(with apologies to no one)

Young troll, there's no need to feel down.
I said, young troll, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young troll, 'cause you're in a new town,
There's no need to be unhappy.

Young troll, there's a place you can go
I said, young troll, when you're short on your dough
You can stay there and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.

It's fun to stay at the HALF BA-KER-Y
It's fun to stay at the HALF BA-KER-Y
They have everything for young men to enjoy.
You can hang out with all the boys.

It's fun to stay at the HALF BA-KER-Y
It's fun to stay at the HALF BA-KER-Y
You can get yourself mocked
You can act like a heel
You can do whatever you feel.

Young troll, Are you listening to me
I said, young troll, what do you want to be
I said, young troll, you can make real your dreams,
but you've got to know this one thing.

No man, invents it all by himself.
I said, young troll, put your post on the shelf
And just go there, to the HALF BA-KER-Y.
I'm sure they can help you today.

It's fun to stay at the HALF BA-KER-Y
It's fun to stay at the HALF BA-KER-Y
They have everything for young men to enjoy.
You can hang out with all the boys.

It's fun to stay at the HALF BA-KER-Y
It's fun to stay at the HALF BA-KER-Y
You can get yourself banned.
You can make an appeal.
You can do whatever you feel.

Young troll, I was once in your shoes.
I said I was down and out with the blues.
I felt no man cared if I were alive.
I felt the whole wide web was so jive.

That's when someone came up to me
and said, young troll, take a walk up the street.
There's a place there called the HALF BA-KER-Y
They can start you back on your way.

It's fun to stay at the HALF BA-KER-Y
It's fun to stay at the HALF BA-KER-Y
They have everything for young men to enjoy.
You can hang out with all the boys.

HALF BA-KER-Y
It's fun to stay at the HALF BA-KER-Y
It's fun to stay at the HALF BA-KER-Y
Young troll, young troll, there's no need to feel down.
Young troll, young troll, pick yourself off the ground.

HALF BA-KER-Y
just go to the HALF BA-KER-Y
Young troll, young troll, I was once in your shoes.
Young troll, young troll, I was out with the blues.

HALF BA-KER-Y
HALF BA-KER-Y
HALF BA-KER-Y
HALF BA-KER-Y
-- k_sra, May 02 2003

I always thought UnaBubba was one of the Village People.
-- DrCurry, May 02 2003


I thought he was all of 'em.
-- RayfordSteele, May 02 2003


I'm having trouble figuring out the dance moves for this version.
-- beauxeault, May 02 2003



random, halfbakery