Start by selling your house and most of its contents. Then go on holiday. When you come back, drive in reverse to a hotel late in the afternoon and dance for a bit to backwards music. Give the guests various pieces of your kitchen equipment and so forth. Then, drive, again in reverse to the church, pay the vicar, go up to the altar and unsay your wedding vows backwards in front of family and friends, back out, go your separate ways.
This is to count as a legal divorce and there are civil and other religious versions of the ceremony. One advantage is you end up richer, having been paid by the caterers, the musicians, DJ, hotel and so on, and it all goes back to normal. This is by contrast to the normal expensive version, but it does unfortunately involve a bit of a mass vomiting session with one's nearest and dearest. Then again, you can't win 'em all, can you?-- nineteenthly, Apr 23 2012 //you end up richer, having been paid by the caterers, the musicians// Only if you can find a way to regurgitate vol-au-vents and project sound from your ears.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 23 2012 I like the part where the bride catches the bouquet while facing the other way.
Might be tricky erasing your signatures from the marriage license.-- tatterdemalion, Apr 23 2012 Parting Gift <Looks down at slop on hand, wipes it on pants>
"What was that?"
"The first blowjob I gave you."-- UnaBubba, Apr 23 2012 Not a bad idea, [bigsleep]. I think we got three at our wedding.-- UnaBubba, Apr 23 2012 [MB], i will work on that.-- nineteenthly, Apr 24 2012 Would that everything in life worked like this.-- ytk, Apr 24 2012 Yeah. Your entire life would end with a prolonged bout of breastfeeding, a long swim and an orgasm.-- UnaBubba, Apr 24 2012 [-], I am not giving that fondue set back to Auntie Babs.-- 4whom, Apr 24 2012 //Yeah. Your entire life would end with a prolonged bout of breastfeeding, a long swim and an orgasm.//
Is this how we all end up "becoming one?"-- RayfordSteele, Apr 24 2012 Although I bunned this (I DO like it)- I think we need to walk backwards from the altar to the church doors and change into jeans and sweatshirts to unsay the vows! [+]-- xandram, Apr 24 2012 I can get on board with that, [xandram], and also getting into a flatshare with friends afterwards - presumably fellow divorcees.-- nineteenthly, Apr 24 2012 Wasn't thiis sort-of baked in a sketch by Mel Smith and Griff Rhys-jones ?-- 8th of 7, Apr 24 2012 If you have kids, this is going to be unpleasant...-- MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 24 2012 Time to go home, little butt-monkey.-- UnaBubba, Apr 24 2012 It's called retrospective travelling in fourth dimension! [+]-- Inyuki, Apr 24 2012 Time flies like an arrow.-- UnaBubba, Apr 24 2012 ... in a wind tunnel.-- Inyuki, Apr 24 2012 Arrows fly in one direction.-- UnaBubba, Apr 24 2012 It could travel backwards, if the backwards wind is (in absolute value) faster than the arrow...-- Inyuki, Apr 24 2012 Only if you are outside the arrow's frame of reference.-- UnaBubba, Apr 24 2012 Oh yes, sure.-- Inyuki, Apr 24 2012 //Time flies like an arrow.//. Fruit flies like a plum. I saw a similar backwards time thing on Red Dwarf. Pretty funny.-- AusCan531, Apr 25 2012 There's no way The Good Fairy Jenny and I are going to backwards-jump barefoot over crossed broom and sword. Even Heathens have safety standards.-- Alterother, Apr 25 2012 Mentioning the arrow makes me think of how the paradox of the arrow might apply to relativity.-- nineteenthly, Apr 25 2012 Flibbetyblooblobleep, [AusCan].-- UnaBubba, Apr 25 2012 Excellent idea [+] which reminds me of what happens when you play a Country and Western record backwards (old joke) You get your wife back, your dog comes home, the drink goes back into the bottle etc etc.-- xenzag, Apr 25 2012 random, halfbakery