rhyme that sticks to the topic as it's generated.

The rules: No using words that are noted for having no rhymes whatsoever, like 'orange.' The limerick must make some sort of sense when read through, surreal though it may be.

A bungling young baker 'named 'Steele...
-- RayfordSteele, Aug 09 2002

A similar game I played once http://www.banksean...velytale/image.html
It started out as an email game: she wrote the first verse, a limmerick where each line began with the letter A. The next turn was mine, and I wrote a limmerick where each line began with B. We alternated like this all the way to Z in a thread of email echanges over the course of a month. Later she suprised me with a bound and illustrated version of it. [banksean, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

had many an idea surreal..
-- yamahito, Aug 10 2002


so he went to the store...
-- BinaryCookies, Aug 10 2002


and sampled a S'More...
-- thumbwax, Aug 10 2002


that was wrapped in a banana peel....
-- runforrestrun, Aug 10 2002



A challenging rhymer called Ray...
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 10 2002


bought all sorts of stuff at Ebay
-- po, Aug 10 2002


twelve gross of down pillows,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 10 2002


after dozin' under a duvet.
-- thumbwax, Aug 10 2002


Received a most interesting fax,
-- runforrestrun, Aug 10 2002


after reporting in sick to woik
-- po, Aug 10 2002


<Autocorrection>Excuse me, Sir, Mr. John 3:16, Sir, "smirk" does not rhyme with "woik" - The word which you rhymed to is a forbidden word, Mr. Sinner. Please make a mental note of it and rhyme with "woik", the less disgusting, more palata/digesti/ble term. <Factoid to be ignored in this limerick>I haven't called in sick to woik in oh, about 10 years or more.</Factoid to be ignored in this limerick></Autocorrection>
-- thumbwax, Aug 10 2002


[following from po]...woik,
he spent the whole day playing quoits,
-- sappho, Aug 10 2002


then made tracks to his bed to relax.
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 10 2002


somethin' 'bout reindeer and St. Nick,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 10 2002


but their plans went awry
-- po, Aug 10 2002


by this quick reply:
-- yamahito, Aug 10 2002


By the foolish limerick spy.
-- kaz, Aug 10 2002


A young Farmer from Sweden
-- po, Aug 10 2002


Couldn't figure which field to put the seed in,
-- runforrestrun, Aug 10 2002


"Here I sit on the fence,"
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 10 2002


Geeze...is everyone asleep?

A young Farmer who hails from Sweden,
Couldn't figure which field to put the seed in,
"Here I site on the fence",
"With my bags full of quince",
"Trying to create my own little Garden of Eden"

somebody start a new one....I'm just feeling impatient today.....sorry....
-- runforrestrun, Aug 10 2002


From chain saw and axe, forrest ran,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 10 2002


From chainsaw and axe, forrest ran,
Pursued by a silver woodsman tin can,
a strawman and lion that wailed,
and the young Dorothy Gale,
He grabbed Toto and headed back to Kan
-- Susen, Aug 11 2002


Bored and tired of boozin'
Like Turtles of Galapagos we return
To lie on our bellies on the beach at risk for sunburn
And on the halfbakery hunt for old ideas to churn
Until we are forced by fish to learn
Maybe it should use GPS, and not be piezoelectric
Despite the well-intentioned woik ethic
With the possible exception of a remote control
And the telephone with which I put you on hold

[Note: yes, that is well more than one line.]
-- polartomato, Aug 11 2002


an odd concept, a polartomato
-- po, Aug 11 2002


and a halfbaking tubbie po
-- polartomato, Aug 11 2002


looks like the tele is frozen
-- thumbwax, Aug 11 2002


perhaps a depletion of ozone
-- po, Aug 11 2002


or a french-fried Irish potato.
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 11 2002


(Is that a six line limerick?, anyway:)

There was a young man named Eanis...
-- namaste, Aug 11 2002


who swore at the judge from the dock
-- po, Aug 11 2002



Unabubba blew bubbles down under,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 11 2002


Until it caused him to chunder;
-- yamahito, Aug 11 2002


So each bubble was filled,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 11 2002


