Replace the felt covered slate table bed with a tray holding hard packed sand with grass growing in it. A miniature scroll type lawn mower such as those used to maintain putting greens is used to maintain the turf.
Changes to the height and cut direction will adjust the way the balls "play" from day to day. Different types of grass would create variations as well.
For an added challenge the addition of bonsai trees to the playing surface could add variety to play.-- jhomrighaus, Nov 27 2006 Croquet http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CroquetAs enjoyed by Alice in Wonderland [zen_tom, Nov 29 2006] Sweet jesus, was that a gopher?-- Chefboyrbored, Nov 27 2006 Cut it with nail scissors, surely.-- Germanicus, Nov 27 2006 Could be but I was thinking along the lines of a mini version of that red spool mower from "The Lawnmower Man" by Stephen King.-- jhomrighaus, Nov 27 2006 ohh now there is a thought! felt covered balls......
As to clay they would only have those when playing in Great Britain.-- jhomrighaus, Nov 27 2006 damage to felt is more random if the balls are felt covered reducing the skill level attainable Plancks Law-- bulb, Nov 28 2006 What about using ice and hard rubber balls? The hard part will be the teeny little Zamboni....-- jhomrighaus, Nov 28 2006 Or with the ice you could make the balls out of Granite.-- jhomrighaus, Nov 28 2006 ohh now there is a thought! felt covered balls....I belive Mrs Clause Baked this for Santa.-- Chefboyrbored, Nov 28 2006 [jhomrighaus] Hey! You just invented table-top curling. Did you notice? Would be v. cool in every sense of the word and would keep your beer cold too. Brill!-- squeak, Nov 29 2006 I was watching curling this weekend which made me think of it. (USA women housed the USA men for what its worth)-- jhomrighaus, Nov 29 2006 I suppose for a grass-covered table you could periodically move the pockets around like they do on a golf course to make the gameplay change.
Of course most of us would put off mowing the grass until it was about 6 inches tall and dying in patches.-- MoreCowbell, Nov 29 2006 + and water hazards? possibly a windmill. After reading the idea, I kind of want one of these.-- Zimmy, Nov 29 2006 I like the ice playing surface idea. Why not have square blocks with mini skate blades on the bottom? The blades would have to be modified however so the blocks could spin freely and not keep going in one direction.-- Elk, Nov 29 2006 Wow what a great birthday present from all of you. This is my 4th best idea ever, and all in one day. Thanks.-- jhomrighaus, Nov 29 2006 Happy birthday, my man. Here's a bun with a candle in it. +-- jtp, Nov 30 2006 Happy Birthday! I propose moss to serve as mini grass. A mini-golf course table would be nice too.-- jmvw, Nov 30 2006 8 ball corner pocke+-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Nov 30 2006 I think we would also need a miniature centerpoint watering system to keep everything green.-- jhomrighaus, Dec 04 2006 random, halfbakery