A recent equipment malfunction, coupled with the way electrical retailers insist on being closed at 2am, led me to some experimentation involving (a) bread and (b) a hot-air paint-stripper gun. The results were a revelation and some toast.
A 2kW hot air gun is capable of producing excellent toast of any desired shade (excluding blue, green etc) in a fraction of the time taken by a conventional domestic toaster, even when it's working, which mine wasn't. It is far more effective than a brulée torch in this regard.
There is clearly a much-needed gap in the market, therefore, for a kitchefied version of the hot-air gun. It should have a bread-wide, slot-shaped nozzle instead of a circular one (although it would be cool to have an interchangeable crumpet-sized nozzle), and should be more stainless-steely and less green-and-black -plasticky. It should also be sold with a suitably heat-proof platter, on which to place the bread during the toasting process, preferably with little clips to hold the bread to the heating blast.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 21 2018 Paul Hogan toast via blow torch pic data:image/jpeg;bas...nTd0f74rFiMfJjdH//Z [not_morrison_rm, Nov 21 2018] Paul Hogan toast via blow torch video https://youtu.be/YQRbTNN-jNE?t=24Flipper remake [not_morrison_rm, Nov 22 2018] MG42 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MG_421200 rounds a minute... [8th of 7, Nov 23 2018] //A 2kW hot air gun is capable of producing excellent toast//
So there's another tool I *need* to buy. Actually, is there any drying effect? I hate toast that gets all dried out in the middle, which is the problem with one-side-at-a-time grilling. I'd have thought the airflow might worsen the problem.-- bs0u0155, Nov 21 2018 You need to use it on the highest heat setting. On mine, there are three settings: warm, high flow; hot, high-flow and very hot, low flow.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 21 2018 Thought this might be a new toaster for the Americans who want everything to be capable of gunning down everything else that moves, or even stays still. Toasts first, and asks 'what type of bread?' later.-- xenzag, Nov 22 2018 Alternatives (a la [xenzag] above): Gun Toaster: sick of a cold gun in the morning? This will make your gun toasty-warm (please load AFTER toasting). Gun Toaster: A new formal position in the NRA. <raises glass> "To the Gun! May it keep us safe forever more!" But I do like the (actual) idea.-- neutrinos_shadow, Nov 22 2018 <raises glass> " Toast is the most - With butter or jam, we love it, goddamnit ! "-- normzone, Nov 22 2018 A Browning Machine Gun firing a few belts of ammunition out of your kitchen window generates enough heat to nicely brown your toast (hence the name) whilst also supplying enough boiling water from the water-cooling system to make a nice cup of tea. The neighbours complained a bit at first, and then suddenly stopped complaining.-- hippo, Nov 22 2018 Think it may have been the Vickers that was water cooled?-- xenzag, Nov 22 2018 The problem (and there is one) with using machine guns to make toast is that one often wants toast as emergency medicine for a hangover.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 23 2018 // the Vickers that was water cooled? //
Indeed. But the air-defence variant of the Browning MMG has a water cooled option. Vehicle, infantry and aircraft versions are air-cooled, limiting the firing rate.
There are air-cooled variants of the Vickers (and its kissing cousin, the 7.92mm MG 08) which were used in WW1 aircraft.
For toast preparation, we commend to your attention the 7.92mm MG 42 <link>. Not only does it have a higher rate of fire than either the Vickers or the Browning, but the square, slotted barrel jacket provides a very convenient location for the bread.
A quick practical test on a .50 cal M2 Browning HMG (all that was immediately available), using a panini (all that was immediately available), shows that even with the larger diameter barrel it's quite difficult to balance, and as soon a firing starts it's jolted off. The .30-06 version would be even more challenging in terms of hot food preparation.-- 8th of 7, Nov 23 2018 You're bluffing, [8th]. Nobody has easy access to panini.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 23 2018 Bah.
OK, you caught us. We were bluffing ... it was just a cheese and ham roll, but "panini" sounds much more up-market, or at least three times the price for the same thing.
We'd have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you pesky kids ...-- 8th of 7, Nov 23 2018 Yes, yes... but the Vickers has a more limited scope for puns, along the lines of "Well, it looks like my toast is nicely 'browning'..."-- hippo, Nov 27 2018 Is that the Maxim you live by, then... ?-- 8th of 7, Nov 27 2018 Disregarding [xenzag]'s comment about Americans, I like this idea! +
I often wonder why people make such absurd comments, but then again I also don't act much like the "commercial" American image that people assume we are all like!-- xandram, Nov 27 2018 It's a French thing, [xan].-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 27 2018 I love the smell of facepalm in the morning...-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Nov 27 2018 I haven't encountered anyone using a hot air gun to toast bread. A blowtorch, yes, but not a hot air gun.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 27 2018 Interesting way of posting that first image. It has the advantage that it will never disappear, as so many images linked from this site do, unless that practice becomes common and has to be disallowed for taking up too much space in the database, in which case that's a disadvantage. Further disadvantages are that my Chrome doesn't open it with a middle-click—I have to right-click and choose "open link in new tab"—and Imagus doesn't preview it, though I think these are bugs in those pieces of software.
Another disadvantage, though it's in the idea rather than the image-posting method, is that in North America, heat guns are usually only available up to 1.5 kW, for the same reason as kettles.-- notexactly, Dec 06 2018 random, halfbakery