With shrimp Bar-B'd not grilled,
-- Susen, Aug 11 2002


And his dinner was drifting asunder.
-- -alx, Aug 11 2002


.....an unassuming halfbaker called alx
-- po, Aug 11 2002


said "pronouncing my name is most complex",
-- Susen, Aug 11 2002


You can read it in Braille.
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 11 2002


a wonderful friend called blissmiss
-- po, Aug 11 2002


when greeted by a spider does dismiss,
-- Susen, Aug 11 2002


sends her down the corridor fleeing
-- yamahito, Aug 11 2002


'till persuaded by Spiderman's kiss.
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 12 2002


Dropped in a bucket
Somewhere in Nantuckett...
-- polartomato, Aug 12 2002


A ladybug
And a sea slug...
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 12 2002



Where have all the 'bakers gone?
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 12 2002


<xml>long time parsing...</xml>
-- SteveAdams, Aug 12 2002


Are they with beauxeault?
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 12 2002


<fantasy world> Young girls have picked them everyone </fantasy world>
-- DrBob, Aug 12 2002


When will they ever learn?
</Peter, Paul and Mary>
-- angel, Aug 12 2002


A Doctor named Bob was invited to Lords'
-- po, Aug 12 2002


In short breeches and wigs they stood there in hordes,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 12 2002


Not sure what to do,
-- runforrestrun, Aug 12 2002


He bared his tattoo,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 12 2002


it wigged them out of their gourds.
-- thumbwax, Aug 12 2002



The yama I know, ain't the god,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 12 2002


and he's certainly not Ken Dodd
-- po, Aug 12 2002


but he's good on a fiddle,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 12 2002


and quick with a riddle,
-- Susen, Aug 12 2002


Farmer, there's one thing I'd like to know,
-- Susen, Aug 12 2002


Is that posing pouch purely for show?
-- -alx, Aug 13 2002


(just couldn't resist, could you UB? ;-)
-- Susen, Aug 13 2002


While eating a custard pie one day,
-- Susen, Aug 13 2002


I said, "Have some pie"

(I was gonna ask what kind of Farmer he was ;-)
-- Susen, Aug 13 2002


Thinking how much more he would weigh.
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 13 2002



An unlazy Susen on the beach,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 13 2002


There once was a man named Percy
-- amazing, Aug 13 2002


(amazing, deletion your anno above this....you, sir, are out of order, your honour)
-- Susen, Aug 13 2002


With examples from dogs,
-- PeterSilly, Aug 13 2002


Lizards, newts, bats and frogs,
-- angel, Aug 13 2002


And a litre of powerful bleach
-- SteveAdams, Aug 13 2002



There's an angel here without wings,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 13 2002


who says many wonderful things
-- yamahito, Aug 13 2002


prog-rocking throughout Cornwall,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 13 2002


who *claimed* he was only thirteen, by golly;
-- yamahito, Aug 13 2002


But the power of his rhetoric,
-- angel, Aug 13 2002


and understanding of metric,
-- sappho, Aug 13 2002


Left even oldies feeling quite jolly.
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 13 2002



And our jutta the capo dei capi,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 13 2002


Gives the boot to trolls that are crappy
-- Mr Burns, Aug 13 2002


Because they can't learn to follow the herd..
-- Mr Burns, Aug 13 2002


And leaves them soiling their nappy.

PS. [bliss] - I think you'll find that's "ne'er".
-- PeterSilly, Aug 13 2002


A pedantic soul named [PeterSilly],
-- -alx, Aug 13 2002


With a mug just like [PeterSealy],
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 13 2002


A plentitude of toilet ideas to berate
-- polartomato, Aug 13 2002


And says his real name's Silly, really.
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 13 2002


head throbbed, felt sck
-- po, Aug 13 2002


Who put in an IV
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 13 2002


That did the trck dbl quck.
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 13 2002


There once were some Ponytail Fasteners......
-- The_Englishman_Abroad, Aug 13 2002


hair furniture we had in Xcess
-- po, Aug 13 2002


Our peace she did transgress,
-- Susen, Aug 14 2002


This limerick's quite a mess
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 14 2002


No different from anything else on this site, but I digress...
-- polartomato, Aug 14 2002


That multiplied like invading fire ants
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 14 2002


The point was not clear,
-- PeterSilly, Aug 14 2002


Sod this; I need a beer.
-- angel, Aug 14 2002


then I'll hem my divan's new valance.
-- sappho, Aug 14 2002


Some people like cats and some hate 'em,
-- sild, Aug 14 2002


That 8th uses glue to restrain 'em,
-- st3f, Aug 14 2002


Then 7/8 lights the fuse,
-- thumbwax, Aug 14 2002


And kitty sings the blues,
-- Susen, Aug 14 2002


They fell on his plate and he ate 'em.
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 14 2002


There was a young goddess called Mictlantecihuatl,
-- Aristotle, Aug 14 2002


who had a strange thing for young cattle,
-- PeterSilly, Aug 14 2002


And with her butt flirt,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 14 2002


A handsome philosopher called Aristotle
-- po, Aug 14 2002


Blew a tire when his car hit a pothole
-- Mr Burns, Aug 14 2002


So with the aid of some custard,
-- Aristotle, Aug 14 2002


He remained totally unflustered
-- po, Aug 14 2002


And drove on philosophically in full throttle.
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 14 2002


Who logged in when he got bored
-- madradish, Aug 14 2002


from arthritis his joints were rustin'
-- mihali, Aug 15 2002


But he was sooooo cute,
-- Susen, Aug 15 2002


Was all that didn't start bustin'.
-- watermelancholy, Aug 15 2002


Means we can stop checking morgues
-- madradish, Aug 15 2002


And can't be misled,

(UB you are *evil*)
-- madradish, Aug 15 2002


While the rest of us have gone to the dogs.
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 15 2002


You say "dawgs" and I say "daugs". You say "hawgs" and I say "haugs".
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 15 2002


Bubba = the grey matter Antipodean.
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 15 2002


who gets a cup o' tea in, [is anyone still playing?]
-- General Washington, Aug 15 2002


Then thought, "Er..."
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 15 2002


& have a sense of foreboding
-- po, Aug 15 2002


it's great to see susen is back
-- mihali, Aug 15 2002


She is back on the beaten track
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 15 2002


but off the beaten path
-- thumbwax, Aug 15 2002


just as sweet and game for a laugh
-- po, Aug 15 2002


It seems the bakery has a ghost,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 15 2002


who leaves a trace in many a post:
-- yamahito, Aug 15 2002


Can it be a spooky hack attack?
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 15 2002


Halfbakery folk are a diverse lot,
Aussie, Brit, Canadian, Scot,
From Belizian beaches,
To Connecticut reaches,
Our doughy, half done, melting pot.

-- Susen, Aug 15 2002


There once was a man named Percy, Who really liked to eat...sherty, He would peel off the skin, Then sing "Rin-Tin-Tin", And that is the story of Percy.
-- amazing, Aug 15 2002


Full Moon, he walked the ramparts.
-- po, Aug 16 2002


His belly full with lamb hearts,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 16 2002


He felt all alone,
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 17 2002


so he picked up a stone
-- mihali, Aug 17 2002


some idiot troll called our phoenix, a muppet
-- po, Aug 17 2002


Claimed the poster-child for dysgenics, a puppet
-- thumbwax, Aug 17 2002


but they knew better, you see
-- mihali, Aug 18 2002


for they'd've had a reply they'd never forget
-- yamahito, Aug 18 2002


Replete with 3 word contractions, yet.
And some dude with a pair of giant pistols,
-- bristolz, Aug 20 2002


You got that one right O Aussie mister,
-- bristolz, Aug 20 2002


End-to-end, I fear I did not
But of the south, I saw a lot.
-- bristolz, Aug 20 2002


I wish she would come out to play.
-- DrBob, Feb 13 2003


Way back in 2 oh oh three...
-- pashute, Mar 27 2011


Way back in 2 oh oh three...
There wasn't much good poetry.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 27 2011


Seemed beyond the cap-arse
ity..

-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 27 2011


... but don;t worry, it got an Arts Council grant anyway.
-- 8th of 7, Mar 27 2011



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